Posted: 01 Aug 2005, 18:36
**Update**
Had the bachelorette party and bridal shower last weekend. I decided that a lot of the suggestions here weren't believable enough, so at the last moment I told the bride that I'd been kidnapped by the Rat King and that he wouldn't let me go to either party unless he was paid 30 kilos of smoked Gouda. For some reason she thought I was joking, so I paid the ransom myself and attended both shindigs. Two words, my friends: Never again. But at least I have something to remember these festive occasions by, in the form of a great big oozing burn on my left forearm from the marathon baking session I performed to feed 45 people.
To make matters worse, the first thing the bride said to me at the bridal shower was, "You look thinner." Thinner? Here I've been eating everything in sight in an attempt to gain three stone by October so I can't fit into any of my dresses and I can p*ss everyone off, and she thinks I look thinner?! That bitch.
Had the bachelorette party and bridal shower last weekend. I decided that a lot of the suggestions here weren't believable enough, so at the last moment I told the bride that I'd been kidnapped by the Rat King and that he wouldn't let me go to either party unless he was paid 30 kilos of smoked Gouda. For some reason she thought I was joking, so I paid the ransom myself and attended both shindigs. Two words, my friends: Never again. But at least I have something to remember these festive occasions by, in the form of a great big oozing burn on my left forearm from the marathon baking session I performed to feed 45 people.
To make matters worse, the first thing the bride said to me at the bridal shower was, "You look thinner." Thinner? Here I've been eating everything in sight in an attempt to gain three stone by October so I can't fit into any of my dresses and I can p*ss everyone off, and she thinks I look thinner?! That bitch.
