There's me, enjoying a pleasant ramble through this thread-necro, when I come across this:
ageofmaya wrote:And I give you this bite, since it's very, very important! :
Surya's Bashar Assad is from the tribe of Alavites... Those are the Levites from the Bible!!! Yeah, yeah..! Doesn't a question pop up in mind "Why would Israelis and European Christians hate Assad if he is from their sacred highest biblical priesthood tribe"??!! Think...!
Suddenly everything became crystal clear, as if I had been brought out of an impenetrable fog, a classic pea-souper. Could it be that Agent of Maya had been able to lift the scales from my eyes, to provide insight where others had only provided obfuscation? Could his insight provide rhyme and reason for the present situation plaguing Syria?
Scarcely able to breathe for excitement, my heart pounding in my chest, my mouth dry, I pored over ancient texts from the time of the Prophet (PBUH) bequeathed to me by my great great uncle Algernon Aloysius Bastard OBE, DSO, DFC, VC, MC, GCMG, RSVP, who had spent years in the Levant on archaeological endeavours, seeking out learned scholars and mystics who could shed light on the mysteries of the region.
After literally minutes of ceaseless searching, my vision blurring as I picked through the fragile parchments by the light of my trusty hurricane lamp, I had my answer. My hands trembled as with the tip of an index finger coated in the dust of untold centuries I traced the cuniform text, referring constantly to the Rosetta Stone which Aloysius' grandfather Louis-Phillipe, Duc de Bâtard, had recovered from Egypt during an expedition with Napoleon's Grand Army, and a copy of which he had donated to the British Museum. In making the copy, however, he had made sure to omit some critical and significant parts, in order to prevent information from falling into the wrong hands. Indeed, the stone mason who he engaged to make the copy had afterwards had his eyes put out, his hands cut off, his tongue removed and his ears stopped up with hot lead in order that he could never reveal this secret. As I read and translated, making sure that I did not make the rookie mistake of using demotic Greek word order instead of the correct Hebrephenic Etruscan, I was scarcely able to believe my eyes - but there it was, in beautifully-illuminated text from the hand of a long-dead scribe who could not possibly have conceived of the significance of what he was writing. What could this man have known, as he bent over his parchment by the light of a guttering mutton-fat lamp, the ever-present sands of the desert threatening to pollute his pots of precious inks made from the rarest minerals, whose colours would spring as bright and vibrant from the page to my eyes in these days as they had in his, of events aeons in the future, when he and his descendants would long have gone to dust, where not even his name would be recalled? But there it was, clear to any who had the wit to read and the wisdom to understand.
"And in the second dynasty of the Queen Of The Weaver Of Roofs, whose dominion stretches lo unto the furthest reaches of the Isis, there shall come a man. Short shall be his stature, and dark his raiment, and with him shall ride his consort who is named [unfortunately there is no direct translation for the hieroglyph here, but it looks like a circle with a hole in the centre and what appears to be some form of frosting upon it]. He shall venture far into the lands of the Man Of Stone, whom he shall commission to inscribe his words upon strange black disks made from secretions of insects. He shall tell of a time of great inundation, of strange-coloured buildings in far distant places, whose significance will be pondered by many minds who are separated from one another but joined through mysterious connections of copper and gold, who shall not understand the significance of his words but who shall know that Israelis and European Christians hate Assad because he's an utter c
unt who persists in maintaining his increasingly tenuous grasp on power in the face of overwhelming opposition, a 21st century Canute if you will, by raining barrel bombs upon civilians and hospitals and generally being an abject c
ockwombling w@nkpuffin. And the Alawites have nothing to do with Levites - Alawites take their name from the Ali, Muhammad's son-in-law, while the Levites are said to have descended from Levi, and predate the Alawites by about 2000 years. But never mind, eh?"
... well, in the days of f***book and google, the term "healthy" has become somewhat questionable 
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