Heartland

Quiff Boy wrote:

_emma_ wrote:Well if I was a granny I'd hate to see my grandson or granddaughter or anyone being made to face such a dillema. If they had doubts, I'd order them to go to the gig (or bikers assembly or bungee jumping competition or whatever it would be). But that's me.

same here to be honest. but then we are children of a rock and roll age - presumably his granny isn't and may not understand his passion for a band...

I agree. And it seems like you, Christophe, have said she's insisted you go see the Sisters (that's the proper reaction of relatives imho!).

2 choices: a) discuss with her whether another date for the big party would be feasible, because you'd LOVE to be with her on the big day.
b) If a) is not possible, have a special evening with her, just the two of you: invite her for dinner, in and you cooking (best choice), or out and you paying (second best choice). Or invite her to something else which is fun for both of you. However, just show her that she is very important to you too.

I'd be the first to agree that family are the most important in one's life if one gets along more or less with them. But on the other hand, the youngsters have to live their life as well, one can't just feed off the relation one has with the family, because sooner or later one will loose them to death anyway.

Eva wrote:2 choices: a) discuss with her whether another date for the big party would be feasible, because you'd LOVE to be with her on the big day.

If you'd LOVE to be with on her big day, go to the party! FFS. It's not like the bloke's in hospital having life-saving surgery on that date. He's choosing to go to hear a rock band for the second time in three days.

b) If a) is not possible, have a special evening with her, just the two of you: invite her for dinner, in and you cooking (best choice), or out and you paying (second best choice). Or invite her to something else which is fun for both of you. However, just show her that she is very important to you too.

She is clearly very important. Just not as important as a faded rock star who has run out of beer money. I imagine she will see that clearly enough.

I'd be the first to agree that family are the most important in one's life if one gets along more or less with them. But on the other hand, the youngsters have to live their life as well, one can't just feed off the relation one has with the family, because sooner or later one will loose them to death anyway.

'Sorry Granny, I'm not coming to your birthday party. But it's OK, you'll be dead soon anyway.'

Have a listen to yourselves, and just maybe let a little bit of the real world intrude into your obsessions.

How important would a family commitment be before you would agree to miss the gig? Granny's funeral? Your own wedding? The birth of your child (perhaps harder for the ladies not to attend that one, but you see my point).

It is only a gig, by a band who play far more regularly than their material suggests is necessary. If you miss them this year they'll be back in another couple of years, creaking a bit more around the edges, to play the same old songs to the same old fans.

It's not going to be Granny's 80th ever again, is it? I'm starting to wonder if some people deserve families in the first place

Do the right thing: you know what you should do, or you wouldn't be asking the question.

andymackem wrote:Do the right thing: you know what you should do, or you wouldn't be asking the question.

Speaking sense as ever.
You know what you want to do, christophe, and you know what you should do. Hint: They're not the same thing.

damn you andy with your common sense

but then rock and roll never did sit happily alongside common sense...

Eva wrote:
2 choices: a) discuss with her whether another date for the big party would be feasible, because you'd LOVE to be with her on the big day.
b) If a) is not possible, have a special evening with her, just the two of you: invite her for dinner, in and you cooking (best choice), or out and you paying (second best choice). Or invite her to something else which is fun for both of you. However, just show her that she is very important to you too.

You appear to have forgotten c) Go to the party.

Eva wrote: I'd be the first to agree that family are the most important in one's life if one gets along more or less with them. But on the other hand, the youngsters have to live their life as well, one can't just feed off the relation one has with the family, because sooner or later one will loose them to death anyway.

Well my grandparents are all dead so yep, you're right. And thinking about it my parents are turning 60 this year - should I give up on them now?

I don't think anyone's suggesting that one can exclusively "feed off the relation one has with the family", however I am certainly suggesting that it should be given it's proper emphasis for many reasons including not least that we will lose them to death anyway. And giving it it's proper emphasis would result in going to the feckin' party.

My oh my, see what you've done christophe.

andymackem wrote: She is clearly very important. Just not as important as a faded rock star who has run out of beer money. I imagine she will see that clearly enough.

I'd be the first to agree that family are the most important in one's life if one gets along more or less with them. But on the other hand, the youngsters have to live their life as well, one can't just feed off the relation one has with the family, because sooner or later one will loose them to death anyway.

'Sorry Granny, I'm not coming to your birthday party. But it's OK, you'll be dead soon anyway.'.

Have a listen to yourselves, and just maybe let a little bit of the real world intrude into your obsessions..

