Heartland

*ahem* those that know me would say i couldn't either...

Belgium has a lot of short people too.

? i'm a true english small nutcase.

Well you could become Belgian easily enough. What have you got against the Belgians anyway? You can get good nuts there too.

nothing but i'm not sure why you want me to be belgian... am very confused hon

Being Belgian isn't just a geographical thing. It's a state of mind, a positive lifestyle choice. As a famous (well, one of the ten) Belgian once said, I think, therefore I am Belgian. Everyone wants to be Belgian. Bin Laden only took up extreme terrorism as a reaction to failing the Belgian citizenship test on religious grounds (a simple process by which an oath is sworn to the Gods of the European Butter, Banana and Grain mountains- note Emily, no secondary school qualifications required).

So stuff the Midlands right up junction 18 of the M1, leave the Fens and its drowning spires (and UAE as well) to be flooded when old fridges and hair spray cans make the ice age cometh again, and come elope with me on a big white...sealink channel ferry....to Mechelen, a sunny little suburb of Brussels, where the air is clear (on days when the paint factory is shut) and the park* but an aerosol can's throw away.

Make sense now?

*industrial

Belle gin

might be more apt

Do I care? not a jot

Damn good film though. Chocolat

Clucking Belle wrote:Being Belgian isn't just a geographical thing. It's a state of mind, a positive lifestyle choice. As a famous (well, one of the ten) Belgian once said, I think, therefore I am Belgian. Everyone wants to be Belgian. Bin Laden only took up extreme terrorism as a reaction to failing the Belgian citizenship test on religious grounds (a simple process by which an oath is sworn to the Gods of the European Butter, Banana and Grain mountains- note Emily, no secondary school qualifications required).

So stuff the Midlands right up junction 18 of the M1, leave the Fens and its drowning spires (and UAE as well) to be flooded when old fridges and hair spray cans make the ice age cometh again, and come elope with me on a big white...sealink channel ferry....to Mechelen, a sunny little suburb of Brussels, where the air is clear (on days when the paint factory is shut) and the park* but an aerosol can's throw away.

Make sense now?

*industrial

goodness me what an offer. i will confer with mr strange. Once i've finished sobbing when i get home he may well book my ticket....

I really do sympathise, Em. (can I call you 'Em'?)
the world has become obsessed with red tape and beurocracy.
it's absurd that you can't train to be a teacher till you have a crappy science GCSE. And Tony Blair cant understand why Britain has a teacher shortage!

i don't see why you can't call me em. we're all good friends here. and i don't think anyone has ever called me 'miss strange' at all...

HHmmmnn...you do need to teach science at primary level Emily....

But that's by the by..

I had to go to an FE college to re-do Maths GCSE as when I took it in 1980 I didn't need one to pat ponies ...imagine my horror that after getting it then entering teacher training college they launched 'exit' tests on us! To specify you needed Maths Eng at O level (old money speak) then perhaps fail these final maths Eng and ICT tests in your last year was rather irksome (even saw me write to various bodies to state my disgust.)

Back to Science - yes I was supposed to have that one too but apparently my Food & Nutrition (ok ok cookery o level) was good enough.

I found my year at FE college retaking maths and doing an Access course the best way of re-educating myself (it was over %#(*&(*& years since I last studied)

Took me 5 years to qualify (4 years ITT plus the 1 year FE) but it was well worth it.

At least you didn't say 'And I only wanted to teach primary kids' I've given one or two people short shrift after hearing that one!!

Two weeks before Christmas does not find many teachers in the best frame of mind I'm afraid - send me a pm if you need any help.

Black Shuck wrote:I really do sympathise, Em. (can I call you 'Em'?)
the world has become obsessed with red tape and beurocracy.
it's absurd that you can't train to be a teacher till you have a **** science GCSE. And Tony Blair cant understand why Britain has a teacher shortage!

Can you imagine the headlines ...... They are supposed to be educating our future and they haven't even got a basic standard of education themselves....

Doesn't the nation's future deserve educators who are of a certain standard?

EEEk now that sounds unsympathetic towards Emily's plight...FUK me I hate being a Libran

Britain has a teacher shortage because the job no longer is seen as a 'valuable' one. No child can ever be blamed it is ALWAYS the teacher's fault, the government thinks that by throwing 'golden handshakes' at recruits it's enough to persuade people to enter the profession (Nottinghamshire lost over 45% of new teachers (in their first 5 years) this year) main cause apparently work/life balance being crap, new initiatives being rushed through with little training or support. Cynics have said they took the 'golden handshake' and ran!

Emily, there's a new initiative to get Teaching Assistants to take a teaching qualification. TA's can do a one night a week college course and qualify to be a teacher in a year! Food for thought. There's also the GTTP (Graduate Teacher Training Programme) get a degree then you work in school to gain your QTS (Qualified Teacher Status) Oh and you also need to pass a very long test in acronym usage You would probably still need to have science though but you could do that part time...

emilystrange wrote:IF i do science gcse this year and get pass result in august i can ring them up and beg for a place. which makes me feel so like kicking them in the teeth.

I had to go through clearing too Emily, but I'm sure there will be a place for you. No need to beg.

oooh look rogue comma usage - see having o'level English, a degree and QTS means nowt

reminder to self...no comma needed if you're using 'but'

see? told you ness would know

Ness knows nowt I keep trying to tell you!

and hey, you missed an awesome experience at the Lowry last night

Em. Don't you want to study science? I'm a math teacher so of course I think this is important!

thanks everyone i needed your support yesterday.. i am doing the gtp app as well, it just hasn't been a good time lately and it was just the last straw, especially after the night before. much better today.
i dont mind doing science but its not supposed so be compulsory. i quite like it actually. its just the logistics... it'll work out.
thanks again.

for those who remember this..
i've got a training course interview tomorrow.
i'm s****** myself.
i only found out on friday.
AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
everyone pray. if you havent already been instructed to.

don't let them get you down. You are better than them. I hate it when people are like that, they should encourage you not bring you down. Ba$tard$!!

I hope everything goes OK and you get to do what you obviously would love to do

Arra best Ems.

dont worry. its not at the place that rejected me.
you've all done your bit by keeping me sane. strange though that might seem to some..

The very best of luck. I'm sure all our thoughts will be with you. Which means I'll be getting even less work done than usual.

you can work till 2.30, then worry.

Good luck!