Which is your favourite Jesus?
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paint it black
- Black, black, black & even blacker
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Creaming of course
Goths have feelings too
Can I mention Spacemen 3 again? Oh go on...
Jesus died for my sins
Lord look at the state I'm in
I look alright but I'm f--ked within
Can't go through it all again
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
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9while9
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I like this one >
He Plays Bloody Good Geetar!
He Plays Bloody Good Geetar!
"An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn't know why they choose him and he's usually too busy to wonder why." - William Faulkner
-Me, I'm inspired by my DarkAngel.
-Me, I'm inspired by my DarkAngel.
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bushman*pm
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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weebleswobble wrote:
one day ALL vehicles (including motorbikes!) will be powered by these mighty V8 engines!
that one's a right treat, cheers!
top avatar too!
LAND ROVER: THE BEAST FOUR BY FOUR BY FEAR! KICKS THE ARSE OFF RICEBURNERS!
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9while9
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What's this "chicken oriental"?markfiend wrote:Isn't he completely chicken oriental though?
Is that some new slang you kids are using today.......
"An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn't know why they choose him and he's usually too busy to wonder why." - William Faulkner
-Me, I'm inspired by my DarkAngel.
-Me, I'm inspired by my DarkAngel.
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bushman*pm
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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akshewalley, it should be 'Radio Rental' !markfiend wrote:Aye, rhyming slang - chicken oriental = mental
Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 9:00 pm Post subject:
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Creaming of course
'get away from her you bitch' ?
LAND ROVER: THE BEAST FOUR BY FOUR BY FEAR! KICKS THE ARSE OFF RICEBURNERS!
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eastmidswhizzkid
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Obviously the nail-up-a-(celebrity)-hippy-day jesus is my personal fave as i'm sure there were innumerable uninteresting illegitimate commoners born in sheds around the world all the time in those days;- but very few people can claim to have died in excruciating agony (and i'd wager a fair amount of personal doubt) for the as-yet uncommitted sins of billions of as-yet unconceived men and women to save their souls from an unspecified something in the frankly vague name of an as-yet unsubstantiated by any evidence whatsoever deity....or as the official roman charge-sheet stated "running around shooting his mouth off in a dress". 
ps. a question for all those of you who can count: nailed up on a friday and baked until brown-bread roman-style; rose again on the third day....in time for the pub on easter sunday??
even allowing for the possibility that he didn't last very long and was dead before midnight friday that's still all within 48 hours of "one cross each, line on the right..." etc.
perhaps as the wine-addled disciples seem to have lost (in no particular order) the body of the boss, the sense of occassion (good friday? some mates you got there jesu'!), and their sense of direction (do you know how far it is from aramathea to glastonbury? only to arrive there without a wristband?) is it possible they also lost an entire day when they came to foggily write it all down? am i owed 36 exra chocky-egg eating days to compensate for being forced to stay sober all-weekend once a year by nationwide empty cash-machines?
pps. and where did jesus go for those couple/three days? did he go to heaven/hell/hemel hempstead as is "promised " by his religious faith? surely he would want a few words with his old man about his spectacular failure to rescue him? some half-decent excuse so he wouldn't look too much of a twat when he zombied it up to his mates.
perhaps thats what lead to the rather ostentatious thing with the ascension :
"look son i know i dropped you right in it with the boys there -'ow do you fancy a massively public display of being taken up to make up for it?"
or maybe he went on a "fantastic voyage" style adventure holiday: experiencing travelling through the inside of people's stomach's, veins, livers and arseholes as a peculiar side effect of transsubstantiating himself from their hovis and cabernet sauvignon?
answers on veronicas veil please....
ps. a question for all those of you who can count: nailed up on a friday and baked until brown-bread roman-style; rose again on the third day....in time for the pub on easter sunday??
even allowing for the possibility that he didn't last very long and was dead before midnight friday that's still all within 48 hours of "one cross each, line on the right..." etc.
perhaps as the wine-addled disciples seem to have lost (in no particular order) the body of the boss, the sense of occassion (good friday? some mates you got there jesu'!), and their sense of direction (do you know how far it is from aramathea to glastonbury? only to arrive there without a wristband?) is it possible they also lost an entire day when they came to foggily write it all down? am i owed 36 exra chocky-egg eating days to compensate for being forced to stay sober all-weekend once a year by nationwide empty cash-machines?
pps. and where did jesus go for those couple/three days? did he go to heaven/hell/hemel hempstead as is "promised " by his religious faith? surely he would want a few words with his old man about his spectacular failure to rescue him? some half-decent excuse so he wouldn't look too much of a twat when he zombied it up to his mates.
perhaps thats what lead to the rather ostentatious thing with the ascension :
"look son i know i dropped you right in it with the boys there -'ow do you fancy a massively public display of being taken up to make up for it?"
or maybe he went on a "fantastic voyage" style adventure holiday: experiencing travelling through the inside of people's stomach's, veins, livers and arseholes as a peculiar side effect of transsubstantiating himself from their hovis and cabernet sauvignon?
answers on veronicas veil please....
