The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

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markfiend
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Pista wrote:
markfiend wrote:Scone.
fastest cake in the shop. :D
That joke doesn't work for me. I was brought up with pronouncing it skoʊn (rhymes with cone) rather than the more usual skɒn (s'gone).

https://brilliantmaps.com/scone-map/
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EvilBastard
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markfiend wrote:
Pista wrote:
markfiend wrote:Scone.
fastest cake in the shop. :D
That joke doesn't work for me. I was brought up with pronouncing it skoʊn (rhymes with cone) rather than the more usual skɒn (s'gone).

https://brilliantmaps.com/scone-map/
It's got to be "S-cone" otherwise the joke about Great British Bake-Off being renamed Game of Scones doesn't work.
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Yorkshire tea seems to be doing dunk tests on the twitters
Our landmark series "Does it Dunk?" launches in 2 weeks! Here's what the critics are saying:

"Game of Thrones meets Paw Patrol" - Radio Times

"It's got a science man in it like Breaking Bad" - Empire

"The video is an oblong, which is my best shape after triangles!" - The Sun

Ginger Nuts

Custard Creams



:lol:
Cheers.
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Pista wrote:Yorkshire tea seems to be doing dunk tests on the twitters
Our landmark series "Does it Dunk?" launches in 2 weeks! Here's what the critics are saying:

"Game of Thrones meets Paw Patrol" - Radio Times

"It's got a science man in it like Breaking Bad" - Empire

"The video is an oblong, which is my best shape after triangles!" - The Sun

Ginger Nuts

Custard Creams



:lol:
At last some Ginger Nut love!
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Tinker
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I love a ginger nut. There's always one packet open and one on standby.
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Charlie
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For me, the biscuit that improves the most on dunking is definitely the Ginger nut, i don't eat them on their own, they HAVE to be dunked! ;D
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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I'm sensing the start of a subgroup of Hearlanders who love ginger nuts.
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Tinker
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When I was little, before the tea addiction, I used to dunk them in my orange squash.
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iesus
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To be fair, that guy didn't dunk the custard cream one, he bathed it for too much hour :lol: :lol: :lol:
with only two dunks custard cream is fine ;D
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iesus wrote:To be fair, that guy didn't dunk the custard cream one, he bathed it for too much hour :lol: :lol: :lol:
with only two dunks custard cream is fine ;D
But he's a scientist.
Yorkshire Tea wrote:"It's got a science man in it like Breaking Bad" - Empire
:D
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iesus
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Pista wrote: But he's a scientist.
Yeah, i know that costume looks :lol: ;D
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:lol:
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emilystrange
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can someone bring me some TUC biscuits?
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EvilBastard
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:I'm sensing the start of a subgroup of Hearlanders who love ginger nuts.
Not On My Watch.
No no no no no no no no no.

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splintered thing
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:I'm sensing the start of a subgroup of Hearlanders who love ginger nuts.
FWIW I don't mind a ginger nut... we had a bit of a kerfuffle here a few years ago when folk realised there were DIFFERENT ginger nuts available :lol: :lol:

