Heartland

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?"

The Lord replied, "The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I thought it'd be funny if we both hopped"

Well I thought it was funny.

And so did I.

Yupp.
I was surprised, actually. I'd have thought it ends with "When you saw only one set of footprints I was carrying you!"
"Then will ye bloody take bleedin' care where you take me? Seen what happened there?"

I heard a version that finished with god saying, "Where there was only one set of footsteps, that's where I was riding you like a bitch."

Thought the hopping one was funny too

See also The Onion

I was worried you got religion oh fiendish one