Heartland

None of those here:
http://teamrock.com/feature/2015-10-29/ ... hs-grow-up

I demand to be put on the Gothic Valley WI's "Calendar Girl" mailing list!!!!

Let's not quibble about who wrote a poem about Erdogan having sex with a goat & let's focus instead on my wonderful, fully functioning Turkish-made washing machine

Pista wrote:Let's not quibble about who wrote a poem about Erdogan having sex with a goat & let's focus instead on my wonderful, fully functioning Turkish-made washing machine

christ, the man's a buffoon. like steve jone's says, "if you look like an arsehole and you talk like an arsehole then you're an arsehole."

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:

Pista wrote:Let's not quibble about who wrote a poem about Erdogan having sex with a goat & let's focus instead on my wonderful, fully functioning Turkish-made washing machine

christ, the man's a buffoon. like steve jone's says, "if you look like an arsehole and you talk like an arsehole then you're an arsehole."

Aye. He really does justify this doesn't he?

Indian police have taken the pigeon into custody

Pista wrote:Indian police have taken the pigeon into custody

oh my...

Police in Dundee appeal to the public for information on why did the chicken cross the road?

iesus wrote:Not the Cats....

i know theyve still not worked out that 49 virgns divided by eternity doesn't go but outlawing pussy is surely promoting man-love, which is haram.

iesus wrote:VirginWife.vs."Anaconda"

i have no sympathy for anyone that well-endowed who hasnt thanked his lucky stars and gone into porn.

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:

iesus wrote:VirginWife.vs."Anaconda"

i have no sympathy for anyone that well-endowed who hasnt thanked his lucky stars and gone into porn.

Reminds me of my father's brother, William. Family legend has it that he was getting amorous with our neighbour who, upon seeing his immense appendage, confused it with a legless reptile and assaulted it with a garden implement, thereby reducing its length by almost 50%.

a subtractor rather than an adder?

Rather than the neighbour maybe he would have been better off with a hoe.

a hoe would have just left him feeling all fore-lawn........i'll get me coat.
.

Seems the Galaxy Nope 7 has a use after all

EvilBastard wrote:Man waits 11 hours for a cup of tea.

Saw this in the evening standard & my first thought was, "What the hell is a wi-fi kettle?"

Pista wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:Man waits 11 hours for a cup of tea.

Saw this in the evening standard & my first thought was, "What the hell is a wi-fi kettle?"

What's a wi-fi kettle? Easy: "Wife, I want a cup of tea - go put the kettle on."

Leonard Cohen: 'I am ready to die'

The big change is the proximity to death. I am a tidy kind of guy. I like to tie up the strings if I can. If I can’t, that’s OK. But my natural thrust is to finish things that I’ve begun.

So by that logic, has to be ready to die before we get a new album?

EvilBastard wrote:Man waits 11 hours for a cup of tea.

XKCD predicted the future again - this from a couple of weeks ago:

Is it true that 5 pounds can play vinyl records ?

*Edit - Another one!!!

iesus wrote:Is it true that 5 pounds can play vinyl records ?

*Edit - Another one!!!

It is indeed. & there was us seeing reports that the British currency was now next to useless.
Apparently the fiver was downgraded to a fourer

What if only goats voted in the US presidential election?

Or goths?