Heartland

copper wrote:

sultan2075 wrote:

markfiend wrote: As you ask... £300 per guitarist per gig is a figure I've heard

Is it just me to does that seem low?

Depends.

Patsy said she was paid £300 a month in 1988.

That's around £780 today, as opposed a 20-date tour with ~£6.000 income before taxes.

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:...and i'd do it for me tea and drugs.

The Yorkshire Evenin' Pots wrote:Commodities traders and drug dealers are looking forward to bumper bonuses as Andrew Eldritch, Gnome of Darkness and frontman for dodgy 80s goff rock outfit Sisters Of Mercy, announces that Eddie Kincaid will be joining him for a 493-date tour of Leeds, Heckmondwike, and Chapel Allerton. Kincaid apparently offered to play guitar in return for "tea and drugs", precipitating a huge spike in the tea futures market and the Headingley branch of Boots stockpiling Benzedrine in its vast high-security warehouse in an undisclosed location.

Approached for comment Tristan Chinless, tea broker with top London firm The East India Trading Company, said, "It's bloody amazing. For years the price of tea on the futures market has been falling as a result of these bearded hipster chappies forking over money that they would otherwise have spent getting on the property ladder on vastly overpriced coffee beverages. But when announced that Eddie was going on tour with him the tea futures market exploded. Right now the forward price for a twice-brewed Aldi own-brand teabag is approximately that of 3 hospitals and a large hardon collider."

Retailers across the country reported stockpiling of both loose-leaf and bagged teas, while a fight broke out at the Chipping Norton branch of Sainbury's when Gladys Alsop, 83, chinned Mavis Frewitt (97) over the last box of PG Tips. Police are expecting to bring charges later today.

Meanwhile, in the gents toilets at the Phono, the storied Leeds club, the Bank of England has opened its first bullion strongroom outside of London to accommodate the vast amounts of gold that wraps of speed are now being traded for in the capital of God's Own County. Your reporter saw Oleg Kashinzki, Russian oligarch and former owner of Manchester United, try to trade his 173-metre luxury yacht crewed by Freemans Lingerie Catalogue models for "just a dab, man - come on, just a little taste," before being laughed out of the bogs. "Come back when you're serious!" yelled a cadaverously-thin, bald, goatee-sporting man wearing sunglasses.

Rumour has it that this anonymous individual has also purchased 17 Greggs and Dunkin Donut franchises in the area, fueling speculation that he is also on the lookout for a bass player to join the tour.

The Yorkshire Evenin' Pots wrote:Commodities traders and drug dealers are looking forward to bumper bonuses as Andrew Eldritch, Gnome of Darkness and frontman for dodgy 80s goff rock outfit Sisters Of Mercy, announces that Eddie Kincaid will be joining him for a 493-date tour of Leeds, Heckmondwike, and Chapel Allerton. Kincaid apparently offered to play guitar in return for "tea and drugs", precipitating a huge spike in the tea futures market and the Headingley branch of Boots stockpiling Benzedrine in its vast high-security warehouse in an undisclosed location.

Approached for comment Tristan Chinless, tea broker with top London firm The East India Trading Company, said, "It's bloody amazing. For years the price of tea on the futures market has been falling as a result of these bearded hipster chappies forking over money that they would otherwise have spent getting on the property ladder on vastly overpriced coffee beverages. But when announced that Eddie was going on tour with him the tea futures market exploded. Right now the forward price for a twice-brewed Aldi own-brand teabag is approximately that of 3 hospitals and a large hardon collider."

Retailers across the country reported stockpiling of both loose-leaf and bagged teas, while a fight broke out at the Chipping Norton branch of Sainbury's when Gladys Alsop, 83, chinned Mavis Frewitt (97) over the last box of PG Tips. Police are expecting to bring charges later today.

Meanwhile, in the gents toilets at the Phono, the storied Leeds club, the Bank of England has opened its first bullion strongroom outside of London to accommodate the vast amounts of gold that wraps of speed are now being traded for in the capital of God's Own County. Your reporter saw Oleg Kashinzki, Russian oligarch and former owner of Manchester United, try to trade his 173-metre luxury yacht crewed by Freemans Lingerie Catalogue models for "just a dab, man - come on, just a little taste," before being laughed out of the bogs. "Come back when you're serious!" yelled a cadaverously-thin, bald, goatee-sporting man wearing sunglasses.

Rumour has it that this anonymous individual has also purchased 17 Greggs and Dunkin Donut franchises in the area, fueling speculation that he is also on the lookout for a bass player to join the tour.

