Heartland

Lava Lamp v Ford Focus

Used to drive to York & back every day but now my car's dying from neglect. Just sparked up the lava lamp for the first time in years and it's glowing healthy.

i had a little red ford escort that i called christine; partly because it was a "strawberry girl" but mainly because it started to fix itself up. when it was given to me, having stood on my step-dad's drive for years, the only thing that worked was the engine and the front indicators. after using it constantly for a week or so (and loving it inordinately because cars= freedom) the electrics suddenly started to mend themselves. in the end the only light that didnt work was the one in the glovebox. the cooling system stopped leaking. the battery held a charge. the tyres suddenly had legal tread and if i ran it out of petrol it would run on fumes for f**king miles. this chocolate-teapot c**t borrowed it once in an emergency, filled it with diesel instead of 4 star petrol and she ran on it for the 20 miles back home! -which is actually impossible. it never killled anyone but i never got pulled in it by the pigs, and when it died it sort of saved my life due to the imposssible way it took the impact fromn the car that hit my side at 70mph. awesome car.

after the escort and the fiesta ford should have brought out the ford razzle or the ford reader's wives shaven haven special: it all went down hill when they stopped calling their cars after jazz-mags.

never owned a lava lamp but i have some candles from the 70's which light up instantly even after being stored in a damp cupboard all those years.

I have never before contemplated the relationship between Ford Models and Porn Mags
Was this deliberate policy?
Does it make you blind?
Is that why they brought out the Focus?

million voices wrote:I have never before contemplated the relationship between Ford Models and Porn Mags
Was this deliberate policy?
Does it make you blind?
Is that why they brought out the Focus?

I've never had a Ford. Or a lava-lamp.

I had a lava lump once. Great to get the rough skin off your feet

If your girlfriend likes to dress-up for bed in a green jersey, shin-pads and gloves, she's a keeper.

Norman Hunter wrote:If your girlfriend likes to dress-up for bed in a green jersey, shin-pads and gloves, she's a keeper.

Apparently the new hire, who will sit very near me, is a Hall and Oates fan. I don't think this is going to go well.

EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Apparently the new hire, who will sit very near me, is a Hall and Oates fan. I don't think this is going to go well.

it may not be as bad as all that. so long as you don't operate an equal-opportunites music-at-work policy you wont have to necessarily hear their poor delududed musical tastes (and if you do operate this policy, managed properly your musical taste could engineer an end to that).
i look at this way: lots of people find me very pleasant and agreeable (probably misguidedly) but would absolutely shit themselves/wish themselves a premature death if forced to listen to my music for longer than 15 secs.

EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Apparently the new hire, who will sit very near me, is a Hall and Oates fan. I don't think this is going to go well.

I can't go for that. No.

No can-do.

Norman Hunter wrote:

EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Apparently the new hire, who will sit very near me, is a Hall and Oates fan. I don't think this is going to go well.

I can't go for that. No.

No can-do.

1. My penis is not quite as big as a foot-long Sub from Subway.
2. I'm banned from Subway.

Norman Hunter wrote:

EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:Apparently the new hire, who will sit very near me, is a Hall and Oates fan. I don't think this is going to go well.

I can't go for that. No.

No can-do.

@EPW if you cannot find any common ground music-wise than maybe you can ask them where they stand on the pronunciation of 'scone'
(I really want to know who funded this research)
https://www.irishexaminer.com/examviral ... 34105.html

Microcosmia wrote: @EPW if you cannot find any common ground music-wise than maybe you can ask them where they stand on the pronunciation of 'scone'
(I really want to know who funded this research)
https://www.irishexaminer.com/examviral ... 34105.html

pissing myself laughing. definitely money well spent.

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:

Microcosmia wrote: @EPW if you cannot find any common ground music-wise than maybe you can ask them where they stand on the pronunciation of 'scone'
(I really want to know who funded this research)
https://www.irishexaminer.com/examviral ... 34105.html

pissing myself laughing. definitely money well spent.

Yeah, but this is clearly bollocks - north of t'Wall, where men wear skirts and squeeze music out of sheep stomachs, they pronounce it to rhyme with "swoon", as in the stone of scone.

Maybe you misheard they could have said "ball and scrotes"

EvilBastard wrote:

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:

Microcosmia wrote: @EPW if you cannot find any common ground music-wise than maybe you can ask them where they stand on the pronunciation of 'scone'
(I really want to know who funded this research)
https://www.irishexaminer.com/examviral ... 34105.html

pissing myself laughing. definitely money well spent.

Yeah, but this is clearly bollocks - north of t'Wall, where men wear skirts and squeeze music out of sheep stomachs, they pronounce it to rhyme with "swoon", as in the stone of scone.

Well I 've had many a scone that was as hard as the Stone of Scone but if it's really pronounced that way too then clearly the research sample was biased in favour of 'skon'.

I'm ordering cheesecake in future, can't go wrong there surely....