Heartland

streamline wrote:

Debaser wrote:
I think it's perhaps best if I get a man in.

Might be for the best

Hee hee...it's the fastest I've ever moved, I can tell you...I shot backwards across the kitchen faster than a very fast thing.

Debaser wrote:AH, I think, that's why you need the back on.... BUGGER THAT, I'll rest mi thumbs on 'em to stop them being forced out................

Sorry - Pepsi/Monitor interface moment - I can just see you doing that.

Ness -whatever you do don't try to promote the liberation of the fairer sex by frazzling yourself in this manner again. burning bras is all very well but you aren't supposed to be still wearing it.

re. your elastictrickery -your house needs re-wiring. (this probably applies to 80% of privately owned properties over 40 years old.) i mean the house, of course, not you.

I haven't seen our mod MF posting today
Do you think he is swimming around at home, trying to screw on those nuts and bolts or whatever?
Don't forget about those rubber thingy's that join the pipes together, if you don't put them back onto the pipes where there are joints, the leakage continues....


oh dear Mark and Kerry...hope you folks are dry.

As long as the water wasn't connected to the electricity all is well, I presume?

Well speak of the devil....as in the saying.

He's alive! Logged on anyway *phew*!

Yes I'm alive. The boss came in early But thanks for the concern.

The tap is fixed and no longer leaking. I got a tap connector from B&Q (yeah, sorry) and pretty much did what PiB suggested. It only took 15 minutes in the end.

The end of the pipe that I cut off looks nothing like what a compression joint is meant to look like; but then the previous owner of the house was a DIY loony and there's all sorts of dodgy stuff in the plumbing and wiring. We have two fuse-boxes for a start

Ness your electricity fun reminds me of when I was about 12, I used to have great fun making little blue sparks by dropping bits of wire across the tracks on my Scalextric set, so I thought "I bet I could get a much bigger spark from the mains"...

I cut a wire coat-hanger into two pieces, and stuck one into each side of the mains socket...

To be fair, it was a very impressive spark.

EvilBastard wrote:

Debaser wrote:AH, I think, that's why you need the back on.... BUGGER THAT, I'll rest mi thumbs on 'em to stop them being forced out................

Sorry - Pepsi/Monitor interface moment - I can just see you doing that.

I'll tell you my bicycle stories, when there's a suitable thread of course.

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:Ness -whatever you do don't try to promote the liberation of the fairer sex by frazzling yourself in this manner again. burning bras is all very well but you aren't supposed to be still wearing it.

re. your elastictrickery -your house needs re-wiring. (this probably applies to 80% of privately owned properties over 40 years old.) i mean the house, of course, not you.

I like having the door opened for me and cloaks being thrown over muddy puddles - I'd even stay at home and bake cakes if someone would pay for me to stop at home Would I have to be nice to said person though...I'd struggle with that bit

As for my house, it's only about 20 years old...

markfiend wrote:
Ness your electricity fun reminds me of when I was about 12, I used to have great fun making little blue sparks by dropping bits of wire across the tracks on my Scalextric set, so I thought "I bet I could get a much bigger spark from the mains"...

I cut a wire coat-hanger into two pieces, and stuck one into each side of the mains socket...

To be fair, it was a very impressive spark.

For a minute I was about to proclaim I wasn't the stoopidist person on here....then I remembered that I was 30+ when I did it and you had the excuse of being 12

Mark,

Did you go for the proper plumber look as well and show your crack while fixing the leak?

Debaser wrote:For a minute I was about to proclaim I wasn't the stoopidist person on here....then I remembered that I was 30+ when I did it and you had the excuse of being 12

I beg to differ - there's nothing fundamentally stoopid about what you did. Misguided? Yes. Foolhardy? Certainly. But it's one of those mental disconnects we all suffer from. I promise you're not alone - you're just braver than the rest of us for coming out and admitting it, meanwhile we're sitting here going "Jesus I'm glad I'm not the only one who does stoopid sh*t with DIY." I've lost count of the number of times I've blacked-out the entire house by shorting something out, fried countless fuses, held a lightbulb just a teensy bit too hard and wound up in casualty (precipitating a 3-month ban on changing bulbs), flooded the bathroom because I neglected to turn the water off, spent 15 minutes changing a lightswitch and the next 3 days patching the wall because I'd made a hole big enough to drive a small rhino through. We all do it - the thing to remember is, no matter how much stoopid sh*t you've done in the past, you must persevere! Eventually wives, girlfriends, spouses and partners will just say "F@ckit!" when something needs to be done, and call in A Man, thus leaving you free to lie on the sofa, drink beer, and scratch your bollocks on a Saturday afternoon. Thus we have proved that being crap at DIY is an evolutionary defence mechanism

@EvilBastard



I did the electricity on my room, but because the fuse apparently can't take it, I have to get my power from one plug which still is on old wiring when I want to vacuum Still have to glue the wires for my speakers to the wall after about a year, err, destroyed many-a-cupboard and got angry over lots of IKEA rubbish

It's just showing off, all of it

EvilBastard wrote: Eventually wives, girlfriends, spouses and partners will just say "F@ckit!" when something needs to be done, and call in A Man, thus leaving you free to lie on the sofa, drink beer, and scratch your bollocks on a Saturday afternoon. Thus we have proved that being crap at DIY is an evolutionary defence mechanism

if only that was the case with my missus. she mistakenly believes -in the face of all the evidence to the contrary- that she can tackle any DIY job as easily as the little man in the reader's digest complete diy manual. i have had to insist on doing all the diy after once finding her lying on her back in the dark on one of the kids bunk-beds randomly thrusting a screw-driver into the ceiling trying to find the main electricity lighting ring, which is not isolated from the supply even when you turn the power off at the fuse box because it is the supply.

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:

EvilBastard wrote: Eventually wives, girlfriends, spouses and partners will just say "F@ckit!" when something needs to be done, and call in A Man, thus leaving you free to lie on the sofa, drink beer, and scratch your bollocks on a Saturday afternoon. Thus we have proved that being crap at DIY is an evolutionary defence mechanism

if only that was the case with my missus. she mistakenly believes -in the face of all the evidence to the contrary- that she can tackle any DIY job as easily as the little man in the reader's digest complete diy manual. i have had to insist on doing all the diy after once finding her lying on her back in the dark on one of the kids bunk-beds randomly thrusting a screw-driver into the ceiling trying to find the main electricity lighting ring, which is not isolated from the supply even when you turn the power off at the fuse box because it is the supply.

there is someting scary about that Lee...i hope the kids weren't watching


i recomend getting a very nice man in everytime now...plumbers, tilers, sparkies, joiners and builders...

now where's me gaffers hat?