Limericks

[hallucienate]

while she was pushing out logs.

[Francis]

Oh yes! Sickeningly obscene, yet strangely appropriate given the landlard's faecal fetish. And a sly wink to the double meaning of 'bogs'.

There was a young man from the Dogs
Who met Colleen in the bogs
When all of a sudden
He slipped her a good 'un
While she was pushing out logs

Gentlemen, I salute you one and all.

[James Blast]

I'm not done yet...

in the land of the Nogs

[Francis]

An alternative ending is always a good money-spinner James.

In view of the outstanding success of our first project, I feel we're ready to move the the next stage of literary endeavour: the nonsense poem. (Also known as a Peter Gabriel lyric). To start:

The cokehead who has no nose
...

[hallucienate]

found it difficult to doze

[James Blast]

he pulled out an orange

[Francis]

It was funny the first time James.

[Izzy HaveMercy]

Well I started it, so I'm the editor:

There was a young man from the Dogs
Who met Colleen in the bogs
When all of a sudden
He slipped her a good 'un

Anyone got a punchline?

It still shows in the queer way he jogs.

IZ.

[doc P]

he pulled out an orange

and we know that there ain´t no rhyme to that one James
found it funny even the second time

[Izzy HaveMercy]

he pulled out an orange

and we know that there ain´t no rhyme to that one James
found it funny even the second time

He pulled out an orange,
Which took quite some courange...
He took it to the shooting range
For a thorough state change.

IZ.

[Francis]

Minge, hinge, impinge. Etcetera, etcetera.

[Scardwel]

There was a young man from Wood Green
Who invented a wanking machine
On the 55th stroke
The f**king thing broke
And whipped his bollocks to cream

[nick the stripper]

Tubby, tubby two by four
Couldn't get through the bathroom door
So she did it on the floor
Licked it up and did some more

[boudicca]

Well I started it, so I'm the editor:

There was a young man from the Dogs
Who met Colleen in the bogs
When all of a sudden
He slipped her a good 'un

Anyone got a punchline?

It still shows in the queer way he jogs.

IZ.

[scotty]

jack and jill went up the hill
so jack could lick jills f*nny
but jack got a shock
and a mouthfull of c*ck
when he found out jill was
a tranny!

[James Blast]

I predict a plate tectonic riot

in a lairy fashion, of course

[Dark]

Ah, Lewd Limericks.. someone get publishing rights at once.

[eastmidswhizzkid]

Well I started it, so I'm the editor:

There was a young man from the Dogs
Who met Colleen in the bogs
When all of a sudden
He slipped her a good 'un

Anyone got a punchline?

yeah,i preferred that line too

@at all of you posting on this thread whilst bored on a sunday afternoon for making me laugh on a boring sunday night

[eastmidswhizzkid]

so here's an oldie-but-goodie:

there was a young man from nantuckett,
whose dick was so long he could suck it.
he said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
"if my ear was a c**t, i could f**k it!"

[paint it black]

there was an old man called francis
who thought, yeah, i could do one of them dances

[Dark]

there was an old man called francis
who thought, yeah, i could do one of them dances

He heard Body Electric
His feet went hectic

[markfiend]

there was an old man called francis
who thought, yeah, i could do one of them dances
He heard Body Electric
His feet went hectic
As if the dance-floor was covered in antses.

[paint it black]

there was an old man called francis
who thought, yeah, i could do one of them dances
He heard Body Electric
His feet went hectic
As if the dance-floor was covered in antses.

very nice

he knew the risk
still slipped a disc

[Francis]

Fame at last!

[eastmidswhizzkid]

there was an old man called francis
who thought, yeah, i could do one of them dances
He heard Body Electric
His feet went hectic
As if the dance-floor was covered in antses.

very nice

he knew the risk
still slipped a disc

which quite put an end to his prances

or

and is forced to wear surgical pantses (if mark can get away with "antses")