Heartland

^^^wot he said. have fun!

EvilBastard wrote:Not a chrimbo holiday, per se, but rather than start a new thread...

I've booked me olibobs to The Hermit Kingdom, the "Democratic" People's Republic of North Korea, reasoning that, since my plans for retirement have encountered what my financial adviser refers to as "a great big cock up the arse, sans lube" (it's an industry term, apparently), the prospect of being arrested for doing something to offend local sensibilities and sentenced to 30 years on a collective re-education farm eating turnips or twigs or something is more appealing than spending my twilight years shuffling down to the food bank in a pair of carpet slippers and a shabby dressing gown sporting an assortment of unmentionable stains.

Indeed, while we have been briefed extensively on Dos and Don'ts (Do bow in front of the statue of Dear Leader, Don't wear a t-shirt with pictures of Ms Bassinger, Ms Cattrell, Ms Novak, and Mr. Jong-Un on it, bearing the legend "These Are A Few Of My Favourite Kims"), the fact that they have recently outlawed sarcasm makes it almost certain that I will not get out of the airport without being arrested, or possibly gunned down in a hail of high-velocity lead.

So stay tuned to your Independent News Source over the coming weeks - if you hear that a Briton has been invited to view NK's next nuclear test from the test chamber itself, that'll be me.

Damn. You've got some stones on you, hoss.

Get "the" haircut.

Pat wrote:Get "the" haircut.

... ...


@EvilBastard
Congrats and best ... really looking forward to your reports ... ...

Pat wrote:Get "the" haircut.

Not a chance! I've been growing it out since January, it's just at the Jim Morrison "young lion" phase now - then again, I understand that "a #1 all over" is de rigeur down at the Kim Jong-Il Holiday Camp For Those Whose Revolutionary Zeal Falls Short Of The Optimum.

EvilBastard wrote:"a #1 all over" is de rigeur down at the Kim Jong-Il Holiday Camp For Those Whose Revolutionary Zeal Falls Short Of The Optimum.

And then there's the haircut...

markfiend wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:"a #1 all over" is de rigeur down at the Kim Jong-Il Holiday Camp For Those Whose Revolutionary Zeal Falls Short Of The Optimum.

And then there's the haircut...

Pista wrote:

markfiend wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:"a #1 all over" is de rigeur down at the Kim Jong-Il Holiday Camp For Those Whose Revolutionary Zeal Falls Short Of The Optimum.

And then there's the haircut...

@Evilbastard I don't suppose the Sister's are big over there yet? You could do your bit for the cause, maybe an alternative version of Vision Thing, but contextually appropriate. 25 turnips in the room next door....

Anyway, I love Christmas. I do miss Santa though, but we had a good innings, seeing as he came here twice over the season, up to age 13 in one case. It is a family tradition, main presents at Christmas but something small on Little Christmas in January, on his way back to the North Pole. Double the magic. Now we have a quiet one for Christmas Day and St.Stephens Day and after that go see the relatives.

Microcosmia wrote:@Evilbastard I don't suppose the Sister's are big over there yet? You could do your bit for the cause, maybe an alternative version of Vision Thing, but contextually appropriate. 25 turnips in the room next door....

Probably not 25 turnips, if any at all. Maybe "25 pints of tree-bark soup in the room next door?"

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_ ... warfs.html

sultan2075 wrote: http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_ ... warfs.html

I've read that article before and it f**king terrifies me.

Might be at its most extreme in NK, but these concepts of race and purity are very evident everywhere in the Far East. Japan is as good an example as any.

euphoria wrote:Might be at its most extreme in NK, but these concepts of race and purity are very evident everywhere in the Far East. Japan is as good an example as any.

They're evident in some parts of the Near West too, the US being a good example. Maybe not as bad as it was, but certainly still pretty awful if you look closely. I'm not excusing NK's behaviour by any stretch, but it seems that we're often prepared to give our "friends" the benefit of the doubt (I'm thinking Saudi, Oman, Brunei, who all have fairly oppressive and totalitarian systems) which we don't always give our "enemies" (NK, Iran, etc.). And when you think about some of the places that we've supported in the past, some of the people who we've got into bed with, and some of the more unpleasant regimes we've shored up, I'm not sure that we're in a position to be casting too many stones.

That's just my view - again, not finding excuses for the things that NK gets up to (and some of it just sounds really really silly, like having to have a special towel with which to dust the portraits of Dear Leader and family - this is Python-esque stuff), but from a rational standpoint - we're either for principles, or we're not. I don't think we have the luxury of making fine distinctions:
NK has the bomb - this is bad, a cause for concern, and may ultimately lead to another war on the peninsula, which will not end well for anyone.
Israel (just as an example) may (or may not) have the bomb - they're not saying. But we're prepared to turn a blind eye to the issue, despite their not being signatories to the NPT.

Either a thing is bad or it isn't. And if it's bad, it's bad for everyone.

EvilBastard wrote:Israel (just as an example) may (or may not) have the bomb - they're not saying.

