Heartland

Episkopos wrote:- on a related note, abolish single sex schools. Seriously. They do no harm to outgoing kids with lives outside academia, but sad little nerdlings like me get set back years.

Seriously, don't. The poor confused boys, who aren't getting proper education on the kind of sex they'll actually end up having, need a good supply of equally confused, desperate boys with whom to work things out for themselves without any of this interfering "skirt" stuff. Seriously.

I take it this means that I respectfully disagree with Maisey and Korin

Hom_Corleone wrote: So...you work with Tims sister and Tims sister is Jade Goody.

Bloody Oi!

And to think I wished you luck on your Interview! I hope a building falls on your head now, you rude person.

Of course the one true glaring item on the curriculum that was missing is of course the lengthy, confusing and much debated subject of....Women!

As a wide eyed tiny scouser back in the day - how I would of loved just one sit down lecture from a wise old learned sage on the much maligned and often misunderstood creature that is..Woman. For instance;There many emotional 'changes' , their meticulous thought process for everything irrational and sometimes rational. This fabled 'female intuition' a sort of sixth and in some cases seventh sense they all appear to possess.

The language barrier that has eluded men from the dawn of time. The answers to so many questions ;

!) Does this make my arse look fat?

2) Is she prettier than me?

3) Was that better than your last girlfriend ?

If only we'd been taught how to respond to such easy questions, imagine for one moment how so many times in your life would of been that little bit much easier and with less bruising and dare I say it...quieter.

Women; you can't live with them and you can't live with out them. I just wish sometimes I'd had a manual on them and read it from cover to cover.

*Sigh*

Ramone wrote:Of course the one true glaring item on the curriculum that was missing is of course the lengthy, confusing and much debated subject of....Women!

As a wide eyed tiny scouser back in the day - how I would of loved just one sit down lecture from a wise old learned sage on the much maligned and often misunderstood creature that is..Woman. For instance;There many emotional 'changes' , their meticulous thought process for everything irrational and sometimes rational. This fabled 'female intuition' a sort of sixth and in some cases seventh sense they all appear to possess.

The language barrier that has eluded men from the dawn of time. The answers to so many questions ;

!) Does this make my arse look fat?

2) Is she prettier than me?

3) Was that better than your last girlfriend ?

If only we'd been taught how to respond to such easy questions, imagine for one moment how so many times in your life would of been that little bit much easier and with less bruising and dare I say it...quieter.

Women; you can't live with them and you can't live with out them. I just wish sometimes I'd had a manual on them and read it from cover to cover.

*Sigh*

We have the mighty Al Bundy for that.

Al Bundy Indeed

and not forgetting the very delectable Ms. Kelly Bundy

"would of" is it a Scouse thing?

James Blast wrote:"would of" is it a Scouse thing?

Nothing worse than parochial-isms, is there James?

Shuttit ya numpty!

how to skin up properly
and
how to open tetra-packs of milk without getting it all over you

Motz wrote:An A Level in formal logic and the scientific method certainly wouldn't go amiss. And it should be a requirement for humanities students if they want to be allowed to have discussions with the grown ups -_-;

def we live in a world dominated by 'the scientific method'
learning how to learn and handle factoids in this manner was sadly missing from my school ed.
i only found its value at Uni, doing History and Philosophy of Science

Hydroponics.

Oh, and well said Francis, most sensible answer yet

Planet Dave wrote:

markfiend wrote:

Episkopos wrote:abolish single sex schools. Seriously. They do no harm to outgoing kids with lives outside academia, but sad little nerdlings like me get set back years.

And me.

Don't worry about it boys, I went to a mixed thingy school and came out a sad little nerdling.

Ahh, but were you one before you went in? And can you talk to girls?


I can't decide if Motz is taking the p*ss or not...

Probably not.

Personally, I hate the concept of single-sex schools, single-religion schools, etc.

Probably not.

@Motz

If your into confused boys and desperate young men read "Moab is my washpot" by Stephen Fry. Its an excellent insight into exactly what your decribing.

No p*ss taking, merely a fairly accurate description of "finding out the hard way".

Maisey: I'll look into it. And I'm now of the age where being into confused boys is illegal and have been fcuked over by enough desperate young men to know better. Now if only they would learn...

'Moab is my Washpot' is indeed an excellent read and I empathised with a great deal of it, especially his fondness for King Crimson.

King Crimson is not code BTW, it be Progressive Rock, Aaaarrrrr!

I to would find myself in trouble with the law should I decide to take advantage of the confusion of young boys, and I have no desire to be ravished by a desperate young (or old) man.

But I have found that Stephen Fry is an excellent writer.

2 book worth taking note of are "the liar" and "moab is my washpot". The Liar was his first novel and is largely autobiographical, which features his main character being generally dashing and procedeing to bugger his way through public school. The later is an actual autobiography that references 'the liar' at frequent intervals. It basically tells the same tail, but with a few home truths and personal admonissions added in.

My advice: If your into novels, read the liar, if your into Stephen Fry read Moab/both. If your into liturature which is an intellectual romp through education and sexuality, read both. It was because of the former that I picked up the Naked Lunch, which I am just finishing.

even 'The Hippopotamus' has it's moments, well I enjoyed reading it

take from that what you may...

I read the Liar hunners of years ago - was about 14 I think*, it was on a bookshelf in a hotel I was staying in on my holibobs...

...quite an eye-opener for a young Catholic girl

Stephen Fry is a national treasure IMHO . He should probably draw up the curriculum himself. Can't really judge him as an author though, as I haven't read anything by him since then...


*yes, old pharts, I know 9 years is but the blink of an eye when I get to YOUR AGE...

I do hope you watch QI dear Claire, because now that alarm noise is sounding and the screen is flashing 'a hotel'.
'an hotel' surely, my little fluffy Clairykins?
Certainly not a too penetrating a question, my dear child.

Well he could get away with it! Why can't I?

And you deserve a damn good thrashing with a rolled-up copy of the Radio Times for that 'Nat Treash' thing, my skinny little bunny-wunny.

Uncle Jam-es xXx

Purple Light wrote:We got one 1 hour lesson for sex ed during the whole 8 years or so I was there, in which a (clearly uncomfortable) female teacher pulled out a banana & put a condom on it. She then drew a few pictures on the blackboard & ordered us to draw them in our books.

I hope you remembered to ask her for purple crayons.

Andrew!

James Blast wrote:Andrew!

Don't tell me I've FINALLY managed to disgust you James. It's only taken me about 3 years.

Got "Moab is my Washpot" from the library today. It's looking good so far

Motz wrote:Got "Moab is my Washpot" from the library today. It's looking good so far

I got through Moab in a single 8-hour session.