Heartland

Tis my son's 19th birthday on Sunday. What to get him? He has enough money in the bank to buy me out! (Note to self: must put his rent up.) Racked our addled brains to think of an appropriate present, besides beer, drugs and a 'professional masseuse'. He plays guitar, mainly Oasis, (Zeppelin, Muse and Stone Roses if he's feeling adventurous), watches mob stuff like Sopranos, dumb arses like Dirty Sanchez and twats trying to prove their survival instincts somehow accompanied by plain clothes film crews. Any ideas? Spare him the midget gems!

I would recommend a book or DVD by Ray Mears and a large Bakewell tart.

Pat wrote:Ray Mears

Should I Google him? Hell, no wonder their shares have soared.

Pat wrote:Bakewell tart.

She was even before my time.

He is a survival expert, she is still tasty

In a do or die scenario?

Francis wrote:In a do or die scenario?

Get him the SAS Survival Handbook.

If he reads it he'll only watch the idiotic twats (like Bear Grylls) with film crews as a source of amusement.

Give him a car and a ticket to Syria?

IZ.

all 'i'm sorry i haven't a clue' cds.

If he haven't got it already:

Today's Observer 'How to play guitar' book.

In the freebie Guardian/Observer guitar book it lists the best buys for effects pedals and units....A possibility?

get him a porn

yes, 'a porn' will make his little face light up

just the one?

yeah, isn't one enuff?

Depends on how big the porn is doesn't it?

Happy Birthday Francis's son....

Enjoy your 19th and get your dad to send you to Aunty Butterfly in Amsterdam for the real thing....or a leason in life...we'll get your dad grey soon!

MB xxx

BT/M/A/Ama is what I go for