Heartland

Lord of the biscuits.
Take a break from the crunchy goodness & enjoy a nice fluffy cake

Happy Birthday Bastard! have a wicked day!

All the best ... ... and many happy returns !!!

Give it loads kid

A very Happy Birthday to you!

Belated Evil Wishes

Many EB belated wishes

I am touched, nay honoured, that my tea-sodden biscuit-dunking peers have sent birthday wishes. I spent the day at the doctor's, on account of my laptop sounding like it was grinding coffee beans. Upon opening it they discovered that the bearings in one fan had given up the ghost, which accounted for the terrible grinding noise, the other was on its last legs (blades?), and there was a frankly very nasty collection of biscuit crumbs adhered to every component by means of nicotine (I've had the thing since before I quit smoking). Apparently 3rd-hand smoke is now A Thing - being exposed to smoking residue on surfaces is apparently just as bad for you as breathing in 2nd-hand smoke - so they politely but firmly told me to take it out of their sight, opining that "smokers die younger, and that goes for technology too". It was probably time for it to be put out to pasture - after 7 years it had decided that "restart" meant "shut down but don't actually do anything else", it did some odd things coming out of sleep mode (we all get to that age, I suppose), it didn't always play nicely with peripherals plugged into the dock, and the battery was not to be trusted.
So shedding a small tear I wrapped it in shrink-wrap, stuck a biohazard sticker on the lid, and dropped it in the local tech recycling bin, and then spent my birthday postal-order on a shiny new Lenovo ThinkBook which has so far refused to p*ss me off.