Heartland

A peek into the murky & often cut-throat world of competitive gooseberry growing

"I'm not moaning." Says woman who is moaning

East Yorkshire has a Bermuda triangle? Who knew?

Pista wrote: ↑04 Aug 2021, 08:26 "I'm not moaning." Says woman who is moaning

if there were a company involved in the retail of something called "Thick Lees" it wouldnt offend me as I am NOT thick (the correct adjective is "Girthsome") and unfortunately there are any amount of people with my fair monicker who are utter bellends fukktards and oxygen theives. (& in any infinite realities dimension where i am Supreme MotherFukcer Ov Da Multiverse they will be instantly vapourised.

"why not just rename them SMODM?"

"Sends a message".

Fire crew rushes to rescue a..... *checks notes*.... sausage dog stuck in a wine rack

Seriously. Who the hell steals flip-flops?

Gen Z has found something new to get angry about: Smiley emojis

Pista wrote: ↑12 Aug 2021, 07:29 Gen Z has found something new to get angry about: Smiley emojis

Pro tip: When using threatening notes to rob a bank, work a bit on your handwriting

my handwriting (or heiroglyphs) is so bad that the other day when I was typing up some notes I couldn't read what I'd written.

markfiend wrote: ↑13 Aug 2021, 13:03 my handwriting (or heiroglyphs) is so bad that the other day when I was typing up some notes I couldn't read what I'd written.

I often get the shopping for an elderly couple of neighbours & have stopped them writing the list because I just can't read the their writing.
I have them dictate to me so I can write it. Then I will promptly forget my reading glasses.

First world problems: The speed of supermarket checkout staff

Pista wrote: ↑14 Aug 2021, 10:37 First world problems: The speed of supermarket checkout staff

Eventually "huge towers" of products piled up, as Nicola "frantically reached" to pack her bags as quickly as possible.

In Aldi? I have no sympathy at all. People doing this sh!t really p!ss me off. You're not supposed to pack your bags at the till. You're supposed to put it all back into your basket/trolley and then pack at the shelf. It's intended to be fast and wasters like her just slow everyone else down.

Worcester News' chief crime/ courts reporter gets a major scoop

The Harwich bin bag mystery deepens

Man so shocked, SHOCKED that bag of sweets was missing a few items he contacted the manufacturer. And the police.

Thoughts and prayers to the people of Weymouth.

Stop the presses! Tom Cruise eats curry

Add to the list of things to steer clear of in the woods: Random Staircases

"Our town is not a seaside resort." Says town councillor of a seaside resort

There's a possibility you'll get mocked if you try to rob a store with a a lighter.

Emotional scenes at Wigan FC as fans give a minute's applause in honour of dearly departed Keith. The duck

Not sexy slang