EvilBastard wrote:

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:...and i'd do it for me tea and drugs.

I can see the headlines now...

The Yorkshire Evenin' Pots wrote:Commodities traders and drug dealers are looking forward to bumper bonuses as Andrew Eldritch, Gnome of Darkness and frontman for dodgy 80s goff rock outfit Sisters Of Mercy, announces that Eddie Kincaid will be joining him for a 493-date tour of Leeds, Heckmondwike, and Chapel Allerton. Kincaid apparently offered to play guitar in return for "tea and drugs", precipitating a huge spike in the tea futures market and the Headingley branch of Boots stockpiling Benzedrine in its vast high-security warehouse in an undisclosed location.

Approached for comment Tristan Chinless, tea broker with top London firm The East India Trading Company, said, "It's bloody amazing. For years the price of tea on the futures market has been falling as a result of these bearded hipster chappies forking over money that they would otherwise have spent getting on the property ladder on vastly overpriced coffee beverages. But when announced that Eddie was going on tour with him the tea futures market exploded. Right now the forward price for a twice-brewed Aldi own-brand teabag is approximately that of 3 hospitals and a large hardon collider."

Retailers across the country reported stockpiling of both loose-leaf and bagged teas, while a fight broke out at the Chipping Norton branch of Sainbury's when Gladys Alsop, 83, chinned Mavis Frewitt (97) over the last box of PG Tips. Police are expecting to bring charges later today.

Meanwhile, in the gents toilets at the Phono, the storied Leeds club, the Bank of England has opened its first bullion strongroom outside of London to accommodate the vast amounts of gold that wraps of speed are now being traded for in the capital of God's Own County. Your reporter saw Oleg Kashinzki, Russian oligarch and former owner of Manchester United, try to trade his 173-metre luxury yacht crewed by Freemans Lingerie Catalogue models for "just a dab, man - come on, just a little taste," before being laughed out of the bogs. "Come back when you're serious!" yelled a cadaverously-thin, bald, goatee-sporting man wearing sunglasses.

Rumour has it that this anonymous individual has also purchased 17 Greggs and Dunkin Donut franchises in the area, fueling speculation that he is also on the lookout for a bass player to join the tour.

EvilBastard wrote:

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:...and i'd do it for me tea and drugs.

I can see the headlines now...

The Yorkshire Evenin' Pots wrote:Commodities traders and drug dealers are looking forward to bumper bonuses as Andrew Eldritch, Gnome of Darkness and frontman for dodgy 80s goff rock outfit Sisters Of Mercy, announces that Eddie Kincaid will be joining him for a 493-date tour of Leeds, Heckmondwike, and Chapel Allerton. Kincaid apparently offered to play guitar in return for "tea and drugs", precipitating a huge spike in the tea futures market and the Headingley branch of Boots stockpiling Benzedrine in its vast high-security warehouse in an undisclosed location.

Approached for comment Tristan Chinless, tea broker with top London firm The East India Trading Company, said, "It's bloody amazing. For years the price of tea on the futures market has been falling as a result of these bearded hipster chappies forking over money that they would otherwise have spent getting on the property ladder on vastly overpriced coffee beverages. But when announced that Eddie was going on tour with him the tea futures market exploded. Right now the forward price for a twice-brewed Aldi own-brand teabag is approximately that of 3 hospitals and a large hardon collider."

Retailers across the country reported stockpiling of both loose-leaf and bagged teas, while a fight broke out at the Chipping Norton branch of Sainbury's when Gladys Alsop, 83, chinned Mavis Frewitt (97) over the last box of PG Tips. Police are expecting to bring charges later today.

Meanwhile, in the gents toilets at the Phono, the storied Leeds club, the Bank of England has opened its first bullion strongroom outside of London to accommodate the vast amounts of gold that wraps of speed are now being traded for in the capital of God's Own County. Your reporter saw Oleg Kashinzki, Russian oligarch and former owner of Manchester United, try to trade his 173-metre luxury yacht crewed by Freemans Lingerie Catalogue models for "just a dab, man - come on, just a little taste," before being laughed out of the bogs. "Come back when you're serious!" yelled a cadaverously-thin, bald, goatee-sporting man wearing sunglasses.

Rumour has it that this anonymous individual has also purchased 17 Greggs and Dunkin Donut franchises in the area, fueling speculation that he is also on the lookout for a bass player to join the tour.