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26/6 Best friends

Posted: 26 Jun 2003, 10:59
by Lynchfanatic
A man and his dog were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly
occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered
dying, and that the dog had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall
along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall
arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing
before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that
looked like mother of pearl, and the street that
led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got
closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out,
"Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some
ice water brought right up."
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?"
the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward
the road and continued the way he had been going.
After another long walk, and at the top of
another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led
through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw
a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that
couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was
an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the bowl and took a long
drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward
the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said.
"The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and
pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just
happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their
best friends behind."

Posted: 26 Jun 2003, 11:01
by Lynchfanatic
I see now that I made two. Im sorry, but saw I typed in the wrong date :roll: Wanted to fix it and voila there was two. :roll: So just throw one in the trash bin.

Posted: 26 Jun 2003, 12:14
by Debaser
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She

rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her

daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was

playing,

and the aroma of perfume filled the room.



"What are you doing?" she asked.



"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law

answered.



"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.



This is my LOVE dress," the daughter-in-law explained.



"LOVE dress? But you're naked!"



"My husband LOVEs me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him

to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes

romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."



The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put

on

her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on

the

couch waiting for her husband to arrive.



Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so

provocatively.



"What are you doing?" he asked.



"This is my LOVE dress," she whispered, sensually.



"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"


:D

Debaser

Posted: 26 Jun 2003, 13:15
by rian
he he

:oops:

Posted: 26 Jun 2003, 14:25
by Lynchfanatic
Good one debaser :lol:

Posted: 26 Jun 2003, 17:00
by Debaser
Your whelks.....I feel I have been neglecting you of late...will try harder

Debaser

Posted: 30 Aug 2013, 00:53
by Elfink
Hey Lynch was that one really from ten years ago - I just saw it tonight - that's not a joke - that's just pure beauty - thank you mister x