Heartland

nearmethexperience wrote:well, have been married for 4 and a half days, it's pretty darn good!!!

i know i got a good one *grins*

anyway, will post again when i start my new job (free lance web designer) next week

see you all soon!!!

well done then!

Weddings always strike me as a complete waste of money.

1. The average cost of a wedding is £15,000.

2. The average number of guests is 75.

3. So the cost per guest is £200.

4. The cost of going to a wedding for a guest, is also £200. £100 for hotel, and about the same again for travel / food / present. This completely ignores attending the stag weekend.

So, we're looking at about £400 per head. Now, not wanting to be a kill-joy about this, but other than my sister's wedding, most wedding's I have been to have been enjoyable, but nothing special. And certainly not worth £400. I would hope my guests at my wedding would feel the same way.

So here is my suggestion. At my wedding, no one is invited. Family and friends will receive a non-invitation from me, pointing out how lucky they are to have been not invited. The non-invite will include a £100 donation form and SAE for the non-invitees to complete with their credit card details. This £100 donation will, I explain to them, go towards my honeymoon. The £100 (of their money) which they save from not turning up I will generously allow them to spend on an evening out of their choice.

They win: They only spend £100 on me, and get an evening out which will be far more entertaining than my wedding. And I win: I save the £200 per head on my costs, and get an extra £100 from my guests.

On 75 guests, this nets me £22,500. Which will do nicely for my honeymoon with some change left to fund a good divorce lawyer when required.

I am serious about this. Happiness is over-rated and pomp and ceremony only for the aspiring classes.

Master Margarita wrote:Weddings always strike me as a complete waste of money.

1. The average cost of a wedding is £15,000.

2. The average number of guests is 75.

3. So the cost per guest is £200.

4. The cost of going to a wedding for a guest, is also £200. £100 for hotel, and about the same again for travel / food / present. This completely ignores attending the stag weekend.

So, we're looking at about £400 per head. Now, not wanting to be a kill-joy about this, but other than my sister's wedding, most wedding's I have been to have been enjoyable, but nothing special. And certainly not worth £400. I would hope my guests at my wedding would feel the same way.

So here is my suggestion. At my wedding, no one is invited. Family and friends will receive a non-invitation from me, pointing out how lucky they are to have been not invited. The non-invite will include a £100 donation form and SAE for the non-invitees to complete with their credit card details. This £100 donation will, I explain to them, go towards my honeymoon. The £100 (of their money) which they save from not turning up I will generously allow them to spend on an evening out of their choice.

They win: They only spend £100 on me, and get an evening out which will be far more entertaining than my wedding. And I win: I save the £200 per head on my costs, and get an extra £100 from my guests.

On 75 guests, this nets me £22,500. Which will do nicely for my honeymoon with some change left to fund a good divorce lawyer when required.

I am serious about this. Happiness is over-rated and pomp and ceremony only for the aspiring classes.

Well done that man!

That's why, with any luck, I'm going to skip the marriage altogether, and just plan for the inevitable--the wicked part-ay that will be my funeral. A death lasts forever, or so they say...

I got married in the same Las Vegas chapel as Patricia Morrison and Dave Vanian. Great wedding , totally the wrong man .............

Marry in Las Vegas. Now that is a different matter altogether. A supremely ironic statement in a land supremely devoid of irony. You were taking the p*ss, weren't you?

*Ducks in anticipation of obligatory BP anit-yank bashing post*.

Master Margarita wrote:Marry in Las Vegas. Now that is a different matter altogether. A supremely ironic statement in a land supremely devoid of irony. You were taking the p*ss, weren't you?

*Ducks in anticipation of obligatory BP anit-yank bashing post*.

I highly reccommend it to anyone, and as Patsy herself said it avoids "having to remortgage you house to pay for everything and drunken uncles dancing too close"

CorpPunk wrote:That's why, with any luck, I'm going to skip the marriage altogether, and just plan for the inevitable--the wicked part-ay that will be my funeral. A death lasts forever, or so they say...

Sort of- the way the bible tells it, you pass through death into life.

I reckon LV is as good a place as any if you insist on going through with it. Least you go can go and get properly twatted afterwards.

Does this thing not let any f**king s**t wanky bollocksy twatting bad language through?

I guess it does

I should have married the Elvis impersonator ( we had the slim pre burgers version)

Black Dahlia wrote:I should have married the Elvis impersonator ( we had the slim pre burgers version)

We live and learn. It would probably've seemed like a strange turn of events if it's what you'd done at the time...

Master Margarita wrote:Marry in Las Vegas. Now that is a different matter altogether. A supremely ironic statement in a land supremely devoid of irony. You were taking the p*ss, weren't you?

