The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Microcosmia
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EvilBastard wrote:
It's a sign for the treasure hunt that will form part of the "team building" activities at the inaugural MyHeartland Biscuit, Teacake, and Hot Beverage conference. Have you not received your invitation?
Will there be an official MyHeartland biscuit? I wonder if it might be one from this list https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category: ... ish_style)

(I never knew there was such a thing as a Funeral Biscuit :urff: )
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Swinnow
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A Fat Rascal is certainly not a biscuit.
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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UniversalRinging
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I dunno, I kinda like the funeral biscuit, aesthetically.

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EvilBastard
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Microcosmia wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:
It's a sign for the treasure hunt that will form part of the "team building" activities at the inaugural MyHeartland Biscuit, Teacake, and Hot Beverage conference. Have you not received your invitation?
Will there be an official MyHeartland biscuit? I wonder if it might be one from this list https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category: ... ish_style)

(I never knew there was such a thing as a Funeral Biscuit :urff: )
Naturally there will be an official MyHeartland biscuit - what kind of fly-by-night operation do you think we're running?! Based on the feedback received, it will be like a digestive but with a garibaldi DQ (Dunking Quotient, since you asked), covered on one side (the top, not the bottom. No, I don't care what McVities says - clearly the chocolatey bit is the top) with a special blend of dark chocolate formulated by the Swiss master-choclatiers SigSauer, who have perfected a weapons-grade, desert-approved recipe that allows the chocolate to be dunked in tea of up to 1320 degrees celsius with only minimal meltage. Baked into the biscuit will be the old-style Merciful Release logo, with the letters M & H placed either side. We have been testing the biscuits rigorously over the past several weeks and can vouch for their excellence.
They will be served during all refreshment periods and break-out sessions, and will also be for sale in the conference foyer.

And anyone who mentions certain other bands which may or may not have formed post their members' association with :von: will be forced to squat on a Custard Cream for the remainder of the conference. You have been warned.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
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iesus
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Down here in the south along the mediterranean we have funeral cakes not biscuits :lol:
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
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Microcosmia
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EvilBastard wrote:
Microcosmia wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:
It's a sign for the treasure hunt that will form part of the "team building" activities at the inaugural MyHeartland Biscuit, Teacake, and Hot Beverage conference. Have you not received your invitation?
Will there be an official MyHeartland biscuit? I wonder if it might be one from this list https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category: ... ish_style)

(I never knew there was such a thing as a Funeral Biscuit :urff: )
Naturally there will be an official MyHeartland biscuit - what kind of fly-by-night operation do you think we're running?! Based on the feedback received, it will be like a digestive but with a garibaldi DQ (Dunking Quotient, since you asked), covered on one side (the top, not the bottom. No, I don't care what McVities says - clearly the chocolatey bit is the top) with a special blend of dark chocolate formulated by the Swiss master-choclatiers SigSauer, who have perfected a weapons-grade, desert-approved recipe that allows the chocolate to be dunked in tea of up to 1320 degrees celsius with only minimal meltage. Baked into the biscuit will be the old-style Merciful Release logo, with the letters M & H placed either side. We have been testing the biscuits rigorously over the past several weeks and can vouch for their excellence.
They will be served during all refreshment periods and break-out sessions, and will also be for sale in the conference foyer.

And anyone who mentions certain other bands which may or may not have formed post their members' association with :von: will be forced to squat on a Custard Cream for the remainder of the conference. You have been warned.

I should never have doubted it :lol:
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Microcosmia
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iesus wrote:Down here in the south along the mediterranean we have funeral cakes not biscuits :lol:
Apparently there are "Dead Cakes" in parts of Europe, with the image of the deceased on them, which mourners are encouraged to consume as a sort of communion/remembrance ritual
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iesus
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Microcosmia wrote:
iesus wrote:Down here in the south along the mediterranean we have funeral cakes not biscuits :lol:
Apparently there are "Dead Cakes" in parts of Europe, with the image of the deceased on them, which mourners are encouraged to consume as a sort of communion/remembrance ritual
Nope, no portraits on them. They are usually round brioche like with no sketches and sweet. I always liked them. They taste great.
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
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Charlie
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So today i have reached a new low in tea making and have managed to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Never mind does the milk go before the tea or after, somehow i have just put a teabag into a pint of milk. :eek:

What is going on with my brain today i have no idea! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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iesus
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Anarchists biscuits
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'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
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markfiend
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:lol: :lol: :notworthy:
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mh
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Ahh, but are After Eights biscuits?

(ducks!)
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
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Pista
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mh wrote:Ahh, but are After Eights biscuits?

(ducks!)
Waffer thin mints.
N'est pas?

:innocent:
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Steve
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markfiend
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They're certainly not ducks.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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Pista
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Hey guys. You know what day it is today right?
Cheers.
Steve
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emilystrange
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i haven't got any in the house!
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
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Pista
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emilystrange wrote:i haven't got any in the house!
eek! :eek:
I have a bumper supply of peanut butter Oreos :D
Cheers.
Steve
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Charlie
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Pista wrote:Hey guys. You know what day it is today right?
Let the dunking commence! 8)


And to celebrate biscuit history, here's Jane Asher in a chocolate dress

:lol: :lol:
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emilystrange
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bum.
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Pista
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Charlie wrote:
Pista wrote:Hey guys. You know what day it is today right?
Let the dunking commence! 8)


And to celebrate biscuit history, here's Jane Asher in a chocolate dress

:lol: :lol:
She's eating that biscuit upside down!
Cheers.
Steve
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Charlie
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Pista wrote:
Charlie wrote:
Pista wrote:Hey guys. You know what day it is today right?
Let the dunking commence! 8)


And to celebrate biscuit history, here's Jane Asher in a chocolate dress

:lol: :lol:
She's eating that biscuit upside down!
Noooo!
We must rise up against this chocolate bottom nonsense! :lol: :lol:
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iesus
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Chocolate or in other cases syrup must be on the upper side when eating it and put it in your mouth cause the taste sensors of sweetness lie on the upper side of mouth mostly.
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
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Charlie
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iesus wrote:Chocolate or in other cases syrup must be on the upper side when eating it and put it in your mouth cause the taste sensors of sweetness lie on the upper side of mouth mostly.
Indeed!

This thread is now officially in danger of becoming The Great Heartland Erotic Biscuit thread :D :twisted: :D
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emilystrange
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the surprise is only that it took so long!
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EvilBastard
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Charlie wrote:This thread is now officially in danger of becoming The Great Heartland Erotic Biscuit thread :D :twisted: :D
And I think we've hit on the name for the tour/album...
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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