A Guide to Women (why not? -- 25.IX.2007)

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reactiv8
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A Guide to Women’s English:-

No = Yes
Yes = No
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
I want new curtains = and carpeting and furniture and wallpaper
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes & find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate

Hopefully this outrageous piece of plagiarism hasn't been posted before?
(I'm sure I'll be swiftly informed & chastised if necessary)

As if I needed to add:- Your Thoughts/Comments please?
- Don't worry, a male version to follow shortly :wink:
They (The Establishment) use sex as an addiction for control, just as they use alcohol and drugs ...
- A programme of systematic frustration in order to sell this crock of s**t as immortality, a garden of delights and love. ...
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smiscandlon
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reactiv8 wrote:(I'm sure I'll be swiftly informed & chastised if necessary)
Might be better suited to 'Joke of the Day' than 'General Chat'.
анархия
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Ozpat
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You met a lot of "wrong" girls in your life... :lol: :wink:
"as we walk on the floodland"
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smiscandlon
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Must try harder,

It was Blast, too. He will stab you.
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eotunun
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..and learn thoroughly!
You wouldn't want to make any mistakes if you met a woman like her!
(That was the first video Youtube offered after the Ahrayéph one. In a way it's lucky the video wasn't a recording of "Seele".. :innocent: ;D)
Last edited by eotunun on 25 Sep 2007, 22:16, edited 1 time in total.
"These are my principles! And if you don't like them just says so, I have others, too!"
~Rufus T. Firefly
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6FeetOver
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smiscandlon wrote:
reactiv8 wrote:(I'm sure I'll be swiftly informed & chastised if necessary)
Might be better suited to 'Joke of the Day' than 'General Chat'.
Aye. And it's not even funny! :P :von:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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smiscandlon
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reactiv8 wrote:We need to talk = I need to complain
But OMG, it's funny because it's true! :lol:
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reactiv8
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smiscandlon wrote:
reactiv8 wrote:We need to talk = I need to complain
But OMG, it's funny because it's true! :lol:
Aye - see post above!
They (The Establishment) use sex as an addiction for control, just as they use alcohol and drugs ...
- A programme of systematic frustration in order to sell this crock of s**t as immortality, a garden of delights and love. ...
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James Blast
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my thoughts exactly ;D
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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reactiv8
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James Blast wrote:my thoughts exactly ;D
'Hook, Line & Sinker', eh Sir James? :wink:
They (The Establishment) use sex as an addiction for control, just as they use alcohol and drugs ...
- A programme of systematic frustration in order to sell this crock of s**t as immortality, a garden of delights and love. ...
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6FeetOver
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I knew I was an alien - this thread proves it. Phew! ;D

:notworthy: @ me! :lol:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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E Gypsy
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smiscandlon wrote:
reactiv8 wrote:We need to talk = I need to complain
But OMG, it's funny because it's true! :lol:
No it's not. It should read:

We need to talk = you need to listen!
All my life I've wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
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Petseri
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Eh, just bin it. It does not even have the date on the subject line. :innocent:
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EvilBastard
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Ozpat wrote:You met a lot of "wrong" girls in your life... :lol: :wink:
There's no such thing as a girl who's wrong - the fault is with the inability of the man observing her to understand that she's right.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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psichonaut
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reactiv8 wrote:A Guide to Women’s English:-

No = Yes
Yes = No
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
I want new curtains = and carpeting and furniture and wallpaper
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes & find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate

Hopefully this outrageous piece of plagiarism hasn't been posted before?
(I'm sure I'll be swiftly informed & chastised if necessary)

As if I needed to add:- Your Thoughts/Comments please?
- Don't worry, a male version to follow shortly :wink:
where did you meet my wife? :innocent:
thanks...my Lord...i'm unbeliver
tear up your pants for psicho...and jump on him
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smiscandlon
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Petseri wrote:Eh, just bin it. It does not even have the date on the subject line. :innocent:
Hardcore! :lol: :notworthy:
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itnAklipse
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What utter nonsense.
we've got beer and we've got fuel
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James Blast
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Location: back from some place else

Hey look! Mr. Happy's here
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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