Hold the front page! Some news happened. Film at 11

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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MadameButterfly
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Pista wrote:
MadameButterfly wrote:
Pista wrote:Fish not quite fresh enough? No problem.
:lol: :lol: that's funny. if buying fish you would think customers look closely, i mean a child would be able to tell those are stick on eyes.
Some of the tweets made me chuckle too.
This one in particular
:lol:
:lol: :lol: oh shame poor cat but it looks funny as hell. i don't think it would boost his/her confidence though probably give it a complex!
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Pista
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She can't possibly do a worse job than Cecilia did with Ecce Homo.
Maria Luisa Menendez: "Hold my cerveza."
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Pista
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Cathay Pacific gives zero Fs
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EvilBastard
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Well this is just flippin' wonderful. Now the doormen at your favourite club will have another reason to not let you in: you're not a woman, you're wearing trainers, you're not an octopus :roll:
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
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Pista
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EvilBastard wrote:Well this is just flippin' wonderful. Now the doormen at your favourite club will have another reason to not let you in: you're not a woman, you're wearing trainers, you're not an octopus :roll:
They sure scienced the shiat out of them.
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markfiend
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Pista wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Well this is just flippin' wonderful. Now the doormen at your favourite club will have another reason to not let you in: you're not a woman, you're wearing trainers, you're not an octopus :roll:
They sure scienced the shiat out of them.
An octopus can give you four hugs at once.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
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EvilBastard
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markfiend wrote:An octopus can give you four hugs at once.
You know, I'd actually not considered that. In light of this, and the fact that I might have the chance to get three hugs and a happy ending off a girl octopus, I am reconsidering my position on the whole "octopodes in clubs" thing now.
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I loathe squid, but I actually like octopi. They're as smart and playful as dogs - maybe smarter, actually.

I don't mind eating calamari - everything I know makes me think they are vicious, evil, and stupid. But the octopus? Just can't do it.
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The most successful tyranny is not the one that uses force to assure uniformity but the one that removes the awareness of other possibilities, that makes it seem inconceivable that other ways are viable, that removes the sense that there is an outside.
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A place nearby in Bradford does fab salt and pepper squid, well worth a detour for a lazy meal on me way home.
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
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EvilBastard
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The award for sheer ingenuity goes to the dolphins: there is one reported case of a male masturbating by wrapping an electric eel around his penis. :eek:

Oh, sure, when a dolphin does it he gets column inches in Teh Graun. When I do it it's a lifetime ban from Seaworld.
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Swinnow
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Christ, that'd be hard enough with hands...

Tyna has just said "You'd give your spleen for that" and finished off my Southern Comfort....
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EvilBastard
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EvilBastard wrote:Well this is just flippin' wonderful. Now the doormen at your favourite club will have another reason to not let you in: you're not a woman, you're wearing trainers, you're not an octopus :roll:
Y'know, now I'm getting a little worried. It's one thing when those octopodes are jumping the queue at the club, making moves on your best girl/boy with the whole "Babe, I can give you 4 hugs at once" schtick, but it's another thing entirely when they team up with the pinnipeds to batter a poor defenceless kayaker (although, to be fair, the kayaker was totally looking at him funny).
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EvilBastard
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I'm alongside the idea that expanding the teaching of history in schools to include people who were not white is a good thing - for one, it fosters inclusion (telling kids in Brixton that history was made as much by people who looked like them as by people like Palmerston, Gladstone, and Disraeli), and for another it demonstrates that Britain has been a multi-racial, multicultural society for years before Windrush, thereby sticking it to the tw@s who would have us believe that pre-Windrush Britain passed the Daz window test.

But there's a bit at the end of this article:
El Grauniad wrote:The Labour leader also set out plans to support a new Emancipation Educational Trust to educate future generations ...through school programmes...and focusing on African civilisation before colonisation.
What do you think the fall-out will be when the history books reveal that even before colonisation Africa was just as nasty a place as most other parts of the world at the time? The widespread practice of slavery, for example. There is a tendency in some parts to view "Africa" as some pastoral idyll before those nasty colonialists showed up and ruined everything, but it wasn't, but I bet you a cheese n'ham toastie that as soon as this becomes common knowledge there's going to be some angry comments.
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Pista
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EVERYBODY PANIC!
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When robbing a shop, being asked to come back at closing time when there's more money should ring some alarm bells .
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Her impressive voice has been compared to parts of the opera Madame Butterfly and has now been viewed over 700,000 times. Ladies & gentlemen. Harriet the donkey
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Fire crews called out when parrot impersonates smoke alarm
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Paging Alanis Morissette. Alanis Morissette to the white courtesy phone please
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MadameButterfly
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Pista wrote:Her impressive voice has been compared to parts of the opera Madame Butterfly and has now been viewed over 700,000 times. Ladies & gentlemen. Harriet the donkey
:lol: :lol: I got so confused but just for a second.
it's over now carry on as you were.
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It's in the can ... or bottle
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The New York Times asks for people’s stories of petty crime in London on twitter. What could possibly go wrong?
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"Please stop misusing the word 'clown'". Asks clown
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Charlie
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Pista wrote:"Please stop misusing the word 'clown'". Asks clown
:roll:
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Apparently accessing HL on your smartphone will hasten the coming of the antichrist
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you're welcome :lol:
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