Give it to Debaser. Or Planet Dave.Brideoffrankenstein wrote:But it was orange - I would have thought you would have loved it!Obviousman wrote:One of the worst things ever given to me was a projection clock, with big clear orange letters for the time on it, and it projected the same... If there's one thing I can't stand when I'm trying to sleep it's anything that makes light (plus it was oversized and nearly took all of my bed-side table )
Worst Christmas Gifts
- boudicca
- Sister Midnight
- Posts: 7427
- Joined: 15 Sep 2004, 16:15
- Location: embrace the margin
- Contact:
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
- Brideoffrankenstein
- Overbomber
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: 15 Jan 2004, 01:51
I was sure that Obviousman liked orange as well you know....boudicca wrote:Give it to Debaser. Or Planet Dave.Brideoffrankenstein wrote:But it was orange - I would have thought you would have loved it!Obviousman wrote:One of the worst things ever given to me was a projection clock, with big clear orange letters for the time on it, and it projected the same... If there's one thing I can't stand when I'm trying to sleep it's anything that makes light (plus it was oversized and nearly took all of my bed-side table )
- eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9822
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
brown ankle socks with tasmanian devil motif and matching boxers....now that's what i call music eleventy-twelve....soft metal ("...it ain't heavy...")....beige lambswool jumpers from m&s.......wh smiths vouchers,every year for twenty years- what the f**k do wh smiths sell that you can't get cheaper elsewhere?
and of course slippers are always an utter treat -especially if they're comedy fluffy-bunny slippers.
and of course slippers are always an utter treat -especially if they're comedy fluffy-bunny slippers.
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
i think my familly have learned that i only accept music tokens for christmas...doesn't matter if it's HMV or Virgin...as soon as the sale kicks in...
clothes have been tried and failed...if it ain't black (and generally they don't have a clue what size i am so they tend to go with what they know)...it goes back
altho i do have a lovely line of black "Tigger" socks that i've kept...
clothes have been tried and failed...if it ain't black (and generally they don't have a clue what size i am so they tend to go with what they know)...it goes back
altho i do have a lovely line of black "Tigger" socks that i've kept...
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
What with the slippers, all he needs now is the pipe (which I can't help thinking would be misusedboudicca wrote:You receiving those is such a lovely mental image...eastmidswhizzkid wrote:beige lambswool jumpers from m&s
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
- eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9822
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
bong and slippers doesn't have the same effect really does it?
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
- Posts: 7090
- Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
- Location: Soon over Babaluma
- Contact:
I do like orange, but not when it's lighting up right next to where my head is as I'm trying to catch a sleepBrideoffrankenstein wrote:I was sure that Obviousman liked orange as well you know....boudicca wrote:Give it to Debaser. Or Planet Dave.Brideoffrankenstein wrote: But it was orange - I would have thought you would have loved it!
Anyway, passed it on to my parents, who made it even more annoying by only setting the projected time and not the time on the machine itself, which makes it blink constantly
- Mrs. Snowey
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 998
- Joined: 12 Mar 2004, 14:43
- Location: going nowhere. Fast.
Perry Comatoseeastmidswhizzkid wrote:bong and slippers doesn't have the same effect really does it?
Why do keyboards get so dirty?
- eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9822
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
very good, mrs sMrs. Snowey wrote:Perry Comatoseeastmidswhizzkid wrote:bong and slippers doesn't have the same effect really does it?
(i feel very annoyed that i didn't meet you and your husband at black oktober thus entitling myself to further displays of in-crowd-ness by calling you Heather and errrm....snowey. )
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
Not strictly relevant to this thread because a) it was by birthday and not Christmas, and b) it wasn't actually mine - much to my great relief! A parcel had arrived in the post on the morning of my 30th birthday, and because of the date, I didn't bother checking the address. I then took the parcel to my sister's house where I was having a party, and opened it in front of every female member of my family. Inside was:
1 latex mask
1 pair of cheap red crotchless knickers
1 female domination kit
1 other piece of cheap, ineffective tat (can't remember what) and
1 Magic Moments catalogue
It was only then that a friend informed me that the parcel belonged to my next door neighbour. He'd noticed before I opened it but he was curious to find out what was inside so he let me go ahead. To add to the ensuing uproar, my 11-year-old nephew had got hold of the latex mask and tried it on. I couldn't face delivering the opened parcel to my neighbour so I taped it shut and reposted in a postbox far away from our street. And I thought stuff like that only ever happened in comedies.