*Ducks in anticipation of obligatory BP anit-yank bashing post*.

I have a dream about marrying a leather clad man in Vegas, and spending my honeymoon in a tattoo parlor getting his name tattooed on my arm.

If your ducking MM ..see my sig line.

Yep, can do some of that. The submission would have to be in a fairly controlled environment tho', as it isn't something I do as a matter of practice, and I would appreciate a bit more clarity around the peeling off point as well. Could I keep my modesty? Or at least my (leather)Simpsons pyjamas on? Mum bought them and I am quite attached, you see.

You wear leather Jammies????

That's more than I had hoped for!

Black Planet wrote:You wear leather Jammies????

That's more than I had hoped for!

Planet, baby, when you live life as fast as I do, you need to wear leathers all the time.

Tempting notion MM! But on the whole I think the excuse for a truly grandiose p*ss-up is winning out...I was informed the other night that my bridesmaids are to be dressed as the Anadin Brothers, which sounds like a bloody good reason in itself!

who says a marriage has to rack up the $$$/££££?
the one i had was extremely cost effective given todays current worship all things materialiostic and branded.
in fact,now i remeber it,my eldest son at the time wound up wearing a white shirt a few sizes too big for him that had the arms cut off at the elbows for him,and the rest was masked because he had a charming little waistcoat on over it all.
as far as i was concerned,spending stupid amounts of money on "things" was stupid.my son didnt care about white shirts so why should anyone else?
same for the reception thing.mass convoy back to my house,party affair there.few sausage rolls,plenty of liquid refershment,the odd cake and whatever,all minor details.
good people,good company,happy and memorable times.oh-and no entering married life with massive debts to repay from the beginning.

good job really,split 6months later,divorced 6months after that.
great life experience

Master Margarita wrote:

Black Planet wrote:You wear leather Jammies????

That's more than I had hoped for!

Planet, baby, when you live life as fast as I do, you need to wear leathers all the time.

LOL You are quite funny MM. Fast life, eh? If that's so, you would actually enjoy Sin City, the City That Never Sleeps. Vegas is cool, I love it there.

As for your leathers.....put your money where your mouth is. Prove it to me.

Black Planet wrote:

Master Margarita wrote:

Black Planet wrote:You wear leather Jammies????

That's more than I had hoped for!

Planet, baby, when you live life as fast as I do, you need to wear leathers all the time.

LOL You are quite funny MM. Fast life, eh? If that's so, you would actually enjoy Sin City, the City That Never Sleeps. Vegas is cool, I love it there.

As for your leathers.....put your money where your mouth is. Prove it to me.

Get a room!

Black Planet wrote:

Master Margarita wrote:

Black Planet wrote:You wear leather Jammies????

That's more than I had hoped for!

Planet, baby, when you live life as fast as I do, you need to wear leathers all the time.

LOL You are quite funny MM. Fast life, eh? If that's so, you would actually enjoy Sin City, the City That Never Sleeps. Vegas is cool, I love it there.

As for your leathers.....put your money where your mouth is. Prove it to me.

Watch this one Planet - he makes Casanova look like a slow worker ....

CorpPunk wrote:

Black Planet wrote:

Master Margarita wrote: Planet, baby, when you live life as fast as I do, you need to wear leathers all the time.

LOL You are quite funny MM. Fast life, eh? If that's so, you would actually enjoy Sin City, the City That Never Sleeps. Vegas is cool, I love it there.

As for your leathers.....put your money where your mouth is. Prove it to me.

Get a room!

If we're gonna fit all of planets beaus in there it'll have to be a bloody big room.

Jim wrote:

CorpPunk wrote:

Black Planet wrote: LOL You are quite funny MM. Fast life, eh? If that's so, you would actually enjoy Sin City, the City That Never Sleeps. Vegas is cool, I love it there.

As for your leathers.....put your money where your mouth is. Prove it to me.

Get a room!

If we're gonna fit all of planets beaus in there it'll have to be a bloody big room.

Nevermind Jim , theres always room for you and Hallucienate in mine .................

Black Dahlia wrote:

Jim wrote:

CorpPunk wrote: Get a room!

If we're gonna fit all of planets beaus in there it'll have to be a bloody big room.

Nevermind Jim , theres always room for you and Hallucienate in mine .................

nearmethexperience wrote:well, have been married for 4 and a half days, it's pretty darn good!!!

i know i got a good one *grins*

anyway, will post again when i start my new job (free lance web designer) next week

see you all soon!!!

you've only been married for 4 1/2 days and already you have left her to post on the internet - I'd think about asking for my money back if I was her. Blokes these days, no bloody stamina....

Serendipityhaven wrote: and no entering married life with massive debts to repay from the beginning.

erm, I thought you just asked daddy to pay.....