Heartland

"A Man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different
hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then
they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil
comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.

He checks out the American hell, as well as the Russian hell & many
more.

He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Greek hell and finds that there is a long line of
people from all nationalities waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What
do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour, and
then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Greek
devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so
many people waiting to get in?"

The answer goes: "Because the maintenance crew is always on strike,
there is no electricity so the electric chair doesn't work. Albanians
have stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former
Government employee, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to
have his Frappe (Cold Coffee) and eat cookies all day..."

I'd expect the german hell to be the place of choice.
The nails should be imported from china an bow under your bodyweight (But they were incredibly cheap!!), and the devil will probably only moan all the time about having to work more than 38 hours a week and not move a hand.

The american one probably won't allow anyone in for fear of terrorists.