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3-10-07 Do not talk to my Parrot
Posted: 03 Oct 2007, 17:15
by Pat
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check ."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
Posted: 03 Oct 2007, 20:43
by more-sedatives-pls
totally didn't see that one comin'
poor chap
Posted: 04 Oct 2007, 18:28
by bushman*pm
more-sedatives-pls wrote:totally didn't see that one comin'
poor chap
Soooooo totally seconded, dudes!
to the power of
to you both!
Posted: 04 Oct 2007, 18:46
by smiscandlon
more-sedatives-pls wrote:totally didn't see that one comin'
I did, here's why.
I think I have a behavioural problem with regards to Joke of the Day. I have a tendency to skip to the end of the post, read the punchline, and if it's funny then I go back and read the joke.
Should I seek help?
Posted: 04 Oct 2007, 18:48
by weebleswobble
smiscandlon wrote:
Should I seek help?
For all manner of things
Posted: 04 Oct 2007, 20:40
by Izzy HaveMercy
smiscandlon wrote:I think I have a behavioural problem with regards to Joke of the Day. I have a tendency to skip to the end of the post, read the punchline, and if it's funny then I go back and read the joke.
Should I seek help?
In that case, I'll make it easier for you...
"Well, first I had to know how fast you were walking, no?"
IZ.
Posted: 04 Oct 2007, 22:23
by James Blast
... marzipan!
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 01:01
by 6FeetOver
I saw it coming. Then again, I *am* Ms. Spock. It was the logical way for it to end, see...
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 10:03
by markfiend
"I thought you said 'King Kong's balls'!"
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 11:42
by Izzy HaveMercy
"Nope sir," the pianoman said, "but if you can hum it, I can play it"!
IZ.
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 12:03
by Pat
"I'm not a real welder ,mister"
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 12:14
by Pista
You need to put a new candle in.
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 12:31
by smiscandlon
"The Aristocrats!"
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 12:41
by markfiend
smiscandlon wrote:"The Aristocrats!"
You win
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 16:29
by 6FeetOver
You forgot to mention the broken glass...
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 22:42
by eotunun
Is that the non-navigative edition of Mornington Cresent?
Posted: 05 Oct 2007, 23:22
by Tidal
oh noes, there we go again...
Posted: 06 Oct 2007, 00:21
by James Blast
Kensington High Street ~ using Mortimer's Conversion, of course
Posted: 06 Oct 2007, 12:22
by eotunun
Morningto Cresent! (Yupp, I'm planning to go for a zero-sum round!
)
Posted: 06 Oct 2007, 16:25
by bushman*pm
....so what, you're Welsh and fcuk sheep!
Posted: 06 Oct 2007, 17:40
by Tidal
eotunun wrote:Morningto Cresent! (Yupp, I'm planning to go for a zero-sum round!
)
That still isn't
Mornington Crescent though...dunno where Morningto Cresent is
Posted: 06 Oct 2007, 17:47
by 6FeetOver
Now, now, Tidal...
Posted: 06 Oct 2007, 18:11
by Pista
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
Posted: 07 Oct 2007, 00:09
by eotunun
Tidal wrote:eotunun wrote:Morningto Cresent! (Yupp, I'm planning to go for a zero-sum round!
)
That still isn't
Mornington Crescent though...dunno where Morningto Cresent is
Okay, Lord Trainspotter. You got me there..
Now, where are you? What tactic are you going to play?
Posted: 07 Oct 2007, 00:16
by James Blast