Well, if you deliberately choose to misunderstand my statement as much as you obviously have, that's up to you. But I'm probably closer to my family than you can imagine. AND the mutual agreement between us has always been such that I would have gone to any Sisters gig, wether it'd be anybody's birthday or not, and that if my parents had something "important" on my birthday, we'd postpone the celebration for the same reason. Different families obviously have different traditions no matter how close and important their members are to each other.

andymackem wrote:Do the right thing: you know what you should do, or you wouldn't be asking the question.

Now this statement has some truth in it. If you, Christophe have the feeling that your Granny wouldn't take it easy, if you missed her party, and/or if you know you won't be able to enjoy a Sisters gig if you're going to miss your Granny's birthday, then skip that Sisters gig. It really is a matter of family traditions.

an eightieth birthday party will be a far more enjoyable way of spending an evening witnessing the car crash that is the sisters live. having said that, pretty much anything would be a better use of your time than helping uncle andy top-up his pension plan.

if it was a near meth experience gig on the other hand...

RicheyJames wrote:an eightieth birthday party will be a far more enjoyable way of spending an evening witnessing the car crash that is the sisters live. having said that, pretty much anything would be a better use of your time than helping uncle andy top-up his pension plan.

if it was a near meth experience gig on the other hand...

He returns!

ruffers wrote:

Eva wrote:
2 choices: a) discuss with her whether another date for the big party would be feasible, because you'd LOVE to be with her on the big day.
b) If a) is not possible, have a special evening with her, just the two of you: invite her for dinner, in and you cooking (best choice), or out and you paying (second best choice). Or invite her to something else which is fun for both of you. However, just show her that she is very important to you too.

You appear to have forgotten c) Go to the party.

I was referring to the hypothetic situation that he was choosing to attend the gig, instead of the party.

ruffers wrote:

Eva wrote: I'd be the first to agree that family are the most important in one's life if one gets along more or less with them. But on the other hand, the youngsters have to live their life as well, one can't just feed off the relation one has with the family, because sooner or later one will loose them to death anyway.

Well my grandparents are all dead so yep, you're right. And thinking about it my parents are turning 60 this year - should I give up on them now?
I don't think anyone's suggesting that one can exclusively "feed off the relation one has with the family", however I am certainly suggesting that it should be given it's proper emphasis for many reasons including not least that we will lose them to death anyway. And giving it it's proper emphasis would result in going to the feckin' party.

Obviously I should have used more words to express my thoughts.

I'll try again by showing where my train of thoughts came from:

On one hand I think family are the most important people in ones life. I've lost my father six years ago suddenly, we had been VERY close, me being an only child. And I'm very glad we had a very close contact before he died of a heart attack. On the other hand: If everything goes according to my plans I'll be living abroad for the next 3 years after my exams in autumn, despite the fact that my mum, aged 67, had a cancerous tumour removed in February and currently has chemotherapy.

What shall I do? Forget about my professional future and stay with my mum instead, or follow the offered opportunities 1500 kms away from her? Of course I can go back anytime, should she get ill again, but still, I won't have the close contact with her that I have now, seeing her at least once a week.

But as a child you also owe it to your parents that you live your life, that you make the best possible of what they've given to you by giving you birth. Part of the job is leading a happy life, having friends etc., so that parents can let go of their children, knowing that these children do not depend on them anymore. That's what I meant when I said that one has to live ones own life. And that's why in the end and despite of my fear of loosing my mum soon, I've decided that I will take the opportunity and live abroad for some time, hoping that my mum will stay alive for the next 5, 10, 15 years.

Now seriously, it's not as complicated as it seems.
1. If Christophe has good relationship with his Granny, his absence at the party surely won't spoil a thing.
2. If Christophe has bad relationship with his Granny, it's not worth going to the party.

_emma_ wrote:Now seriously, it's not as complicated as it seems.
1. If Christophe has good relationship with his Granny, his absence at the party surely won't spoil a thing.
2. If Christophe has bad relationship with his Granny, it's not worth going to the party.

Nice way of looking at it...
If it was me, I'd go see the sisters and bring Granneh something VERY nice back with me. Or even better see her the day before the party, so she doesn't think you've forgotten.

Eva, my best wishes to your mother. My mother had a similar experience a few years ago and is all clear now, stay positive.



There is a difference between going away for a few years and knowing you will go back as and when you need and want to, and not going to a specific one-off celebration of a Grandmother's 80th Birthday. While I don't think we're a million miles apart in our views in general I think we'll have to agree to differ on whether Christophe should be going or not.

