Heartland

IZ.

Well that told me!

What?............. I'll never get to sleep with ATOMIC KITTEN

@ Iz


DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish = 49.
Adventurous = Slept with everyone.
Athletic = No breasts.
Average looking = Moooo.
Beautiful.. Pathological liar.
Emotionally secure = On medication.
Feminist = Fat.
Free spirit = Junkie.
Friendship first = Former s!ut
New-Age = Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned = No BJs.
Open-minded = Desperate.
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional = B!tch.
Voluptuous = Very Fat.
Large-framed = Hugely Fat.
Wants soul mate = Stalker.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No.
2. No = Yes.
3. Maybe = No.
4. We need = I want.
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry.
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not.
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry.
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
3. I am tired = I am tired.
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. May I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. May I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay