Heartland

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:

boudicca wrote:Anyone with an ounce of imagination could think up all sorts of filthy things to do with a bottle of Diet Coke...

'Drinking it', for one

IZ.

Has it got to be Diet?

canon docre wrote:I thought sex toys are for people who have given up going to bars since a long time?

@timsinister: what exactly is a vaux vibrator? I thought a vibrator is already a vaux dick? Or was it vice versa?

Maybe it's just a vibrator that doesn't work. Otherwise I'm confused.

EvilBastard wrote:

Badlander wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:I have to admit to being troubled by a product that proclaims itself thus:

"This surgical steel plunger with increasing width and rippled surface is perfect for deep anal or vaginal explorations don't forget your miner's hat!"

Miner's hat??

Ok, I get that the miner's hat keeps one from getting conked on the head - but what does this have to do with vaginal or anal exploration, unless the object is very small or the subject is very large. Still confused...

a miner's hat has a LIGHT on it, silly! otherwise it'd just be 'helmet' instead.

Debaser wrote:Last Christmas (2004ish)we bought a vibrator and an inflatable sheep from a pub in the Bail in Lincoln.

Come to think of it, we've still got the sheep somewhere....

I don't wanna ask about what happened to the vibrator!

davedecay wrote:a miner's hat has a LIGHT on it, silly! otherwise it'd just be 'helmet' instead.

Silly me - I was getting confused with a wizard's hat, which I understand has a knob on the end...so you can see how the two might get mixed up...

EvilBastard wrote:Silly me - I was getting confused with a wizard's hat, which I understand has a knob on the end...so you can see how the two might get mixed up...

That will be: "AIIIIEEEEEEEEE Wizard's STAFF has a knobbun'the end, knobbun'the end , knobbun'the end "

Ook approved

IZ.

Badlander wrote:

canon docre wrote:4
@timsinister: what exactly is a vaux vibrator? I thought a vibrator is already a vaux dick? Or was it vice versa?

Maybe it's just a vibrator that doesn't work. Otherwise I'm confused.

It's a step down even from vibrators, like on a sliding scale?

Christ, I swore I'd never have this conversation again.

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:That will be: "AIIIIEEEEEEEEE Wizard's STAFF has a knobbun'the end, knobbun'the end , knobbun'the end "

Ook approved

IZ.

Thanks, Nanny - one signed copy of The Joy of Snacks coming your way

EvilBastard wrote:

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:That will be: "AIIIIEEEEEEEEE Wizard's STAFF has a knobbun'the end, knobbun'the end , knobbun'the end "

Ook approved

IZ.

Thanks, Nanny - one signed copy of The Joy of Snacks coming your way

Cor! Just my luck!

Swap you for a Nanny Ogg Cookbook? It has the Bananana Daiquiri recipe

IZ.

emilystrange wrote:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky

you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...

MadameButterfly wrote:

emilystrange wrote:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky

you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...

Suggestions needed?

And/or earplugs?

IZ.

MadameButterfly wrote:

emilystrange wrote:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky

you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...

if i was a woman i'd have a set of chinese love-balls discretely onboard at all times -people notice us men if we walk around playing pocket hockey all day.

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:

MadameButterfly wrote:

emilystrange wrote:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky

you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...

Suggestions needed?


IZ.

ooo...suggestions? sure! let's see what you come up with...

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:

MadameButterfly wrote:

emilystrange wrote:

i've seen one.. and i wondered if it was a good idea to use some products whilst on the dancefloor... discreet maybe, but a little... tricky

you are one lucky lady! either i don't get out much or they don't have those here yet. on the dancefloor i would imagine a partner-in-crime and also more in a corner or darker spot....the screaming will attract attention though, unless the music is loud enough...

...or if quiet enough and discreet enough must be possible...

if i was a woman i'd have a set of chinese love-balls discretely onboard at all times -people notice us men if we walk around playing pocket hockey all day.

if you were a woman, could you walk in heels? could you dance in heels?

it wouldn't be any good in class!!! aaaghh the thought

I'm a good Catholic boy, so I have no idea what you're all on about...

MadameButterfly wrote:

eastmidswhizzkid wrote: if i was a woman i'd have a set of chinese love-balls discretely onboard at all times -people notice us men if we walk around playing pocket hockey all day.

if you were a woman, could you walk in heels? could you dance in heels?

Oh but come on Debs, we are lucky in that respect .
Being saved from moments of horrendous embarrassment more than makes up for the old visits from "the painters and decorators" IMHO.

James Blast wrote:I'm a good Catholic boy, so I have no idea what you're all on about...

substitute 'girl' for 'boy' in that, and there i am

So the target market is people who will use a vending machine placed on the wall in the middle of the bar, BUT maybe too embarrassed to go into a sex shop!!!

people will do anything when they're pissed. we should be glad there wasn't on in the george in Bloktober, or johnny's story would have been very different.

i suppose it makes more sense than getting pissed and going into a sex shop

CarpetKisser;-) wrote:i suppose it makes more sense than getting pissed and going into a sex shop

ooo...that doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

Perhaps sex shops should introduce bars / coffee etc for those embarrassed people. "Ooo, i'm thirsty, i'll just pop into BondageBucks for a large one and a muffin"

CarpetKisser;-) wrote:Perhaps sex shops should introduce bars / coffee etc for those embarrassed people. "Ooo, i'm thirsty, i'll just pop into BondageBucks for a large one and a muffin"

What is a muffin where you come from?

ROFLMAO!