Heartland

Dawn creeps over the moor. The night was cold, and the sun, although bright, does little to warm the chill breeze blowing across the grass that stands between us.

Behind the Master stands his Second, the wooden box that contained his sabre cradled in his arms. Further back three others stand by. Their eyes do not leave my butler. The slight bulges under their left breast pockets say all that their silence does not.

He is taller than me. Well built. He cradles the sabre like a man who knows how to use a sword. I doubt this is his first duel. I can see his rapid breathing as the nerves start to subside. It is always the same. When you realise that now you are perfectly alone. No friends to impress, no smart words to score points with, just you. Now you have to either defer, or advance. I can see him looking directly at me. This time, he must go.

My butler eases my jacket from my shoulders, and crosses the ground from me to stand between us. I bring my rapier up until the guard is level with my face. The blade is long for a rapier, some three feet, with a deeper than normal blood groove, making it light. The guard is swept back in the Toledo style, the grip soft leather.

"Gentlemen. I assume neither of you is prepared to defer?"

Silence.

"In that case, when I step back, you will both advance and engage. To the death. When honour shall be satisfied"

My butler steps back.

I drop my rapier to waist height, the point of the honed steel blade aimed at his heart.

"En guarde!" and the sound of steel meeting steel cracks through the mourning air ... for when shriek subsides, the Master shall die and the Major shall smile.

Another 100 strikes and yer out mate!

And Major de Coverley...isn't that one of those hoppy, jumpy, hey no-i-no type dances?

Honey, I like your style ..........

Ask CorpPunk, Debaser. She knows.

You may strike me with a thousand lashes. But you will never beat the Major.

Honey's dead Dahlia, dead. Just ask Jim and Bill. They know.

He'll always live on in my heart ......

*BD weeps profusely into a large handkerchief*

Welcome Major, or are you really a Minor? In disguise?

Hey Planet, nice to meet you. Haven't spoken before, but you sound cool. Don't know why, but something tells me you might like the soft LEATHER grip on my rapier. Call it major intuition.

Well that gives the game away

trash

ryan_w_0000 wrote: trash

Now, now young Ryan. No need to throw the toys out of your pram.


*BD replaces her black mourning veil*

Thank you Dahlia dearest.

I remain indebted to you and your defence of the Major's good name. Fortunately not required in this case- the thimble witted retard has been disciplined and is now cleaning my boots. "Trash"? I've shot and gutted men for less than that.

Much love

The Major

*sigh* i should really stay out of general chat

can we have something other than your jargon, major?. im sure that your story will get you a c- in your english class.

BUT im afraid ill have to give you an F for originality

Welcome Major!

Who is the man behind the mask?



I'm also a butler in my spare time!

ryan_w_0000 wrote:*sigh* i should really stay out of general chat

can we have something other than your jargon, major?. im sure that your story will get you a c- in your english class.

BUT im afraid ill have to give you an F for originality

I smell a fight coming on!

English isn't your first language, is it Ryan?

Now back to my boots. I want to invade Poland by tea, and want to look my best.

Major de Coverly wrote:Hey Planet, nice to meet you. Haven't spoken before, but you sound cool. Don't know why, but something tells me you might like the soft LEATHER grip on my rapier. Call it major intuition.

Major intuition, huh? Well nice meeting you you as well. Now what kind of car do you have?

Major de Coverly wrote:English isn't your first language, is it Ryan?

Now back to my boots. I want to invade Poland by tea, and want to look my best.

Oh Darling , not Poland again! You'll miss tiffin!

Thank you, Big Si. I feel most welcomed.

As a gentleman yourself, you know that the mask never comes off. And what with dispatching of the Master earlier today, and invading Poland later this afternoon, I have got enough on my plate as it is. So no more fighting today either.

The Buxman will be pleased.

[quote="Black Planet"][quote="Major de Coverly"]Hey Planet, nice to meet you. Haven't spoken before, but you sound cool. Don't know why, but something tells me you might like the soft LEATHER grip on my rapier. Call it major intuition.[/quote]

Major intuition, huh? Well nice meeting you you as well. Now what kind of car do you have?
[/quote]

Planet, sweetie, you sound delicious. I don't have a car. Just a trusted steed (with LEATHER saddle) called Porsche. One horse is enough power for me.

Come round for tea sometime- Dahlia is arranging it after I've done Poland and finished my English homework.

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Major de Coverly:
English isn't your first language, is it Ryan?

Now back to my boots. I want to invade Poland by tea, and want to look my best.



ill warn poland then major

theyll know you by your pic




nah just kidding- welcome to heartland

Greetings Major!!!! Classic entertainment!!!

Major de Coverly wrote:

Black Planet wrote:

Major de Coverly wrote:Hey Planet, nice to meet you. Haven't spoken before, but you sound cool. Don't know why, but something tells me you might like the soft LEATHER grip on my rapier. Call it major intuition.

Major intuition, huh? Well nice meeting you you as well. Now what kind of car do you have?

Planet, sweetie, you sound delicious. I don't have a car. Just a trusted steed (with LEATHER saddle) called Porsche. One horse is enough power for me.

Come round for tea sometime- Dahlia is arranging it after I've done Poland and finished my English homework.

How many is it for tiffin then my angel? Im not sure Ive ordered enough fairy cakes to go round ..........

Don't be silly Dahlia. Everyone knows that fairy cakes don't exist.

Major de Coverly wrote:Don't be silly Dahlia. Everyone knows that fairy cakes don't exist.

Look - just bugger off to Poland and let me do the thinking, okay?

*stomps off*