1 latex mask
1 pair of cheap red crotchless knickers
1 female domination kit
1 other piece of cheap, ineffective tat (can't remember what) and
1 Magic Moments catalogue
It was only then that a friend informed me that the parcel belonged to my next door neighbour. He'd noticed before I opened it but he was curious to find out what was inside so he let me go ahead. To add to the ensuing uproar, my 11-year-old nephew had got hold of the latex mask and tried it on. I couldn't face delivering the opened parcel to my neighbour so I taped it shut and reposted in a postbox far away from our street. And I thought stuff like that only ever happened in comedies.
- andymackem
- Slight Overbomber
- Posts: 1191
- Joined: 17 Dec 2003, 10:11
- Location: Darkest Durham
This year could be a vintage tat harvest for me: since I really can't think of anything that I want (not which could be viably purchased, wrapped and put under a tree, anyway) it all hinges on whether the family cheque will be larger or smaller than the (frankly unnecessary) amount I've already spent on gifts for my family.
This I don't mind, but it is a bit frustrating when you realise that no-one else in my family particularly wants anything either. The only people profitting from this are the post office and a few shops. It's an utter fiasco. I'm seriously considering refusing to give or accept christmas gifts in future. I could use the same money so much more effectively in the sales, and the birth of the son of a god I don't believe in just isn't all that significant to me.
This I don't mind, but it is a bit frustrating when you realise that no-one else in my family particularly wants anything either. The only people profitting from this are the post office and a few shops. It's an utter fiasco. I'm seriously considering refusing to give or accept christmas gifts in future. I could use the same money so much more effectively in the sales, and the birth of the son of a god I don't believe in just isn't all that significant to me.
Names are just a souvenir ...
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
Russian footie in the run-up to the World Cup - my latest E-book available from https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DGJFF6G
- snowey
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 841
- Joined: 18 Sep 2003, 14:20
- Location: Now retired.
Less of the "Husband" part, please......(anyone would think we were married )eastmidswhizzkid wrote:very good, mrs sMrs. Snowey wrote:Perry Comatoseeastmidswhizzkid wrote:bong and slippers doesn't have the same effect really does it?
(i feel very annoyed that i didn't meet you and your husband at black oktober thus entitling myself to further displays of in-crowd-ness by calling you Heather and errrm....snowey. )
- boudicca
- Sister Midnight
- Posts: 7427
- Joined: 15 Sep 2004, 16:15
- Location: embrace the margin
- Contact:
That's priceless! I'd have gone straight next door with the parcel though...Andrew S wrote:Not strictly relevant to this thread because a) it was by birthday and not Christmas, and b) it wasn't actually mine - much to my great relief! A parcel had arrived in the post on the morning of my 30th birthday, and because of the date, I didn't bother checking the address. I then took the parcel to my sister's house where I was having a party, and opened it in front of every female member of my family. Inside was:
1 latex mask
1 pair of cheap red crotchless knickers
1 female domination kit
1 other piece of cheap, ineffective tat (can't remember what) and
1 Magic Moments catalogue
It was only then that a friend informed me that the parcel belonged to my next door neighbour. He'd noticed before I opened it but he was curious to find out what was inside so he let me go ahead. To add to the ensuing uproar, my 11-year-old nephew had got hold of the latex mask and tried it on. I couldn't face delivering the opened parcel to my neighbour so I taped it shut and reposted in a postbox far away from our street. And I thought stuff like that only ever happened in comedies.
