Heartland

Not exactly a joke, per se, but some of it is amusing in a sort of schoolboy kind of way (and I *finally* understand what a fud is... )

Klikkee

And, in a desperate bid to offend absolutely everyone...

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."

So He went to the African Americans and said, "I have Commandments."
The African Americans wanted an example, and the Lord said,
"Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said
"Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."

Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said,
"Thou shall not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, He went to the Israelites and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" they said,
"How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."

EvilBastard wrote:And, in a desperate bid to offend absolutely everyone...

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."

So He went to the African Americans and said, "I have Commandments."
The African Americans wanted an example, and the Lord said,
"Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said
"Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."

Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said,
"Thou shall not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, He went to the Israelites and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" they said,
"How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."

You didn't offend me, so you'll have to try harder!

EvilBastard wrote:Not exactly a joke, per se, but some of it is amusing in a sort of schoolboy kind of way (and I *finally* understand what a fud is... )

Klikkee

Finally I learned some really usefull english terms.

Cannae thankee enough..

the-happening wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:And, in a desperate bid to offend absolutely everyone...

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."

So He went to the African Americans and said, "I have Commandments."
The African Americans wanted an example, and the Lord said,
"Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said
"Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."

Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said,
"Thou shall not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, He went to the Israelites and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" they said,
"How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."

You didn't offend me, so you'll have to try harder!

Yeah, sort it out. I was brought up on Chris Morris!

err...not literally of course, that would be very, very strange.