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
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markfiend
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God sacrificed himself to himself to save us from himself.
Go figure.
Go figure.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
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eastmidswhizzkid
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been listening to sonic attack hadn't he? "think only of yourself..."
i love sonic attack -THERE WILL BE BLEEDING FROM ORIFICES!!
i love sonic attack -THERE WILL BE BLEEDING FROM ORIFICES!!
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
So that explains my bout of indigestion last night!!!eastmidswhizzkid wrote:or maybe he went on a "fantastic voyage" style adventure holiday: experiencing travelling through the inside of people's stomach's, veins, livers and arseholes as a peculiar side effect of transsubstantiating himself from their hovis and cabernet sauvignon?
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
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markfiend
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eastmidswhizzkid wrote:...transsubstantiating himself from their hovis and cabernet sauvignon?
Do you think that many Christians realise that their communion is symbolic cannibalism?
(Actually I think that the Roman Catholic Church still holds that the bread and wine literally turn into the body and blood, so for them it's not just symbolic...)
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
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nick the stripper
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The original Jesus: Mithra.
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eastmidswhizzkid
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that's right -the miracle of transsubstantiation means that when it enters your stomach the host actually becomes the physical flesh of the son of god!?!1.markfiend wrote:eastmidswhizzkid wrote:...transsubstantiating himself from their hovis and cabernet sauvignon?
Do you think that many Christians realise that their communion is symbolic cannibalism?
(Actually I think that the Roman Catholic Church still holds that the bread and wine literally turn into the body and blood, so for them it's not just symbolic...)
surely this is the way to put an end to all the bleatings of unbelieving heretics and "scientists" who refuse to accept the perfectly plausible truths handed down to us by learned men ? [/heavy sarcasm]
simply remove a sample of the universe's supreme lord and creator's only son (by a virgin, through an angel ferfukksakes) and clone the bastard!
.....then nail him up again for old times' sake!
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
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boudicca
- Sister Midnight
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Gawd Lee we missed you! 
I seem to recall we've touched on the matter of transubstantiation before, Mark...markfiend wrote:eastmidswhizzkid wrote:...transsubstantiating himself from their hovis and cabernet sauvignon?
Do you think that many Christians realise that their communion is symbolic cannibalism?
(Actually I think that the Roman Catholic Church still holds that the bread and wine literally turn into the body and blood, so for them it's not just symbolic...)
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timsinister
- The Oncoming Storm
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You went and found it?
Moving on!
Moving on!
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markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
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Blimey! You can't type anything on here without someone reading it!
You can't type anything on here without someone reading it!The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
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MadameButterfly
- HL's mystical safekeeper
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My favourite Jesus is the surfer.
it's all about circles and spirals
that ongoing eternity
that ongoing eternity
Still my favourite:
Scotty, another few " "s for that!
Scotty, another few "
"s for that!
What a sh*tty hollyday..eastmidswhizzkid wrote:..or maybe he went on a "fantastic voyage" style adventure holiday: experiencing travelling through the inside of people's stomach's, veins, livers and arseholes as a peculiar side effect of transsubstantiating himself from their hovis and cabernet sauvignon?
Another quote like that and I´ll include you as one of my heroes!markfiend wrote:God sacrificed himself to himself to save us from himself.
Go figure.
There is shadow under this red rock
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davedecay
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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found a new one:
have some fun here as well:
http://jesusdressup.com/
and here
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/swearingjesus.html
hello jesus!
this one's off the hook... NSFW
http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/3484 ... ist7ct.gif
have some fun here as well:
http://jesusdressup.com/
and here
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/swearingjesus.html
hello jesus!
this one's off the hook... NSFW
http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/3484 ... ist7ct.gif
Ahem..........post 11davedecay wrote:found a new one:
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
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ormfdmrush
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my favourite Christ is Benowild bill buttock wrote:The happy,sweet Christmas Baby Jesusor the sad Easter Jesus
?