Heartland

The Stranger or L'Etranger if you know French-- Camus

It's short and sweet and killer imo.

The entire Meg & Mog Collection.

"and the ass saw the angel"-not because its by nick cave (although that was the reason i first read it)but because its seriously fookin good

"the dirt"-the Motley Crue autobiob;yeah,i think they're s**t too but its one of the best written rock stories;complete with all the required r'n'r excesses and some genuinely tragic sad bits

"web"-john wyndham;no,nothing to do with internet geekery;just a disturbing "what if.." about our eight legged friends

FFS Dave wrote:The entire Meg & Mog Collection.

f*cking goth

As I have said around here before, I generally stopped reading when I got the internet. But try "Secrets of the Rainmaker" by Chin Ning Chu, or "The Instant Millionaire" by Mark Fisher.

For something more escapist, try Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake.

As for Catcher in the Rye, Big Si, I've read that book, but my memory is so shot, I don't remember it too well. Is that the book about the kid in New York City? Broke, he walks home one morning at dawn, describing the walk as "41 glorious blocks".

While we are on this topic, I am a writer myself - amongst other things. One of my stories has sort of stopped in its tracks (after the first page!) and so I am hoping some friendly Heartlanders can make some suggestions to the text so far (below), by way of critique or story line input. It's called Night Shift.

Oh, and before we get into it, WB Yeats was quoted as saying, "the best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity". On that note, here's my (one page) story so far...



- THE NIGHT SHIFT -


It was my first day on the job and the topic soon turned to drugs, as I was hoping it would.

The supervisor sat calmly behind his desk, sifting through piles of paper. I couldn't pick his nationality, but this only added to the already bent atmosphere that I picked-up on the moment I hired into the place.

Out of the corner of my eye I gave him a long look, poring over every detail in his worn-out workshirt and the ludicrous design of his neck-tie.

The atmosphere didn't seem to encourage reticence. "And what sort of drugs are you on?!", I asked incredulously.

He looked up from his desk confidently. "Just about anything that comes my way", he said with a relaxed smile.

And so it was that his comment set the tone for the next six months of my life, working midnight to dawn on vodka benders, smoke-ups, speed binges and hair-raising trip-outs.

Within a few days I was part of a family, accepted as a like-minded member of a community in which work took a backseat to the more serious business of getting ripped.

"No-one has spent more time getting smashed in this place than me," said a veteran employee by way of introduction, chuckling as he polished off a few quick cans on his tea break. "Not too much coffee gets consumed around here", he laughed as the supervisor, huffing and puffing, rolled a keg of beer through the staff-room door.

"We do things differently... no-one could accuse us of lacking a convivial atmosphere" he laughed, as the beer in his hand exploded in a foamy haze.

The supervisor straightened up, casting a nervous glance over his shoulder. "I hope you remembered to disengage those pesky security cameras! We wouldn't want management getting wind of our priorities on this shift, would we?" he chuckled.

I lit a big hookah, leaning backwards. Eyes barely open, I looked up at the ceiling, observing its peeling paint and the faulty flicker of its strip lights as my face disappeared behind a cloud of wispy smoke.

"Well... I suppose you guys are feeling the effects of a nasty drought, eh?" the supervisor asked sympathetically as he tossed a cold can my way, miraculously appearing out of nowhere through the hookah smoke surrounding me.

I grimaced, blowing smoke out of the side of my mouth as I ripped the top off the can. I knew my days were numbered the moment I hired into the place, so I was determined to make it fun before it came crashing to a hungover end.

- to be continued -

Black Biscuit wrote:As for Catcher in the Rye, Big Si, I've read that book, but my memory is so shot, I don't remember it too well. Is that the book about the kid in New York City? Broke, he walks home one morning at dawn, describing the walk as "41 glorious blocks".

That's the one! Not one of my ultimate faves, but a good read anyway. And IMHO Orwell's "Down and Out....." pishes all over Kerouac's "On The Road".

I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan

On of my holiday book impulse buys a few years back and one that bears repeated reading. Darkly funny and funnily dark in equal measure - the descriptions of Lucifer experiencing colours through human eyes is wonderful, and as for when he discovers wanking

Amazon.co.uk Review wrote: Glen Duncan’s I, Lucifer begins one steamy summer as some heavy negotiations are taking place in Heaven. God has decided to give Lucifer, the furthest-fallen of all fallen angels, a second chance. The Prince of Darkness can return to the fold, provided he manages to last one month on earth without sin. The human form chosen for this celestial experiment? A depressed novelist of little renown, currently contemplating suicide in his Clerkenwell garret.
Lucifer eagerly grasps the opportunity for a holiday on earth, and uses his host’s identity to re-write the story of Creation in a format that has Hollywood moguls kissing his feet. It’s not popular with Him Upstairs, of course, what with the Devil being portrayed as a maverick free-thinker and God as a humourless autocrat. But Lucifer’s having too much fun to care. He’s experiencing the pleasures of the flesh for the first time and everything – the odour of sweaty tube trains, cocaine, ice-cream, dirty sex--delights him. By the time the archangels are dispatched to bring him back, the Lord of all that’s inhumane can’t think of anything he’d rather be than human.

