Heartland

Click me.

James Blast wrote: Click me.

Did you take note of point 5 Mr. Blast?

it's all bollocks m'dear

but it's pear shaped bollocks that tastes quite sweet!

this is true

and it's still a gem that clicky!

Read this

Z!! I have hell at all the airports I travel through!

If it's not my docs at Frankfurt that they make me take off to check and all the things I've had to take off like belts and jewellery fuckme it's actually just discrimination cause I look different!

In Dubai I even had the women security with me in a little cube and she hardly touched me so if I was carrying a bomb I could have gotten it through!

It's been happening for too many years now so next time I travel I'm going as a corporate whore with a mantle suit (mini skirt and heels) with briefcase and see if I get stopped looking like that!

Oh and one more thing...the people behind the security gates are usually those big fat ugly turds who have to work in places like that...

*IF anyone on this board is one of those people! I've had enough of your bloody types!

MadameButterfly wrote:mini skirt and heels

smiscandlon wrote:

MadameButterfly wrote:mini skirt and heels

Not only... I'm trying not to get picked out the crowd!

But indeed

Keep us updated Debs Just let me know when you do explosives so I can book another flight

The only time it was a bit troublesome for me was when I was flying from Leeds some years ago and hadn't really sobered up yet I think. Hardly got what it was they wanted me to do

Obviousman wrote:Keep us updated Debs Just let me know when you do explosives so I can book another flight

Z! What if higher people lurk on HL and read this!
Under no conditions for anyone or anything I solemly swear that I NEVER nor EVER will do or contemplate the transporting of anything like explosives ~ I'M ANTI ANY WEAPONS Z! EVER! And NOR will I EVER transport DRUGS with me or any bodies body parts (expect those in ashes~ONLY ASHES no drugs!) with me in flight!

Thanks Z! There goes my corporate whore plan down the drain!

YOU think of something now please.

Dear mister Big-Brother-read-along, of course I can't do anything but recognise this fine lady would never think of such a thing indeed. So don't you worry, all machines she's on are safe

Will that do Debs?

BTW: Don't eat anything with sesame seeds on top when going to countries like Dubai and the like, might end up in jail for that too!

No not really! Just tell them to leave me be!

I'm paying to grace the sods with me passing them!
The lip I always get...

I swear it in this written typing IF it happens again I'm gonna strip my moor! Then we'll see what thefuck they will do about it!

I'll fight them NINJA style!

*this thingy with airports will be a chapter in my book!*

Okay! Well, it's clear now isn't it Mr. Big Brother, it's me you're after, leave her to be!

Okay! Well, it's clear now isn't it Mr. Big Brother, it's me you're after, leave her to be!

Okay! Well, it's clear now isn't it Mr. Big Brother, it's me you're after, leave her to be!

Three times even

echo...echo...

Yes lurkers...it's him in the orange you cannot miss him!

*points @ Obviousman and RUNS FOR THE HILLS*

My being short helps too, doesn't it

Obviousman wrote:My being the tallest in the crowd helps too, doesn't it

Yes Z! That helps!

Obviousman wrote: BTW: Don't eat anything with sesame seeds on top when going to countries like Dubai and the like, might end up in jail for that too!

Sesame as vot

Like on top of a little roll. I've heard people who had one or two seeds left in their pockets got busted Don't think it's a pleasant surprise that

Zhis is not zhe same as I meant.
*nudgenudge*
Joke gone wrong. Next! (TM)

eotunun wrote:Zhis is not zhe same as I meant.
*nudgenudge*

I know what you meant!