Heartland

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me!", she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I’ll be alright...I’ll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away an laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?"

To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Another golf joke:

Two aliens are sitting in their flying saucer, watching a particularly bad golfer. It seems like every shot lands in a bunker, the poor guy has taken about 17 shots to get onto the green. He finally sinks his putt, and one alien turns to the other and says, "how the hell is he going to play from there?"

markfiend wrote:

Another golf joke:

Two aliens are sitting in their flying saucer, watching a particularly bad golfer. It seems like every shot lands in a bunker, the poor guy has taken about 17 shots to get onto the green. He finally sinks his putt, and one alien turns to the other and says, "how the hell is he going to play from there?"

How indeed?!