Heartland

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the
Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my
mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits,
and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is the re any way you could carry it
through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The
official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to
declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do
you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman,
but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father...Next!"

what's small and furry and hates sex?























the badger in the boot of my car...

sorry. that was told to me by someone at work earlier...

Two blokes:

"Is that your big lizard?"

"No mate, it's minute."

...
"But we're fun guys!"

markfiend wrote:Two blokes:

"Is that your big lizard?"

"No mate, it's minute."

genius