Heartland

Posted: **27 Jan 2021, 12:14**

Who cares about vaccine blockades, countless dead, Mount Merapi erupting, Kellyanne Conway posting child pron (of her own daughter) on social media, protests in Russia, riots in Holland, & Chinese miners being rescued? Fcuk all that! Bonnie Tyler's learnt how to swim!

Posted: **27 Jan 2021, 18:25**

Posted: **28 Jan 2021, 10:34**

If you're disqualified from driving, taking your family to do their grocery shopping in a second hand ambulance with the lights flashing might draw attention.

Posted: **28 Jan 2021, 16:56**

watching this is hypnotic and strangely soothing

Posted: **28 Jan 2021, 21:22**

if "riots in Holland" and "taken dildo down from bookcase?" were in the same sentence all would be good here.

Posted: **29 Jan 2021, 14:26**

Alanis Morissette to the white courtesy phone please

Posted: **30 Jan 2021, 14:00**

....with helpful picture of what a 7' humanoid mantis might look like

Posted: **01 Feb 2021, 12:16**

Gas station robbery has a happy ending

Posted: **02 Feb 2021, 10:01**

How very dare they move stuff to a different aisle? I will never shop there again!

Posted: **03 Feb 2021, 11:17**

Behind you!

Posted: **04 Feb 2021, 14:06**

Texas public safety officials issue amber alert for ...*shakes magic 8-ball*... Glen. Seed of Chucky

Posted: **06 Feb 2021, 08:23**

If it's a referral centre for sexual assault, please call it a Sexual Assault Referral Centre. Calling it a Sexual Assault Centre makes it sound...well, just wrong.

Posted: **06 Feb 2021, 08:43**

EvilBastard wrote: ↑06 Feb 2021, 08:23 If it's a referral centre for sexual assault, please call it a Sexual Assault Referral Centre. Calling it a Sexual Assault Centre makes it sound...well, just wrong.
[/quote
presumably you can enrol on a Sexual Assault Course! like the Krypton Fuckedher

Posted: **06 Feb 2021, 12:42**

The Turd Reich

Posted: **07 Feb 2021, 16:54**

Get in now while stocks last. Exclusive Valentine's offer from San Antonio Zoo.

Posted: **09 Feb 2021, 10:37**

For 10,000 yen plus expenses for travels and means, Shoji Morimoto offers nothing in particular

Posted: **10 Feb 2021, 14:10**

Oh nothing. Just a woman pushing a 40ft truck up a hill

Posted: **10 Feb 2021, 14:13**

Pista wrote: ↑10 Feb 2021, 14:10 Oh nothing. Just a woman pushing a 40ft truck up a hill

If only it was an Irn Bru lorry

Posted: **11 Feb 2021, 10:33**

Farcebook blocks photo of cow for being...*checks notes*... overtly sexual.

Posted: **12 Feb 2021, 08:52**

Scenes of devastation in Stoke. With helpful photos of what passes for devastation in Stoke

Posted: **14 Feb 2021, 11:17**

The Peak District hits peak news as it reaches peak gate

Posted: **15 Feb 2021, 15:01**

Wired gives us the crucial information we all needed. How to have a meaningful video chat with your dog

Posted: **17 Feb 2021, 10:05**

PSA: If you put your home on the market, remember off-duty police officers sometimes go house hunting too

Posted: **18 Feb 2021, 12:49**

Wanted man hands himself into police because he didn't want to spend any more time in lockdown with the people he lives with.

Posted: **19 Feb 2021, 09:56**

Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.

Heartland

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