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13-10-2003 Anyone For Toast?

Posted: 13 Oct 2003, 23:07
by James Blast
A posh hotel holds three weddings on the same day and at the end of the night the 3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events over a couple of shandy's.

One questions the other two, "Listen, it's our wedding night and I was wondering - how many times are we expected to...um...you know.... do it"

Eventually, they all decide to retire to their respective wives and see how the night goes, with the idea to meet up the following morning over breakfast to discuss what went on.

Suddenly one of the grooms pipes up, "Hold on lads, we can't discuss our first night marital goings on over the breakfast table with our new wives sat with us."

"No you're right. What we'll do then, is for every piece of toast we order with our breakfast, that'll be the amount times we did it" offers another groom.

They all decide it's an excellent idea and depart.

The next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit dishevelled, but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely stagger across the room to their tables.

The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his order, "Hello, I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces of toast please".

The other two grooms smile at him and raise a glass of fresh orange in a toast to his fantastic prowess.

The waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, "I too shall have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR pieces of toast"

The waitress gets to the last groom "I shall also have the full English breakfast please, yet I shall have...", he takes a deep breath, "SEVEN, yes SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST", he calls for everyone's benefit whilst giving a big cheesy grin to his two wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief at the thought how he achieved this.

"Seven pieces of toast sir?" queries the waitress. "Why, that's an awful lot"

"Yes indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is."

She writes down his order and turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her again:-



"And by the way love, can you make two of those brown?"

:D :D :D

Re: 13-10-2003 Anyone For Toast?

Posted: 13 Oct 2003, 23:09
by Big Si
Red Sunsets wrote:A posh hotel holds three weddings on the same day and at the end of the night the 3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events over a couple of shandy's.

One questions the other two, "Listen, it's our wedding night and I was wondering - how many times are we expected to...um...you know.... do it"

Eventually, they all decide to retire to their respective wives and see how the night goes, with the idea to meet up the following morning over breakfast to discuss what went on.

Suddenly one of the grooms pipes up, "Hold on lads, we can't discuss our first night marital goings on over the breakfast table with our new wives sat with us."

"No you're right. What we'll do then, is for every piece of toast we order with our breakfast, that'll be the amount times we did it" offers another groom.

They all decide it's an excellent idea and depart.

The next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit dishevelled, but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely stagger across the room to their tables.

The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his order, "Hello, I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces of toast please".

The other two grooms smile at him and raise a glass of fresh orange in a toast to his fantastic prowess.

The waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, "I too shall have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR pieces of toast"

The waitress gets to the last groom "I shall also have the full English breakfast please, yet I shall have...", he takes a deep breath, "SEVEN, yes SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST", he calls for everyone's benefit whilst giving a big cheesy grin to his two wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief at the thought how he achieved this.

"Seven pieces of toast sir?" queries the waitress. "Why, that's an awful lot"

"Yes indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is."

She writes down his order and turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her again:-



"And by the way love, can you make two of those brown?"

:D :D :D
:notworthy:

But it's an old one! :roll:

Anyone For Toast?

Posted: 13 Oct 2003, 23:11
by James Blast
sorry BS, its Monday and i'm tired

Re: Anyone For Toast?

Posted: 13 Oct 2003, 23:13
by Big Si
Red Sunsets wrote:sorry BS, its Monday and i'm tired
But then again, they might not have heard it outside of Glasgow! :wink: ;D

Posted: 13 Oct 2003, 23:14
by James Blast
heheheheheheh trooo!
PS who's tending bar tonight?

Posted: 13 Oct 2003, 23:18
by Big Si
Red Sunsets wrote:heheheheheheh trooo!
PS who's tending bar tonight?
We both are! Watch out we don't drown the Fairy! :twisted:

Posted: 13 Oct 2003, 23:37
by Big Si
Crow nabbed after one schnapps too many

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police have apprehended a vicious crow which was attacking passers-by by getting it drunk on bait laced with alcohol, authorities say.


The bird eluded its captors after attacking a woman and a young girl at the weekend until cat food soaked in high-alcohol fruit schnapps proved too tempting to resist.


"The crow was completely smashed," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Dortmund.


Police said the crow was sleeping off its hangover in a local animal home.