Heartland

what's the difference between Life and John F Kennedy?
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you only get one shot at life

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. One of the students said to his friend: "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached the old man and one of the students said to him: "We're medical students and couldn't ignore the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said: "I'll tell you, but first you'll tell me what you think." Then one of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome." And the old man said: "You thought, but you're wrong."

Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." And the old man said: "You thought, but you're wrong."

So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?" And the old man said: "I thought I needed to fart. I thought, but I was wrong."

The same two medical students, who happen to be from Ghana, were doing their rotation in the maternity ward. As they walked down the ward, they were deep in conversation:

"I understand that the correct spelling is W-O-M-M-E"
"No, I disagree - I'm sure that it's spelled W-O-O-M-B"

This exchange was overheard by the matron, who came over to them: "Excuse me, gentlemen, but I couldn't help hearing your conversation. I think you'll find that the correct spelling is W-O-M-B."

The medical students thank her, and go on their way. As they leave the ward one turns to the other and says, "What the f*ck does she know? I'll bet she's never even heard an elephant fart under water."