Heartland

Sweet FA above, it's time for another GW. Steve's roundup is here - he's out cloning Frosty and being ignored disdainfully by Polly & Iggy, who think he's bonkers. I'm fresh from the Batcave kitchen where the vegan flapjack is disappearing fast and panforte is in the oven (am not quite sure about this one but giving it a go) and the house smells lovely. Definitely better than a Premiership dressing room!
Let's move right along - no time to waste atm. Hope everyone's snowflakes are feeling chilled? Was reading about an FPL manager who scored 55 points last GW, but had 57 points scored by his bench. Oops.
Here's the lineup - check your football news for any thing untoward. May the forceball be with you.

Saturday 16 December

Leicester 12:30 Crystal Palace - Ripe for anything happening.
Arsenal 15:00 Newcastle - A draw
Brighton 15:00 Burnley - Burnley get a narrow win
Chelsea 15:00 Southampton - Chelsea to slip up somehow
Stoke 15:00 West Ham - Hammers get hammered after the Spurs hammering
Watford 15:00 Huddersfield - A Draw. Eventful.
Man City 17:30 Spurs - Spurs to upset the record breakers' applecart

Sunday 17 December

West Brom 14:15 Man Utd - JoMo to lose it, badly
Bournemouth 16:30 Liverpool - Liverpool's Salad dressing to get spicy

Monday 18 December

Everton 20:00 Swansea - A hot mess

Cinnamon laced luck!

Get in quick everyone. Jo's made flapjacks this week

you can eat as much as you like of these. fat free!

hurry, now. Mr S is on his second helping.

Aaaarrrrggghh.
I want a doggy bag now!

third helping...

I've still not dared look at my midweek total, I just know it was meagre, with just about every player I've sold in the last month scoring fricking s**t of goals. Soz IGM. HOnestly if I managed 30 points I'll be happy enough.

edit: 36! Get in! Thanks entirely to the ex-red for keeping liverpool at bay. How does a goalie get 10 points? DId he save some penalties or summat? De Gea never used to bag me 10 points in seasons past, when he'd be making upwards of f**k-tons of saves per match. Peculiar.

Ah well, at least now I know what that 'Change yer entire team' card is for, seems like the time to wield it has come.

From Klopp
"Goalkeeper Simon Mignolet will return to the starting XI against Bournemouth if fit."

So that's cleared that up then.....

Because of the midweek games I expect there will be more squad rotation from most teams this week with the busy festive schedule ahead. Still not worth breaking Johnny's old "no more than ten minutes a week" rule for, though!

Benteke has scored a goal.

I repeat. Benteke has scored a goal.




& Zaha doubles!


& a 3rd from Sako made it a pleasingly Dammit-free match


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Oh and look, my new (temporary) defender was part of a 3 goal mauling, and worse, my new (temporary) midfielder got himself sent off

Good start.

Planet Dave wrote:and worse, my new (temporary) midfielder got himself sent off

Good start.

& it was his 21st birthday too. Poor bloke.
But Ndidi dived Ndidin't he?

I Ndidn't see it so I've no idea, all I know is that yet again I daren't check the FPL page, seeing a negative total score is not good for the soul

Ah well, hat-trick for Morata coming up......oh hold on

Planet Dave wrote:
Ah well, hat-trick for Morata coming up......oh hold on

D'oh!
At least you have Jesus as vice captain. Chances are Pep will play both him & Aguero up front against Spuds

Stoke game was delayed as the leccy was out & someone posted this on the Beeb's feed

Commentator bollix of the week


What?

Pista wrote:Commentator bollix of the week


What?

alzheimers united

Damnit Rooney missed a pen. But OTOH I also have Fabiansky, who saved it. Swings and roundabouts

markfiend wrote:Damnit Rooney missed a pen. But OTOH I also have Fabiansky, who saved it. Swings and roundabouts

pre-school playgrounds are about rooneys level.

Pista wrote:Commentator bollix of the week


What?

Wow, imagine how beautiful his balance must be when he's on-balance

Well that's it with tinkering. This weeks FPL Managerial masterclass included one sending-off and two missed penalties from the new additions, and pretty much everyone I've recently sold scored. Definitely a bit of 'following the ball' to blame but eff it, my squad will remain constant barring injuries, see how that goes for the rest of the season. It can't be any worse.

That's GW 18 over! Here's what happened, more or less:

Saturday 16 December

Leicester v Crystal Palace - I was right on that one. Palace winning by 3, and with a clean sheet? Benteke proves he’s alive. Ndidi gets red, but hey, no one has him, right?
Arsenal v Newcastle - Nearly got this one correct.
Brighton v Burnley - A narrow win by no goals to none, yeah? Tarkowski now out after three games’ ban. Burnley not scared of heights. 6 yellows and a red.
Chelsea v Southampton - Chelsea slipped up by only winning 1 - 0. Could do better. Seven saves by Forster, good lad.
Stoke v West Ham - The Spurs hammering spurred the Hammers on.
Watford v Huddersfield - Eventful indeed - Hudds went bananas and Watford aren’t sure what happened. One red card apiece is tut worthy behaviour.
Man City v Spurs - I do not wish to discuss this any further.

Sunday 17 December

West Brom v Man Utd - Not a finest hour for the Reds, though Lukaku pooped his head up.
Bournemouth v Liverpool - Salad scores, but not even on the bonus sheet. Firmino and Coutinho go mad. Klopp does know what he’s doing!

Monday 18 December

Everton v Swansea - Penalties missed and scored and Big Sam saves Christmas for the Blues. A bit of a Rooney Show.

Apart from all that, Paul Clements was chucked out of Swansea who are now boss less over the frenzy of Christmas GW action. On a better note, JoMo unamused that Bristol stuffed them last night in the Cup. -well deserved it was too. Bristol deserved the win. To top their crap night, the Reds’ flight home was cancelled due to fog and a lengthy team bus drive followed - arrival at 5am this morning. Ouch.

The tables show that IGM are now second to the BB&S overall, but doing badly in the GW. EIB won that by 2 points.

Damage Dunfermline still has the Yellow Jersey!

The Big Shout Out goes to Dead Men Walking and Team WMS, both on 74 points. Well done!

The H2H Crown is also with Damage Dunfermline. This must stop.



We are back over to the Shed, as the next GW starts TOMORROW. Mince pies in the bin, loads of other goodies being sent over to augment whatever the cats have ordered. Let the festivities begin!

emilystrange wrote:This must stop.

Don't worry, it will. And I would willingly exchange my table topping position for three points for (the real) Dunfermline at home to Brechin on Saturday after seven games without a win.

I'm all for mince pies in the bin. Trouble is, the cats would fish them out in no time & leave them all over the place in pieces.
Right, time to suss out who's suspended & broken.
See you in the GW

Nikolas Vitus Lagartija wrote:

emilystrange wrote:This must stop.

Don't worry, it will. And I would willingly exchange my table topping position for three points for (the real) Dunfermline at home to Brechin on Saturday after seven games without a win.

Eh what why? I thought this was a team thing, in which case you just carry straight on winning every week, and we'll try support you as best we can. Never stop, way things look if it ain't yerself it's someone from one of them other teams, which is infinitely less preferable!

because we all want a go too!