Heartland

aw *hugs*

been there done that.
was married 11 years when i found myself single again at 34.
but i was never as happy as i am now, has been 3 years.
and i am getting married again in jan which i swore i wud never do again. so see things work out, time heals and umm you will get thru it cuz u can't go around it.
best of luck

it wasn't quite the same for me as i was the one doing the finishing...but after
eight years i don't think it males that much difference. when you've been through so much with someone who you've been in love with,breaking up just drags up all the s**t that never bothered you before.stuff it was worthwhile putting up with when balanced against the good things (which are temporarily forgotten,sometimes permanently. )
however it will get better -you will start going out on the pull again and meeting other women.(even if this experience has put you off relationships i doubt it will put you off sex.)
good luck,dude.we're all behind you.

That's a serious situation. When you start to talk about divorce... It happened to me in the beginning of this year. We were bloody serious but now it seems to me it was just the beginning of more serious things. Maybe I'm wrong but now it seems to me that our problem was that we had too high expetations, we both... It had seemed to both of us that after all kind of cr*p we had had through years we both found someone... nearly ideal in almost every respect. But when the first piece of the perfect puzzle fell down, all turned wrong. No such a trust anymore. Childish, isn't it? Don't know, maybe. I'm not a psychologist.
But the thing is that then everything turned more complicated. We haven't still divorced, although in the beginning of the year we had even fixed the certain day to go and do it. But we started a process we couldn't control anymore. More than 2 people have got hurt and could get more hurt. Maybe it's easier for those couples who have no children. We have one and we both love her. And she needs us both. I feel it.
Sounds pathetic? Yes, watching an Ingmar Bergman film is one thing, being a character of it is not a thing to be proud of.
I have never wanted to post such kind of things here and I will probably regret in the morning doing it.
But... I know - all this is not easy.
F*** - now I realised I'm 34 as well - is it a midlife crisis?

I am no doctor either and am writing this because of past experiences...
I come from divorced parents (I was six years at the time and my little sister four). One thing that divorce does is make the two parties involved bitter and lots of emotions come out over the years. Not all divorced people end up hating each other and I suppose it depends on the individual's own personality. Although when children are involved they do see and hear and understand more than the parents' maybe want them too BUT....as I have seen and being in a relationship, you should be happy. To make someone else happy, you have to feel it yourself. Communication keeps things going even in the *down-side* as every relationship does have it's *ups* and *downs*. When children are involved I can imagine that a break-up or divorce is the last thing people want to do because of the children, just do not under estimate the feelings that children can read *between the lines* if you wish. For those going through rough times in relationships *which ever ones* just remember yourself and what you want and what makes you happy. Good luck to all.