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The Great Heartland Biscuit Threadô
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Pista
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PostPost #26  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I always found that digestives were the most prone to "sludgeing" up the bottom of the cup unless you bought the chocolate ones. Those would hold up a but better & the chocolate would melt ever so slightly & you could lick it off the biccy.
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PostPost #27  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Swinnow wrote:
Hobnobs are terrible dunkees too.


Yorkshire tea and bone china!! Lol
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PostPost #28  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

EvilBastard wrote:
Pista wrote:
You've put a lot of thought into this EB
Laughing


Advanced years enable one to gain a perspective on what's important in life. Time was when my mind was a blizzard of thoughts of work, career, sex, and Do I Know Anyone With Good Gear. With the passing of time one finds that the ephemera fades into the background, and one is able to focus on the fundamentals - where are the teabags, is there milk in the fridge, what is the shortest distance between (a) [where I am], and (b) [where the biscuits are], and Do I Trust This Person Not To Put The Milk In Before Taking The Tea Bag Out?


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abridged
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PostPost #29  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I'm a reasonable person. I can take war, horror, torture in my stride but it has to be the scorpion pits for anybody that dunks their biscuits. Evil or Very Mad And that goes for people who take cold milk on their cereal also! Wierded Out
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Pista
Cureboi


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PostPost #30  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

abridged wrote:
I'm a reasonable person. I can take war, horror, torture in my stride but it has to be the scorpion pits for anybody that dunks their biscuits. Evil or Very Mad And that goes for people who take cold milk on their cereal also! Wierded Out


Surprised
I see your point. No excuse for not pouring vodka on cereal
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PostPost #31  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

chocolate biscuits should not be dunked! waaah! hot sludgey chocolate is a travesty. the stuff should be revered, not tortured.

any cream sandwich biscuits are the devil's work.

digestives are dunking royalty. malted milks and Nice ones also reasonable. hobnobs are too bitty for just about anything! like eating cardboard with pebbles in it.

non dunkable lovelies - chocolate digestives, shorties, jaffa cakes, butter crunch and ginger nuts. you can't really dunk TUC or ritz either.
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mh
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PostPost #32  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

abridged wrote:
I'm a reasonable person. I can take war, horror, torture in my stride but it has to be the scorpion pits for anybody that dunks their biscuits. Evil or Very Mad And that goes for people who take cold milk on their cereal also! Wierded Out

This, people, is the man who drinks Guinness with blackcurrant. I think we all know how much credibility he has.
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Pista
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PostPost #33  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

mh wrote:
abridged wrote:
I'm a reasonable person. I can take war, horror, torture in my stride but it has to be the scorpion pits for anybody that dunks their biscuits. Evil or Very Mad And that goes for people who take cold milk on their cereal also! Wierded Out

This, people, is the man who drinks Guinness with blackcurrant. I think we all know how much credibility he has.


Laughing We are not worthy!
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PostPost #34  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

As any fule kno Guinness can be hugely improved by the addition of a large Tia Maria to a pint of the aforementioned. Wink
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Pista
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PostPost #35  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

EvilBastard wrote:


3. Hybrid Biscuits. TimTams, Penguins, Club, Wagon Wheels, Yorkie, Jaffa Cakes.



Point of order. Are jaffa cakes biscuits? Smile
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PostPost #36  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Terrible for dunking whatever aisle they stock them on in the Asda.
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PostPost #37  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

abridged wrote:
I'm a reasonable person. I can take war, horror, torture in my stride but it has to be the scorpion pits for anybody that dunks their biscuits. Evil or Very Mad And that goes for people who take cold milk on their cereal also! Wierded Out

and exactly what are you meant to have on your cereal then???
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Pista
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PostPost #38  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

So what's the verdict on mini gems then?

*asking for a friend* ....ahem..... Embarassed
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PostPost #39  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Pista wrote:
So what's the verdict on mini gems then?

*asking for a friend* ....ahem..... Embarassed


Undunkable, unless you want to get your fingers in the tea. Do not qualify as True Biscuits, and can therefore be fobbed on on Americans And Other Foreign Types who don't know any better.

Pista wrote:
Point of order. Are jaffa cakes biscuits?


Not according to the VAT Tribunal, who ruled that not only are they called cakes but are also sufficiently dissimilar to biscuits as to be allowed to be zero-VAT rated.