Lucifer befogs his audience, alternately spitting fury at them like some sulphur-charged Dennis Leary and then insisting that he’s a nice guy, just misunderstood. What’s clear, however, is that Glen Duncan is not merely one of those writers who can come up with amusing concepts. He’s a sharp, sometimes savage observer of the human condition, whose talents are as many as the legions of Hell.--Matthew Baylis

yep. read it a while ago.. very funny

mik wrote:I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan

On of my holiday book impulse buys a few years back and one that bears repeated reading. Darkly funny and funnily dark in equal measure - the descriptions of Lucifer experiencing colours through human eyes is wonderful, and as for when he discovers wanking

Amazon.co.uk Review wrote: Glen Duncan’s I, Lucifer begins one steamy summer as some heavy negotiations are taking place in Heaven. God has decided to give Lucifer, the furthest-fallen of all fallen angels, a second chance. The Prince of Darkness can return to the fold, provided he manages to last one month on earth without sin. The human form chosen for this celestial experiment? A depressed novelist of little renown, currently contemplating suicide in his Clerkenwell garret.
Lucifer eagerly grasps the opportunity for a holiday on earth, and uses his host’s identity to re-write the story of Creation in a format that has Hollywood moguls kissing his feet. It’s not popular with Him Upstairs, of course, what with the Devil being portrayed as a maverick free-thinker and God as a humourless autocrat. But Lucifer’s having too much fun to care. He’s experiencing the pleasures of the flesh for the first time and everything – the odour of sweaty tube trains, cocaine, ice-cream, dirty sex--delights him. By the time the archangels are dispatched to bring him back, the Lord of all that’s inhumane can’t think of anything he’d rather be than human.

Lucifer befogs his audience, alternately spitting fury at them like some sulphur-charged Dennis Leary and then insisting that he’s a nice guy, just misunderstood. What’s clear, however, is that Glen Duncan is not merely one of those writers who can come up with amusing concepts. He’s a sharp, sometimes savage observer of the human condition, whose talents are as many as the legions of Hell.--Matthew Baylis

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I too, bought this as a 'quick grab something before we get on the plane' a fair few years ago.

The Throwback by Tom Sharpe. Never have innocence and ruthless destruction been funnier. This book is so funny that other people will steal it to find out why you're laughing so much. I first read it 20 years ago and literally thought I was going to die laughing at one point. I read it again 5 years later and again though I was going to die laughing. The 3rd read was a bit less traumatic but still hilarious. Then somebody nicked the book so I bought another copy which I've lent out and not had returned! A friend's dad had his copy stolen when he was reading it while sunbathing on the beach. He turned away to have a good laugh and when he turned back, the book was gone!

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:"the dirt"-the Motley Crue autobiob;yeah,i think they're s**t too but its one of the best written rock stories;complete with all the required r'n'r excesses and some genuinely tragic sad bits

What? Like the time their singer was responsible for the death of Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle? Drunk driving, feckin waste of space!

DerekR wrote:

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:"the dirt"-the Motley Crue autobiob;yeah,i think they're s**t too but its one of the best written rock stories;complete with all the required r'n'r excesses and some genuinely tragic sad bits

What? Like the time their singer was responsible for the death of Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle? Drunk driving, feckin waste of space!

Glad someone remembers.

i was thinking more of his four year old daughter being eaten alive by a seven-pound cancerous tumour and his anguish at his inability to do anyhing for her.i agree,drink-drivings for cnuts;i learnt my lesson a long time ago and fortunately it only cost me a car(and a ban).that doesnt mean killing your best mates gonna be an easy thing to deal with.anyway,i cant stand motley crue...i just thought it was a good read especially compared to most rock biogs.
however..if thats not your cup of JD then "Rotten:no blacks,no dogs,no irish" is s**t-hot too.

I, Lucifer is rather good - one of those impulse buys which I thought might be good-mediocre if I was lucky and turned out to be much better.

Falling Out of Cars by Jeff Noon - a road trip through a decaying England with a decaying psyche, from oop North to Brighton. This book mirrors my state of mind on far too many occasions in the past. For the times when you're not actually sure what's holding you together and keeping you going.

any "discworld" book. terry pratchett.

Anything by Jeffery Deaver. Esp. The Lincon Rhyme series.

mik wrote:

So, I'm back and heeded the word of heartland. These are the votes of the ruffers jury -

I, Lucifer - excellent. 9/10

Took the second of the His Dark Materials books as suggested - as expected, more of the same. I must admit I like them. 7/10

And also as suggested I finally got round to One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, and I enjoyed that as well. 8/10

You guys are great

NB - Do not even CONSIDER reading The Rule Of Four, allegedly the intelligent version of the Da Vinci Code. That was my girlfriend's selection to which I turned to after reading my three above, and it is p*ss poor. minus several million/10

FFS Dave wrote:The entire Meg & Mog Collection.

What's Meg & Mog

nick the stripper wrote:

FFS Dave wrote:The entire Meg & Mog Collection.

What's Meg & Mog

kids books.

http://nutmeg.gen.nz/megandmog/

before your time

I think my sister has some of those books in a box somewhere

I think I have one or two mog n meg books myself.

Ed Rhombus wrote:I enjoyed most of the Asterix books

Excellent holiday reading.

As is almost anything by Umberto Eco.

But you're back now I gather.

Eco (Although I never finished "The Island Of The Day Before")

Just embarked on my second read of "Baudolino".

At the moment I am about half way through Heavier than Heaven by Charles R Cross which is the biography of Kurt Cobain. Very good

boudicca wrote:

DerekR wrote:

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:"the dirt"-the Motley Crue autobiob;yeah,i think they're s**t too but its one of the best written rock stories;complete with all the required r'n'r excesses and some genuinely tragic sad bits

What? Like the time their singer was responsible for the death of Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle? Drunk driving, feckin waste of space!

Glad someone remembers.

Me too, but I think time the avenger has done its job on him...