Heartland

Oh the shame

Picture this, if you will, sunny Sunday afternoon, just the right sort of day for a bit of topiary. So out with the power hedge trimmer and off I jolly well go. Strim, strim, strim - making lovely straight lines with nice curvy bits where required. Tum-ti-tum, twiddle-di-dee, everything going well. Twenty minutes I turn around to see smoke billowing (and I mean billowing not a wispy trail) out of the garage! I fling down the hedge trimmer, screaming like a banshee for Gaz to get of the sofa to rescue stuff from the garage or at the very least locate the source of the fire. I always thought I'd be good in a crisis and I am when it's someone else's crisis but today I was a tad headless chicken-like. I mean, the garage is full of things, stuff, memories, oh and Gaz's drum kits, lighting equipment, amps etc, which, to be honest, I show scant regard for.

Gaz leaps forth from the front door - my hero - (note to self make the lad a cup of milky coffee after he rescues the situation) with no thought to his own safety, fights his way into smoke-filled garage (I may have whimpered a bit at this point and quickly wondered where the life insurance policy was)



















AND TURNS OFF THE FECKING SMOKE MACHINE THAT WAS PLUGGED INTO THE SAME SOCKET AS THE HEDGE TRIMMERS

Thankyou for that.

Sorry. It could have been a lot worse and I'm delighted for you that it wasn't, but one has to laugh all the same.

doesn't everyone have a smoke machine in their garage?

Alright, I have to ask this: "just the right sort of day for a bit of topiary". Am I the only person (or just the only person that will admit to it) who read this and thought that topiary referred to "personal grooming"? It made perfect sense to me at the time, and although I was surprised to read that it was being done al fresco I accept that some of my fellow HLers live in less restrictive and conservative communities than I...

Glad that it all worked out - and also that your garage could serve as a venue the next time decides to tour

James Blast wrote:doesn't everyone have a smoke machine in their garage?

No, but I've got two in my kitchen

He's not joking!

Maisey wrote:
No, but I've got two in my kitchen

Gaz's smoke machines are rather nomadic, they live where he leaves them. They were removed to the garage during the great 'Get that drum kit off the dining room table' moan in March (it had been there since New Year's Day )

EvilBastard wrote:Alright, I have to ask this: "just the right sort of day for a bit of topiary". Am I the only person (or just the only person that will admit to it) who read this and thought that topiary referred to "personal grooming"? It made perfect sense to me at the time, and although I was surprised to read that it was being done al fresco I accept that some of my fellow HLers live in less restrictive and conservative communities than I...

I always trim my bush outdoors.

class

reminds me of the time a long forgotten local synth pop duo left me in charge of the smoke machine at the first night of what was to be a 2 month thursday night residency. They were told not to bother turning up again

Debaser wrote:

EvilBastard wrote:Alright, I have to ask this: "just the right sort of day for a bit of topiary". Am I the only person (or just the only person that will admit to it) who read this and thought that topiary referred to "personal grooming"? It made perfect sense to me at the time, and although I was surprised to read that it was being done al fresco I accept that some of my fellow HLers live in less restrictive and conservative communities than I...

I always trim my bush outdoors.

Well, if my wife did that, it'd certainly get me off the couch...















... I'd be outside selling tickets.

Ness wins one Internets.

Fantastic.

EvilBastard wrote:Alright, I have to ask this: "just the right sort of day for a bit of topiary". Am I the only person (or just the only person that will admit to it) who read this and thought that topiary referred to "personal grooming"? It made perfect sense to me at the time, and although I was surprised to read that it was being done al fresco I accept that some of my fellow HLers live in less restrictive and conservative communities than I...

I was more shocked by the fact that it required a hedge trimmer!

Classic

Ness is s p e c i a l