Heartland

>An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
>Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
>
>Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
>
>Older Woman: Oh, I see.
>
>Officer: Can I see your license please?

>Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

>
>Officer: Don't have one?
>
>Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

>
>Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

>
>Older Woman: I can't do that.
>
>Officer: Why not?
>
>Older Woman: I stole this car.
>
>Officer: Stole it?
>
>Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

>
>Officer: You what?
>
>Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
>want to see.

>
>The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
>calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A
>senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

>
>Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
>steps out of her vehicle.

>
>Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
>
>Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
>murdered the owner.

>
>Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
>
>Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

>
>The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

>
>Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
>
>Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is
>quite stunned.

>
>Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
>license.

>
>The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
>it to the officer.

>
>The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

>
>Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
>a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
>the owner.

>
>Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

>
>
>
>
>
>Don't Mess With Old Ladies