Heartland

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He
gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just
like Frank.'

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the
time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like
that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have
won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like
an Opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have
heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.'

Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer . Could
remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to
order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like
me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman,
he could do everything right.'

Passenger. 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But
Frank, he never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a woman
and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was
in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly
polished too - he was the perfect man. He never made a mistake. No one
could ever measure up to Frank Feldman .'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his f#*king
widow.'