Heartland

Posted: **24 Nov 2021, 10:32**

I work part time as an activities co ordinator in a Dementia Home as well as my part time working in horseracing.

Wherever you work you always get one!

I think this senior carer has started on the wrong person. She has bullied so many people in the past, but she started on the wrong person with me. The management are pleased with my work and at the end of the day I'm there for the residents not the staff!!

You have to stand up to bullies and take their power away! ... And the message is if anyone is being bullied the problem is not YOU but THEM!

Posted: **24 Nov 2021, 11:39**

I've also had experience with workplace bullying. It's a miserable experience. A bully can make you doubt everything about yourself. I started to doubt my ability to do the job. I couldn't sleep. Looking back now the cnut was actually making me ill.

It's a bit hard to stand up for yourself when it's the owner of the company who's the bully. Eventually I walked away. I've not seen the guy in about 14 years now and I don't miss him.

Posted: **24 Nov 2021, 12:02**

Sometimes I think the word bullying doesn't seem to be enough. It's so rooted in childhood playground antics that I feel it sort of loses heft.
Psychological abuse is more accurate but I guess a bit more of a mouthful.

Posted: **24 Nov 2021, 12:22**

Vanessa come and work at my place, our Activities Co-ordinator is a bit odd, to put it mildly

one of the sad things about care homes, you pay peanuts you get monkeys, and there's always more than a fair share of those at the homes I've worked at. Annoyingly for me right now that's the HR person responsible for ensuring I get paid right. Care work is extremely rewarding, but you don't need tools clouding your day, best way to deal with a bully remains unchanged - stand up and give it right back. Failing that, home manager and or CQC. Their arrested development shouldn't impact upon your work life, don't let it mate

I bet the residents think you're ace

Posted: **24 Nov 2021, 13:00**

Pista wrote: ↑24 Nov 2021, 12:02 Sometimes I think the word bullying doesn't seem to be enough. It's so rooted in childhood playground antics that I feel it sort of loses heft.
Psychological abuse is more accurate but I guess a bit more of a mouthful.

Yeah I was also bullied at school. I know what you're saying but in my experience, the difference between "childhood playground antics" and "Psychological abuse" is like tomato to-may-to.

Posted: **24 Nov 2021, 13:01**

That's the right attitude, elamanamou ...

... most of the time bullies are narcistic psychos with enormous weaknesses in self-esteem for some reason or other, giant gaps to put the knife deep in if necessary ...

...

Posted: **24 Nov 2021, 16:26**

Planet Dave wrote: ↑24 Nov 2021, 12:22 Vanessa come and work at my place, our Activities Co-ordinator is a bit odd, to put it mildly one of the sad things about care homes, you pay peanuts you get monkeys, and there's always more than a fair share of those at the homes I've worked at. Annoyingly for me right now that's the HR person responsible for ensuring I get paid right. Care work is extremely rewarding, but you don't need tools clouding your day, best way to deal with a bully remains unchanged - stand up and give it right back. Failing that, home manager and or CQC. Their arrested development shouldn't impact upon your work life, don't let it mate I bet the residents think you're ace

Working with Severe Dementia is very difficult. I;m lucky I'm in a position I don't need to work full time.

In my opinion to make the activity simple, as it confuses the resident's a too complex task! I always give them a kiss because when you get a smile it's priceless! They need love

Posted: **25 Nov 2021, 22:20**

markfiend wrote: ↑24 Nov 2021, 11:39 I've also had experience with workplace bullying. It's a miserable experience. A bully can make you doubt everything about yourself. I started to doubt my ability to do the job. I couldn't sleep. Looking back now the cnut was actually making me ill.

It's a bit hard to stand up for yourself when it's the owner of the company who's the bully. Eventually I walked away. I've not seen the guy in about 14 years now and I don't miss him.

Sorry to hear of your bad experience. Walking away from a toxic situation sometimes is the best policy, especially if you have sleepless nights and making you ill. Hopefully they done you a favour and you moved on to better things as sometimes that's often the case.

Posted: **26 Nov 2021, 10:34**

A while before I left he saw me wearing a red ribbon on World AIDS Day and asked "why are you wearing a poof ribbon?" In retrospect I should have walked out on him there and then.