Off-topic somewhat, but...

In one of Colin Powell's leaked emails he said that Israel has 200 nuclear weapons. And I think that he would know.

markfiend wrote:Off-topic somewhat, but...

In one of Colin Powell's leaked emails he said that Israel has 200 nuclear weapons. And I think that he would know.

And you know that they're sitting around in Tel Aviv today, bitching about "the schvartzes and their big mouths"...

Blimey.

I know what you mean but I'm a bit uncomfortable with that language!

May as well blame the Russians as Powell himself, as it seems to have been them who "hacked" and leaked the emails.

markfiend wrote:Blimey.

I know what you mean but I'm a bit uncomfortable with that language!

May as well blame the Russians as Powell himself, as it seems to have been them who "hacked" and leaked the emails.

I'm not comfortable with it either, but since we were on the subject of race and purity, I can't honestly say that I've ever met anyone as casually bigotted as some jewish people I know. Saying it in yiddish doesn't make it any more palletable - schvartze, fegele, goyim, shikse, blondie, epithets that most of us would hesitate to utter in public, but (again) turned a blind eye to.

sultan2075 wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:Not a chrimbo holiday, per se, but rather than start a new thread...

I've booked me olibobs to The Hermit Kingdom, the "Democratic" People's Republic of North Korea.

Damn. You've got some stones on you, hoss.

And I'm back. Somewhat unscathed, although I had a few "sweaty palms" moments when they investigated my camera to see if it had a GPS function (it does, but they didn't find it. I shall be writing to Pentax to praise their overly-complicated Menu function!).
Interesting place, full of contradictions - imagine, if you will, someone taking Orwell's 1984 and using it as a manual for how to run a country, and you've pretty much got the DPRK. A personality cult, worship of graven images, unquestioning loyalty, and an apparent lack of any kind of irony. Not bad beer, although I won't be ordering dog soup again in a hurry - dog meat is fatty, tough, and overall not a great experience.
I gave one of our minders a flash drive full of western music - quite what they'll make of the Stooges, Plasmatics, Big Black, and The Girls I don't know, but either the youth of Pyongyang will be waving their hands in the air like they just don't care or they'll conclude that The West has absolutely nothing to offer them.

you could have included some beastie boys, then they could have been kim jong-illin'...

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:you could have included some beastie boys, then they could have been kim jong-illin'...

Licensed to Ill was on there, as well as some NWA and Hawkwind - apparently they listen mostly to Korean folk music with lyrics that exhort the listener to honour the leaders, but the Grand People's Study House in Pyongyang has a collection of western music (well, at least one knock-off Beatles CD) so perhaps this will add to their understanding of what's going on out here.

EvilBastard wrote:

sultan2075 wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:Not a chrimbo holiday, per se, but rather than start a new thread...

I've booked me olibobs to The Hermit Kingdom, the "Democratic" People's Republic of North Korea.

Damn. You've got some stones on you, hoss.

And I'm back. Somewhat unscathed, although I had a few "sweaty palms" moments when they investigated my camera to see if it had a GPS function (it does, but they didn't find it. I shall be writing to Pentax to praise their overly-complicated Menu function!).
Interesting place, full of contradictions - imagine, if you will, someone taking Orwell's 1984 and using it as a manual for how to run a country, and you've pretty much got the DPRK. A personality cult, worship of graven images, unquestioning loyalty, and an apparent lack of any kind of irony. Not bad beer, although I won't be ordering dog soup again in a hurry - dog meat is fatty, tough, and overall not a great experience.
I gave one of our minders a flash drive full of western music - quite what they'll make of the Stooges, Plasmatics, Big Black, and The Girls I don't know, but either the youth of Pyongyang will be waving their hands in the air like they just don't care or they'll conclude that The West has absolutely nothing to offer them.

Fascinating. I've got a whole host of questions that I can't even begin to formulate right now. Do you have photos? I'd love to see them (as would everyone else here, I'm sure).

You're in NYC, right? I was in Nyack last week for a funeral. To repeat myself: you ever make it down to Versailles-on-the-Potomac, drop me a line and we'll grab a pint or 12.

october the fucking tenth and the tv has begun it's xmas onslaught of unavoidable festive reminders. and not even an advert for this christmas but one suggesting that now is the perfect time to begin paying for xmas 2017. some cunt's idea of a joke? i hope they get exactly what they deserve for xmas- brutally fucking murdered.

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:october the fucking tenth and the tv has begun it's xmas onslaught of unavoidable festive reminders. and not even an advert for this christmas but one suggesting that now is the perfect time to begin paying for xmas 2017. some cunt's idea of a joke? i hope they get exactly what they deserve for xmas- brutally fucking murdered.

Well December is here and it looks like I only post in December!!

I'm going away again for xmas to Geneva. Be nice if we had some snow!!

I really don't buy xmas presents

xmas is for children to get a festive positive mood and a couple of presents to enjoy. I will not forget that i got some Sisters stuff back in 80's- early 90's as xmas presents