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-20/ ... ia/8533136

Being from Victoria, I can confirm these are very similar to the UK version ;)
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Apparently there's a guy with a shop with on the Irish border who's stockpiled thousands of packets of custard creams in case there is a hard Biscuit, sorry I mean Brexit. :eek:
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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abridged wrote:Apparently there's a guy with a shop with on the Irish border who's stockpiled thousands of packets of custard creams in case there is a hard Biscuit, sorry I mean Brexit. :eek:
Custard creams!?!? Why?
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Custard creams!?!? Why?
This, from the person who loves Ginger Nuts?! You lot, the Custard Cream people, those who favour the Jammy Dodger, the Nice aficionados, anyone who thinks that Lincolns are in any way, shape, or form acceptable examples of the biscuitier's art, the milk chocolate HobNob brigade - I'm warning you now, putting you on notice, that there will be nowhere for you to hide come the day when She shall again walk among us with Her Teatray Of Ineffable Wrath, judging the quick, the dead, and those who put the milk in before removing the teabag. Repent, my brothers and sisters, before it is too late!
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:
abridged wrote:Apparently there's a guy with a shop with on the Irish border who's stockpiled thousands of packets of custard creams in case there is a hard Biscuit, sorry I mean Brexit. :eek:
Custard creams!?!? Why?
It seems that all the custard creams in the UK (possibly the world?) are made in Birmingham and if there was a hard Biscuit, sorry Brexit, they would have to cross the Irish border a couple of times so the price would go up. So as far as I know this guy though if I sell them cheaper...it does sound very strange. Now if it were Bourbons...
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EvilBastard wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Custard creams!?!? Why?
This, from the person who loves Ginger Nuts?! You lot, the Custard Cream people, those who favour the Jammy Dodger, the Nice aficionados, anyone who thinks that Lincolns are in any way, shape, or form acceptable examples of the biscuitier's art, the milk chocolate HobNob brigade - I'm warning you now, putting you on notice, that there will be nowhere for you to hide come the day when She shall again walk among us with Her Teatray Of Ineffable Wrath, judging the quick, the dead, and those who put the milk in before removing the teabag. Repent, my brothers and sisters, before it is too late!
What will happen to the Dunkers? I figure the fiery pits of perdition for them! :twisted:
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Tinker
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I miss Thick Tea. Like a rich tea mated with a rusk.
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abridged wrote:What will happen to the Dunkers? I figure the fiery pits of perdition for them! :twisted:
Indeed not. For what is dunking but a symbolic baptism, the washing away of the biscuit's sins and making it fit for consumption? Certainly, there are biscuits which from First Times were cast from the sight of decent folks - but never doubt the evils ways of the malign biscuits, they seek to enter your homes and hearts through nefarious means, like in Teatime Assortments. They hide among the decent, gods-fearing biscuits, like the noble Bourbon, as if to say "Look at our friends - if we're here it must mean that we're ok." But, dear brethren, be not beguiled by them. Tis but a short step from thinking that a pink wafer is not the first step on the wide and downward-sloping path to microwaving a mug of water with a teabag in it. At which point, I'm afraid, all of the bamboo slivers and hot teaspoons in FUCT's Centre For Educational Realignment cannot save you.
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EvilBastard wrote:
abridged wrote:What will happen to the Dunkers? I figure the fiery pits of perdition for them! :twisted:
Indeed not. For what is dunking but a symbolic baptism, the washing away of the biscuit's sins and making it fit for consumption? Certainly, there are biscuits which from First Times were cast from the sight of decent folks - but never doubt the evils ways of the malign biscuits, they seek to enter your homes and hearts through nefarious means, like in Teatime Assortments. They hide among the decent, gods-fearing biscuits, like the noble Bourbon, as if to say "Look at our friends - if we're here it must mean that we're ok." But, dear brethren, be not beguiled by them. Tis but a short step from thinking that a pink wafer is not the first step on the wide and downward-sloping path to microwaving a mug of water with a teabag in it. At which point, I'm afraid, all of the bamboo slivers and hot teaspoons in FUCT's Centre For Educational Realignment cannot save you.
... :lol: :lol: :lol: ...
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EvilBastard wrote:
abridged wrote:What will happen to the Dunkers? I figure the fiery pits of perdition for them! :twisted:
Indeed not. For what is dunking but a symbolic baptism, the washing away of the biscuit's sins and making it fit for consumption? Certainly, there are biscuits which from First Times were cast from the sight of decent folks - but never doubt the evils ways of the malign biscuits, they seek to enter your homes and hearts through nefarious means, like in Teatime Assortments. They hide among the decent, gods-fearing biscuits, like the noble Bourbon, as if to say "Look at our friends - if we're here it must mean that we're ok." But, dear brethren, be not beguiled by them. Tis but a short step from thinking that a pink wafer is not the first step on the wide and downward-sloping path to microwaving a mug of water with a teabag in it. At which point, I'm afraid, all of the bamboo slivers and hot teaspoons in FUCT's Centre For Educational Realignment cannot save you.
Tea with crumbs in it. And soggy custard creams are the devils's work I tell you! In the Abridged church dunkers and heretics that use teabags are condemned to the rack and the fire. It's a ecumenical matter as they say. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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iesus
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Using teabag to make tea considered heresy? :eek: :eek:
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