Anyway that's all in the past now and I was just sharing my story in solidarity. We all stand against the bullies!

Posted: **29 Nov 2021, 08:47**

i despise bullies. i could be a proper cunnt of a bully if i wasnt mentally the way i am. so i am the anti-bully. come and tell me what to do you fuckkers i dare you.

Posted: **29 Nov 2021, 11:35**

I despise bullies and confrontation.

I will give people chances in case there is a possible reason for such vile behaviour but when it continues, I will delete, block and remove the person from my life. I realise I am in a fortunate position to be able to do that and not everyone can walk away.

Hope things get better for you Vanessa and for anyone else enduring such vile behaviour. Please remember, it's not you, it's them. Much love xx

Posted: **29 Nov 2021, 13:43**

SmileySister wrote: ↑29 Nov 2021, 11:35 I despise bullies and confrontation.

I will give people chances in case there is a possible reason for such vile behaviour but when it continues, I will delete, block and remove the person from my life. I realise I am in a fortunate position to be able to do that and not everyone can walk away.

Hope things get better for you Vanessa and for anyone else enduring such vile behaviour. Please remember, it's not you, it's them. Much love xx

its good that you are strong enough to do that Laura, but as you say some arent. I am HAPPY to be the instrument of someome else's Kharma.

Posted: **29 Nov 2021, 14:00**

eastmidswhizzkid wrote: ↑29 Nov 2021, 13:43
SmileySister wrote: ↑29 Nov 2021, 11:35 I despise bullies and confrontation.

I will give people chances in case there is a possible reason for such vile behaviour but when it continues, I will delete, block and remove the person from my life. I realise I am in a fortunate position to be able to do that and not everyone can walk away.

Hope things get better for you Vanessa and for anyone else enduring such vile behaviour. Please remember, it's not you, it's them. Much love xx
its good that you are strong enough to do that Laura, but as you say some arent. I am HAPPY to be the instrument of someome else's Kharma.

I'm 54 Lee. I've been subjected to some vile behaviour in the past but I'm at an age where I don't have to take s**t anymore.

Having said that, if someone has a pop at my family or friends, I WILL protect them by ANY means xx

Posted: **29 Nov 2021, 14:07**

SmileySister wrote: ↑29 Nov 2021, 14:00
eastmidswhizzkid wrote: ↑29 Nov 2021, 13:43
SmileySister wrote: ↑29 Nov 2021, 11:35 I despise bullies and confrontation.

I will give people chances in case there is a possible reason for such vile behaviour but when it continues, I will delete, block and remove the person from my life. I realise I am in a fortunate position to be able to do that and not everyone can walk away.

Hope things get better for you Vanessa and for anyone else enduring such vile behaviour. Please remember, it's not you, it's them. Much love xx
its good that you are strong enough to do that Laura, but as you say some arent. I am HAPPY to be the instrument of someome else's Kharma.
I'm 54 Lee. I've been subjected to some vile behaviour in the past but I'm at an age where I don't have to take s**t anymore.

Having said that, if someone has a pop at my family or friends, I WILL protect them by ANY means xx

i KNOW you would. in that we are as the say the same Suzanne.

Posted: **09 Dec 2021, 12:51**

I was bullied at school... but I probably also unwittyingly bullied other children. No excuse, but the level of aggression that was quite normalised in British schools (and probably my own insecurity) made it very difficult not to.

I feel terrible about it now but it was almost an automatic reaction to some children...a shove in a hallway etc... as if this was the norm. But imagine being that child that always, by everyone, gets shoved in the hallway. Sorry.

Posted: **19 Dec 2021, 20:04**

i was bullied physically for about a week and took a good kicking. then my mums biker boyfriend chased these kids down an alley way on his motorbike. the ONLY time he wasnt a complete cunnt to me actually, as he bullied me for years until i was bigger then him.
however i did endure 5 years of having "hole in my shoe" (neil from the young ones) sung at me because i had long hair. i preferred "is it a boy or a girl" to be honest.
the point if this post is me being bullied at home. what the fukc can you do about that except be patient?

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