Heartland

Shamelessly lifted from another forum where I stole it from someone who shamelessly lifted it from another site :-

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

IZ.

Tom Thumb, Snow White and Quasi Modo were all sitting together one day when Snow White said..."You know what...I must be the most beautiful person in the world."

Tom Thumb says, "You know what....I think I must be the smallest person in the whole world."

"So in that case, I reckon I must be the ugliest person in the whole world" pipes up Quasi Modo.

"Well lets go and get it verified!!" says Snow White

So they all go off together and get it confirmed officially.

Out steps Snow White with her certificate....."Oh my I really am the most beautiful person in the whole world! Yay!"

Then out comes Tom Thumb, certificate waving in the air....."I AM the smallest person in the whole world! Yippee!!"

Quasi Modo steps out looking very disappointed...."so who's Cherie Blair?"

Had to look her up, of course...and I must say, I've seen far worse. Pffffft.

silentNate wrote:Shamelessly lifted from another forum where I stole it from someone who shamelessly lifted it from another site :-

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Well pilfered Sir.