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets
- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
- Posts: 7090
- Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
- Location: Soon over Babaluma
- Contact:
Priceless indeedboudicca wrote:That's priceless! I'd have gone straight next door with the parcel though...Andrew S wrote:Not strictly relevant to this thread because a) it was by birthday and not Christmas, and b) it wasn't actually mine - much to my great relief! A parcel had arrived in the post on the morning of my 30th birthday, and because of the date, I didn't bother checking the address. I then took the parcel to my sister's house where I was having a party, and opened it in front of every female member of my family. Inside was:
1 latex mask
1 pair of cheap red crotchless knickers
1 female domination kit
1 other piece of cheap, ineffective tat (can't remember what) and
1 Magic Moments catalogue
It was only then that a friend informed me that the parcel belonged to my next door neighbour. He'd noticed before I opened it but he was curious to find out what was inside so he let me go ahead. To add to the ensuing uproar, my 11-year-old nephew had got hold of the latex mask and tried it on. I couldn't face delivering the opened parcel to my neighbour so I taped it shut and reposted in a postbox far away from our street. And I thought stuff like that only ever happened in comedies.
And why didn't you just let the nephew have the mask to play with, guess you could have had quite a laugh (of course if the parents wouldn't want to kill you then, or perhaps even more then )
-
- Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 233
- Joined: 20 Apr 2004, 15:56
This is priceless, top stuff. I would have taken it next door with a big grin.Andrew S wrote:Not strictly relevant to this thread because a) it was by birthday and not Christmas, and b) it wasn't actually mine - much to my great relief! A parcel had arrived in the post on the morning of my 30th birthday, and because of the date, I didn't bother checking the address. I then took the parcel to my sister's house where I was having a party, and opened it in front of every female member of my family. Inside was:
1 latex mask
1 pair of cheap red crotchless knickers
1 female domination kit
1 other piece of cheap, ineffective tat (can't remember what) and
1 Magic Moments catalogue
It was only then that a friend informed me that the parcel belonged to my next door neighbour. He'd noticed before I opened it but he was curious to find out what was inside so he let me go ahead. To add to the ensuing uproar, my 11-year-old nephew had got hold of the latex mask and tried it on. I couldn't face delivering the opened parcel to my neighbour so I taped it shut and reposted in a postbox far away from our street. And I thought stuff like that only ever happened in comedies.
But are there such things as classy red crotchless knickers?
That makes a changeAndrew S wrote: A parcel had arrived in the post
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
- Lynchfanatic
- Fire Walking Owl
- Posts: 575
- Joined: 05 Mar 2003, 04:50
- Location: Black lodge
- Contact:
They live in Aldersundet which is in Helgeland, one hour from Mo I Rana. So further north than Trondheim.Delilah wrote:Trondheim?Lofoten? I wanna move there! Or to Sweden. Still cannot decideLynchfanatic wrote: way up north norway)
No no no, I beg you on my knees, for your own sake, move to sweden. I would chose sweden, a year here and you would too It is currently -12 degrees celcius btw...
myspace.com/lynchfanatic
Well it was technically hand-delivered, as the postman personally handed it to me, so at least I knew who was to blame for this dreadful mix-up.scotty wrote:That makes a changeAndrew S wrote: A parcel had arrived in the post
I didn't know the neighbour in question, xo I didn't know how violently he might have reacted to my uncontrollable laughter. There have been at least 2 murders on my block since I've stayed here so I like to live a quiet life!straylight wrote: This is priceless, top stuff. I would have taken it next door with a big grin.
No but I imagine there would be some variation in the quality of material. And quality, these were not.straylight wrote: But are there such things as classy red crotchless knickers?
-
- Slight Overbomber
- Posts: 1732
- Joined: 16 Dec 2004, 01:02
- Location: Somewhere between Athens and Jerusalem.
- Contact:
I honestly can't say I've ever had a bad Christmas present.
- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
- Posts: 7090
- Joined: 22 Aug 2004, 12:14
- Location: Soon over Babaluma
- Contact:
The Latex Mask Serial Killer?Andrew S wrote:I didn't know the neighbour in question, xo I didn't know how violently he might have reacted to my uncontrollable laughter. There have been at least 2 murders on my block since I've stayed here so I like to live a quiet life!straylight wrote: This is priceless, top stuff. I would have taken it next door with a big grin.