*WARNING FOR THOSE UNDER 18 DO NOT READ!*
*or i will punish you!
*1. FIRST AND FOREMOST, WE ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO DO IT.
~MB edit ~
indeed!2. EXTENSION TO RULE #1- SO IF YOU GET ONE, BE GRATEFUL.
HA!
3. I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY DID IN THE PORN VIDEO YOU SAW; IT IS NOT
STANDARD PRACTICE TO CUM ON SOMEONE'S FACE.
so ask nicely before!
4. EXTENSION TO RULE #3- NO I DON'T HAVE TO SWALLOW.
although it is rumoured to have potential protein value!
5. MY EARS ARE NOT HANDLES.
although big enough
6. EXTENSION TO RULE #5- DO NOT PUSH ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD. LAST I
HEARD, DEEP THROAT HAD BEEN DONE. AND ADDITIONALLY, DO YOU REALLY
WANT PUKE ON YOUR DICK?
the gagging motion you should now imagine!
7. I DON'T CARE HOW RELAXED YOU GET, IT IS NEVER OK TO FART.
it just smells bad!
8. HAVING MY PERIOD DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT'S "HUMMER WEEK" -GET IT
THROUGH YOUR HEAD- I'M BLOATED AND I FEEL LIKE s**t SO NO, I DON'T
FEEL PARTICULARLY OBLIGATED TO BLOW YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE
SEX RIGHT NOW.
no questions asked!
9. EXTENSION TO #8- "BLUE BALLS" MIGHT HAVE WORKED ON HIGH SCHOOL
GIRLS-IF YOUR THAT DESPERATE, GO JERK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE WITH
MY PARACETAMOL.
yeah, yeah *yawn*
10. IF I HAVE TO PAUSE TO REMOVE A PUBIC HAIR FROM MY TEETH, DON'T
TELL ME I'VE JUST "WRECKED IT" FOR YOU.
nah, never happened so far, never will...
11. LEAVING ME IN BED WHILE YOU GO PLAY VIDEO GAMES IMMEDIATELY
AFTERWARDS IS HIGHLY INADVISABLE IF YOU WOULD LIKE MY BEHAVIOR TO
BE REPEATED IN THE FUTURE.
once i've had MY snooze, then we'll see...
12. IF YOU LIKE HOW WE DO IT, IT'S PROBABLY BEST NOT TO SPECULATE
ABOUT THE ORIGINS OF OUR TALENT. JUST ENJOY THE MOMENT AND BE HAPPY
THAT WE'RE GOOD AT IT. SEE ALSO RULE #2 ABOUT GRATITUDE.
yeah and about how your dreams have now just come true!
ungrateful cock!
13. NO, IT DOESN'T PARTICULARLY TASTE GOOD. AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT
THE PROTEIN CONTENT.
next time i'll make fish for dinner...
...for a month!
14. NO, I WILL NOT DO IT WHILE YOU WATCH TV.
but, but you did! haha...oh a joke!
15. WHEN YOU HEAR YOUR FRIENDS COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW THEY DON'T GET BLOW
JOBS OFTEN ENOUGH, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. IT IS INAPPROPRIATE TO
EITHER SYMPATHIZE OR BRAG.
hee! okay then.
16. JUST BECAUSE "IT'S AWAKE" WHEN YOU GET UP DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE TO
"KISS IT GOOD MORNING".
ROCKIN'
*****A MAN'S REBUTTAL*******
1. FIRST OF ALL, YES YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO DO IT. IF YOU DON'T WE WILL
FIND SOMEONE (YOUNGER, PRETTIER, AND DIRTIER) WHO WILL.
you tried that and scared her off!
2. SECOND, SWALLOWING A TEASPOON OF CREAM IS A HELL OF A LOT EASIER
THAN LICKING A DEAD FISH.
no more dinner for you.
3. YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT FARTING? DOES THE WORD "QUEEF" MEAN
ANYTHING TO YOU?
no quiff does though...
4. I WILL USE YOUR EARS AS I SEE FIT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT AND BE
THANKFUL I'M NOT PULLING YOUR HAIR.
please pull my hair, it's kinda a come-on!
5. WHEN YOU'RE ON PERIOD, STUFFING SOMETHING IN YOUR MOUTH IS THE
ONLY WAY TO STOP YOUR BITCHING AND MOANING. SUCK IT UP.
haven't been on the period for many moons!
6. SPEAKING OF WHICH, IF YOU ARE BLEEDING FOR FIVE STRAIGHT DAYS,
YOU NEED ALL THE FLUIDS YOU CAN GET, TRUST ME.
yeah and we are talking yours!
7. YOU BITCH ABOUT THE TASTE, BUT TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT WE
GET THE s**t END OF THE STICK IN FLAVOR COUNTRY.
and they turned and saw their pillars turn to salt and we licked up the salt.
8. AT LEAST THERE IS NO DANGER OF A DICK BLEEDING IN YOUR MOUTH.
unless you bite!
9. PLAY WITH THE BALLS.
and score a goal?
10. NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU THINK YOU ARE AT IT, WE'VE HAD BETTER.
and yours is just an illusion...
11. CARESS THE ARSE TOO, WE LIKE THAT.
but we like it even more!
12. MAKE HAY WHEN THE SUN SHINES. IT'S "WIDE AWAKE" IN THE
MORNING NOW, BUT WHEN YOU GET OLD AND FAT AND LOOKING FOR SOME
ACTION, I GAH-RON-TEE IT'LL BE "SOUND ASLEEP".
ahem for sleep.
13. IF YOU SWALLOW, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING
ANY ON YOUR FACE
and you don't have to worry about wiping that blood off your face!
And that for a Sunday lesson in school of the holy!
Peace be with you!
