Heartland

The godlike genius that is Steven Severin (Banshees bassist and songwriter, for those of you with NAE TASTE ) is one of my friends on Myspace. He sent the following bulletin out today... pay particular attention to the text in bold:

severin wrote:
PLEASE

Do not attempt to advertise on my page. Add a comment NOT an advert about your stupid new track.

Don't post crappy glitter graphics.

Don't ask to IM with me ~ I'm not interested.

Don't ask me "How I'm doing?" ~ I won't reply.

Don't request an add if your music is the TOTAL opposite of mine.

If your music is "New Age" ~ f**k off & hug a tree.

If your music is "Punk" ~ leave me out of it.

If your name is "Violet shadows" & the Sisters are in your top friends ~ I feel sorry for you.

Everybody and everything else grateful received.

I love you

SS

So not a fan of then? Or has drink been taken?

I do rather like the ironic use of the word 'love' at the end though

Something tells me his myspace list might fit on the back of a postage stamp.

Now that is Goth!

As it 'appens, there is an ex-member of the Sisters (well, Sisterhood) in his own friends list...

Oh the irony!

I am SO going to nick his Idea!

Really, some people's MySpace pages are really a pain to the eye. On some it would take me hours to find the 'post comment' button.

Suffice it to say I don't bother then...

IZ.

Nuthin' a good size-10-where-the-sun-don't-shine can't sort out.

severin wrote:
PLEASE

Do not attempt to advertise on my page. Add a comment NOT an advert about your stupid new track.

Don't post crappy glitter graphics.

Don't ask to IM with me ~ I'm not interested.

Don't ask me "How I'm doing?" ~ I won't reply.

Don't request an add if your music is the TOTAL opposite of mine.

If your music is "New Age" ~ f**k off & hug a tree.

If your music is "Punk" ~ leave me out of it.

If your name is "Violet shadows" & the Sisters are in your top friends ~ I feel sorry for you.

Everybody and everything else grateful received.

I love you

SS

Bloody goths - always affecting to be so moody!

Don't ask me "How I'm doing?" ~ I won't reply.

Why would anyone ask him how they themselves are doing? That sentence would have made sense if he had removed the quotation marks and question mark or replaced "I'm" with "are you".

If your name is "Violet shadows" & the Sisters are in your top friends ~ I feel sorry for you.

He's just jealous of Von's meticulous grammar and spelling and doesn't want reminded.

I feel his pain though.

I might send one out that says: don't ask me to add you if you're a f**king hairy-arsed bunch of indie-schmindie losers just because you come from Glasgow! Honestly, why in the name of all that is holy do the sh!ttest bands in the world think you want to be their friend just because they live down the road from you? That's only more reason to hate them IMHO - a cursory glance at my record collection should reveal that I like bands MORE the further away they are from Glasgow!

And horny 17 year old boys who describe themselves as "a sexual being" can quite literally go fcuk themselves as well.
Messages like that make me think "What am I doing wrong?" and make a mental note to go and get those tattoos sooner rather than later...

boudicca wrote:And horny 17 year old boys who describe themselves as "a sexual being" can quite literally go fcuk themselves as well.

If they're a 17 year old boy you can pretty much guarantee that's what they were doing while they were posting their message

(tattoos would probably encourage them!)

lazarus corporation wrote:

boudicca wrote:And horny 17 year old boys who describe themselves as "a sexual being" can quite literally go fcuk themselves as well.

If they're a 17 year old boy you can pretty much guarantee that's what they were doing while they were posting their message

(tattoos would probably encourage them!)

Thanks for that Paul, I feel so much better now!

boudicca wrote: I might send one out that says: don't ask me to add you if you're a f**king hairy-arsed bunch of indie-schmindie losers just because you come from Glasgow! Honestly, why in the name of all that is holy do the sh!ttest bands in the world think you want to be their friend just because they live down the road from you? That's only more reason to hate them IMHO - a cursory glance at my record collection should reveal that I like bands MORE the further away they are from Glasgow!

And horny 17 year old boys who describe themselves as "a sexual being" can quite literally go fcuk themselves as well.
Messages like that make me think "What am I doing wrong?" and make a mental note to go and get those tattoos sooner rather than later...

I get that too, Finnish nu-gother bands treading the well-worn HIM path to stardom( i.e via being Bam Magera's new man-crush) try to add me, plus a large number of 17 year old American girls, who assume because I'm living in Finland have long hair and eyeliner I must be some soulful Scandinavian. I can only imagine their disappointment when they find I'm a prickly, politics-obsessed Englishman. What really baffles me is that the average Finn is about as soulful as a haddock with a face to match.
Oh, and I'd happily swap 17 year old boys for the Turkish men who keep messaging me AND my girlfriend. If we are inviting someone into our bed at any point, one thing I think we will both be agreed upon is that it won't be someone with excessive body hair and a huge nose..

This is why I don't use myspace.

boudicca wrote:Thanks for that Paul, I feel so much better now!

If you will post those pictures, well...

make a mental note to go and get those tattoos sooner rather than later...

Horny 17 year old boy here! I urge you to go on with the tatoos! Wait wait, whats more appropriate 17 year old Boy or 17 year old Goth? Can you be both?

Although the chances of me f**king myself over myspace, because of you or anyone are minimal, that Rupert merdoc owned sham is a disgrace.

I feel violated when I have to use myspace for the most mundane of reasons...

i decided to try adding him, but the old curmudgeon declined

Maisey wrote:Horny 17 year old boy here!

If that's you in your avatar I'll make a little exception!

(did I just say that out loud? )

That is indeed me. Although there are a few other photos floating around the site that show a less flattering angle. I shall consider my vanity sufficiantly stroked for this evening.


Usually modeling various Rosetta Stone shirts

This is a lesson to all you chaps out there...

Waistcoats are your friends!

Maisey wrote:I shall consider my vanity sufficiantly stroked for this evening.

How very Freudian

boudicca wrote:This is a lesson to all you chaps out there...

Waistcoats are your friends!

And very eighties, or am I out of touch again and not caring

Zuma wrote:

boudicca wrote:This is a lesson to all you chaps out there...

Waistcoats are your friends!

And very eighties, or am I out of touch again and not caring

I have a very nice leather waistcoat tucked away somewhere.

I recently came across one exactly the same listed on eBay under the heading "Goth Fetish Fancy Dress Mens Black Leather Waistcoat".

smiscandlon wrote:

Zuma wrote:

boudicca wrote:This is a lesson to all you chaps out there...

Waistcoats are your friends!

And very eighties, or am I out of touch again and not caring

I have a very nice leather waistcoat tucked away somewhere.

I recently came across one exactly the same listed on eBay under the heading "Goth Fetish Fancy Dress Mens Black Leather Waistcoat".

have one tucked away too - a present a few years ago made by "Nugget" in London - nice derail BTW

smiscandlon wrote:I recently came across one

What you do in your own time, Steven...

smiscandlon wrote:...exactly the same listed on eBay under the heading "Goth Fetish Fancy Dress Mens Black Leather Waistcoat"

And pray tell, how did you become aware of this? Last time I checked you had to search...

You will forever rue the day you gave me that piece of information!

Just 'cause you'd rather have me in a cassock...

markfiend wrote: This is why I don't use myspace.

It's a pile of w@nk-I have one but don't use it