Heartland

I was busy feeling sorry for myself all morning for being single (alone again, naturally, or somesuch) on the day that tends to magnify related feelings of self-loathing and envy, not to mention more than a touch of resentment. This afternoon, I kept a pertinent medical appointment that was fraught with dread. My little personal pity party ended pretty quickly, when, upon leaving the doctor's office, I struggled fiercely to maintain my composure because I was thinking of my mother.

It seems, knock on wood, that I've been spared her nightmare, at least for the present moment (which, really, is all we have, anyway). I thought of my brave mom, and her nearly 15 fear- and pain-filled years of battling breast (and ultimately, ovarian) cancer, and decided that she would be my Valentine this year. I wanted to tell her that I've been told that have reason to be cautiously hopeful about my future (at least as far as my health's concerned), and also to share with her how guilty and oddly ashamed that makes me feel.

I made the conscious decision today that it doesn't/shouldn't/will not matter, in future, whether or not I'm in a relationship or have a partner of some sort in my life. Being single and above ground beats the alternative, any day.

Give hugs and kisses and squeezes to everyone you love and who loves you, if you can, as often as possible. That is all.

Victory day is in May.
And st. Valentine's day, patron of my little furry sister ill - who btw. visited her today- is just cheap trick.
Don't feel bad, ashamed that you didn't find anyone or anyone didn't find you. And if you can't try to ignore this day.
Valentine's day, as x-mass, is just another way to celebrate something that shouldn't be celebrated by giving (buying) gifts, is you love someone, not only don't think twice, but also love him/her everyday.

Well said, Bartek (for once, hehe ... )

I'm absolutely glad we didn't have such "Valentine" days in Germany when I was a kid or a youngster and daily hit ... I guess I had vomitted all over inside for a week each time.

Of course, it's a "new" source to sell s**t to the sweet things supported by emotional trapping - the capitalist devil, again, in your bleeding face ... :lol: ...
And of course, we do have Valentine over here too by now. But hell, what else should we do with all the money ...

@SINsister
We're all angels ... or gods ... ...

well and eloquently said SINsister

We can have love without Valentine's day. Such days are for chocolate and flower sellers and all those pink little objects with lots of red hearts and arrows and etc...
Enjoy every moment with the people you love and never let a day pass without doing something for good cause.
Well said in general by Bartek and Being645

iesus wrote:Such days are for chocolate and flower sellers and all those pink little objects with lots of red hearts and arrows and etc...

Women put a lot of importance on such rituals. For us men it's a bit of a nuisance. And they know that, of course.

aww, i didn't see this cos i was running around packing for the weekend. sinnie, you are just lovely. you can be my valentine every year. (don't celebrate it in this house so mr s will not notice!)

SINsister wrote:I was busy feeling sorry for myself all morning for being single (alone again, naturally, or somesuch) on the day that tends to magnify related feelings of self-loathing and envy, not to mention more than a touch of resentment. This afternoon, I kept a pertinent medical appointment that was fraught with dread. My little personal pity party ended pretty quickly, when, upon leaving the doctor's office, I struggled fiercely to maintain my composure because I was thinking of my mother.

It seems, knock on wood, that I've been spared her nightmare, at least for the present moment...

Ahhhh, the irony. It seems that I may have spoken too soon, actually, which is part of the reason for my recent absence from HL. Only time, some minor surgery (not yet scheduled), and further testing will tell.

Please keep me in your thoughts, kiddies. I'm frightened.

Holy cr@p Sinnie!

I'm sure that you'll be in safe hands & if they scare you too much, I'll have Millhouse come over & gum them to death.

Fingers crossed for you in Hungary-land.

/me sends good vibes Sinnie's way

SINsister wrote:

SINsister wrote:I was busy feeling sorry for myself all morning for being single (alone again, naturally, or somesuch) on the day that tends to magnify related feelings of self-loathing and envy, not to mention more than a touch of resentment. This afternoon, I kept a pertinent medical appointment that was fraught with dread. My little personal pity party ended pretty quickly, when, upon leaving the doctor's office, I struggled fiercely to maintain my composure because I was thinking of my mother.

It seems, knock on wood, that I've been spared her nightmare, at least for the present moment...

Ahhhh, the irony. It seems that I may have spoken too soon, actually, which is part of the reason for my recent absence from HL. Only time, some minor surgery (not yet scheduled), and further testing will tell.

Please keep me in your thoughts, kiddies. I'm frightened.

Oh damned ... ...

Loads of good energies and best wishes from here ...

Best wishes Sinnnie.

Very Best Wishes

all the love in the world, sis

SINsister wrote: I made the conscious decision today that it doesn't/shouldn't/will not matter, in future, whether or not I'm in a relationship or have a partner of some sort in my life. Being single and above ground beats the alternative, any day.

Oh but you know we love you, Sinnie...