I think where my views are coming from and the reason I'm reacting to this is that I went to a neighbour's funeral last Friday, an old dear from upstairs. Her family never visited her at home or in hospital but turfed up for the funeral, and while I was there I overheard two very specific "You know, we should have visited" conversations. Damn right you should.

_emma_ wrote:My oh my, see what you've done christophe.

indeed I was hoping you freaks would dragg me to the gig, not this
but serius.

my grandmother is my favorit and most important relatif. If it would be anybody els I wouldn't even give it a second thought.
the party it self is actualy more of a thing for her old friends and noughbours, another grandson can't come becaus he has to work and another is traveling at that time... not that I use that as a excuse. I wan't to be there.
but I'm looking forward to that gig since I have seen them in Deinze, that gig was the centerpoint that made me a fan, I haven't seen them afterwords..... I'm not like most of you who are fans for as long as I live.

Thanks for the good wishes, ruffers.

And from your point of view I agree completely with what you and AndyMackem said. One has to "enjoy" family and visit parents/relatives as long as one has them. I just went through the roof because I felt misunderstood and pictured as somebody who doesn't give a fcuk about parents and relatives as long as they're alive....

That's settled then.

Isn't it

ruffers wrote:I think where my views are coming from and the reason I'm reacting to this is that I went to a neighbour's funeral last Friday, an old dear from upstairs. Her family never visited her at home or in hospital but turfed up for the funeral, and while I was there I overheard two very specific "You know, we should have visited" conversations. Damn right you should.

maybe yes.
but Id rather have people I know who like me even the can't always be there for me than strangers on my funeral.

Yeah, he's going

christophe wrote:

ruffers wrote:I think where my views are coming from and the reason I'm reacting to this is that I went to a neighbour's funeral last Friday, an old dear from upstairs. Her family never visited her at home or in hospital but turfed up for the funeral, and while I was there I overheard two very specific "You know, we should have visited" conversations. Damn right you should.

maybe yes.
but Id rather have people I know who like me even the can't always be there for me than strangers on my funeral.

To clarify - this wasn't a dig at you personally - it was the reason I'm reacting more strongly than I normally would.

ruffers wrote:Yeah, he's going

yes, that was clear even before I started this topic

ruffers wrote:To clarify - this wasn't a dig at you personally - it was the reason I'm reacting more strongly than I normally would.

I know, and I understand what you said. you would be suprised what kind of decissions I had to take on that matter.

Eva wrote:I just went through the roof

If that's an example of a Swiss woman in a strop, I'm gonna get me a Heidi.

RicheyJames wrote:an eightieth birthday party will be a far more enjoyable way of spending an evening witnessing the car crash that is the sisters live. having said that, pretty much anything would be a better use of your time than helping uncle andy top-up his pension plan.

If truth be told, Les Soeurs are just a good excuse for me to get away for a weekend.

On another thread a social engineer wrote:Well done kids!

Confirmed:

Johnny M
Francis
Doc P + 1
Delilah + assorted boys
Black Alice + 1
Motz + Father
Christophe + 1
Oviousman + 1
Andrew S. + Helen + Eva

Wannabees:

Canon Docre + ?
Quiify + 1

How fab and groovy is this road trip gonna be?

The above company is the main attraction. And I'll have the opportunity to dust off my alleged French, German and Italian cunning linguist skills.

Btw, where exactly is Tilburg? And, more to the point, which lower denomination English coins work in their cigarette machines and pool tables?

Francis wrote:The above company is the main attraction. And I'll have the opportunity to dust off my alleged French, German and Italian cunning linguist skills.

Btw, where exactly is Tilburg? And, more to the point, which lower denomination English coins work in their cigarette machines and pool tables?

same here,
the concert it self is one thing but meeting some old friends is what I'm looking forward to.
I guess you'll have to bring a couple of Euro's with you if you wan't to buy anything Francis.

christophe wrote: same here,
the concert it self is one thing but meeting some old friends is what I'm looking forward to.

Same here!
Meeting old friends, putting faces to familiar names AND enjoying a Sisters gig at the same time, that's my fix...

Eva wrote:

christophe wrote: same here,
the concert it self is one thing but meeting some old friends is what I'm looking forward to.

Same here!
Meeting old friends, putting faces to familiar names AND enjoying a Sisters gig at the same time, that's my fix...

Well on that basis I may even put in an appearance myself

<goes off searching database to find a client in Tilburg who I absolutely MUST see in early August >