Heartland

...says one wall to the other wall:"meet you at the corner."

that was the first "joke" i remember from my first english teacher.

OH dear, you must have had a hard time at school..

buzz wrote: that was the first "joke" i remember from my first english teacher.

Did it get any worse?

TOTALLY WRONG PICK-UP LINES:

* Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

* Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

* My Love for you is like diarrhoea ... I can't hold it in.

* Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

* Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

* If I were a squirrel and you a tree, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

* You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a lightswitch away.

* I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

* I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

* Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

* If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

* Your face reminds me of a spanner, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

Last one:

Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.


IZ.

Scenario:

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine
travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car
and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground
level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the
same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
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Answer:

Get off the children's Merry Go Round, you're pished.

@ all

I'll 'ave that!