Despite being a hybrid, The Great British Council On Partial Biscuit Submergence (Tea-Time Working Party) ruled during the 1987 To Dunk Or Not To Dunk conference that "the dunking of Jaffa Cakes is permissible so long as the dunk is not prolonged to the point at which either (a) the cake layer disintegrates, or (b) the chocolate layer melts to the point at which the yummy orangey bit slides off the cake and into the dunker's tea."

The Council however voted down a motion put forward by the Revolutionary Dunker's Party, a militant splinter group, that dunkers who fail to take such precautions as may be necessary to avoid these tea-time disasters should be labeled revisionists and counter-revolutionaries and should be exiled to the outer wastes where the only tea available is in powdered form and the only biscuits are Pink Wafers.

And yes, I have put a lot of thought into this. The subject of Biscuits, and the dunking thereof, is Serious Business, and is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of gods.
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PostPost #40  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

In a word: bleurgh. Our fearless leader!
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UnnaturalDisaster
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PostPost #41  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Pista wrote:
I see your point. No excuse for not pouring vodka on cereal

Tried that with Weetabix. Not recommended.
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Microcosmia
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PostPost #42  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Can I be slightly controversial here (in the vein of the "scone" debate) and ask how people pronounce Nice as in the biscuit?

In our house it was always pronounced "niece" after the French city but lots of people call them "nice" as in pleasant. I struggle with this as I don't think they're all that nice anyway, they tend to be the ones left uneaten in the tin of assorted biscuits


Last edited by Microcosmia on Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:44 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Swinnow
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PostPost #43  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

In the old family home on the Wirral it was 'niece' biscuits, and, yeah, they were amongst the ones left untouched after Christmas.

Not unusual to find similar pronunciations in Ireland and Merseyland though is it, I mean Liverpool is the capital of Ireland isn't it lol
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Microcosmia
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PostPost #44  Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Swinnow wrote:
In the old family home on the Wirral it was 'niece' biscuits, and, yeah, they were amongst the ones left untouched after Christmas.

Not unusual to find similar pronunciations in Ireland and Merseyland though is it, I mean Liverpool is the capital of Ireland isn't it lol


Yes major links between Liverpool and Dublin in particular ! I came across this link explaining differences in pronunciation (basically Dublin vs. the rest of the country) http://www.dailyedge.ie/nice-biscuit-pronunciation-1251117-Jan2014/

I'm so glad somebody took the trouble Laughing
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PostPost #45  Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 3:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

My mum still rolls out the story of when I was a small child in Chadderton Asda and she asked me what biscuits I'd like. "Nice ones" I replied, pronouncing it to rhyme with ice. "But which ones?" she said. Repeat several timed until I said "The ones with nice written on them".

etc
My how we laughed.

I always call them Ni(e)ce now.
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PostPost #46  Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

What the bloody hell is all this nonsense! Laughing
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Pista
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PostPost #47  Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Okay. Finally found the Tim Tam Slam video Very Happy
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PostPost #48  Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Apparently the correct pronunciation of Nice rhymes with ice, lice, and (if you come from the Home Counties) house. Presumably because truth in advertising was unheard of back when the things were invented. Terrible dunking - sub-second terminal absorption, they add too much sugar to the beverage and you really don't want to have to try to get the dried coconutty sludge out of the mug if you happen to leave it out without rinsing it.

I'm starting a campaign, Nice People Don't Eat Nice Biscuits - stay tuned for the GoFundMe link.
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PostPost #49  Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Pista wrote:
Okay. Finally found the Tim Tam Slam video Very Happy


Without wishing to lower the tone in any way shape or form, I just want to go on record as being more than willing to slam Natalie Imbruglia's TimTam any time she wants. Mr. Green
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PostPost #50  Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

mh wrote:
abridged wrote:
I'm a reasonable person. I can take war, horror, torture in my stride but it has to be the scorpion pits for anybody that dunks their biscuits. Evil or Very Mad And that goes for people who take cold milk on their cereal also! Wierded Out

This, people, is the man who drinks Guinness with blackcurrant. I think we all know how much credibility he has.


I would have thought that I would be safe enough on an (ahem) goth forum with my blackcurrant fetishism... Wink

And dosen't our ahem beloved leader put HOT milk on cornflakes? A man of distinction... We are not worthy!
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