High school poetry corner

Black Shuck · 01 Nov 2003, 12:44

This thread will either get no replies or about a million...

I was looking through some of me secondary school exercise books (why? I don't know) the other day, when I found a poem I wrote whilst still at school. It made me laugh hysterically for about 20 minutes, and I thought to myself 'hmmm... I wonder if any other Heartlanders also have awful old poems from their youth they they didn't have the heart to throw away?'

your adolescent hopes and desires, scribbled down during double maths...

we can discuss them, and offer constructive criticism; it can be a 'poetry corner'

here's my peach (written about some long-forgotten girl):

I love you
Passion pumps through my blood
I can't sit still
I learn for your warmth

I hate you
You pass me by
My presence irrelevant
crap blowing in the wind

nice, eh? I particularly like the 'crap blowing in the wind' line (musta been listening to Dylan that day)

Almiche V · 01 Nov 2003, 13:11

No offence but your signature is Howard Jones isn't it. ISN'T IT!!

Black Planet · 01 Nov 2003, 16:42

Yes that sig line is Howard Jones.

Erudite · 01 Nov 2003, 16:52

@ Black Shuck
Should the second word of the fourth line be "yearn"?

Nothing survives from my school days, however, I do have this little gem
written when I was about nineteen.

Prayer to Death

Reap my soul,
Caress my spirit,
Enfold me in your velvet wings,
Deliver unto me the night that never ends.

Take me where there is no pain,
Release me from my worldly cares,
Let me see the far side of the Dark,
With my own hand as the Ferryman,
Thus shall I embark.

If brooding were an Olympic sport I could brought the Gold home for
Britain!

Izzy HaveMercy · 01 Nov 2003, 18:23

I had this lovely poem on the cover of my Chemistry book:

"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am the Love God
But who the feck are you?"

etcetera.

Nancy_78 · 01 Nov 2003, 22:47

I did this naff parody of MC Hammer's "Pray"(1990) when I was in my 6th year of primary school(1990/91 period) that went:

...We've got the spray
Against the flies today...

The original went:

...We got to pray
Just to make it today...

I also did some very cool parody of Snow's "Informer"(1993) a few years later but I can't remember how it went at all.Unfortunately. *sigh*

I just loved doing parodies of crap chart songs.

zigeunerweisen · 01 Nov 2003, 23:54

Fortunately i've always been mature enough to understand that poetry should better be left to those who can write it, that means, not me and 99.69% of the world's population.

But Izzy, on the other hand, has it going for him, i liked it.

Black Planet · 02 Nov 2003, 04:22

Oh what the hell

Love called my name
wild abadoned untamed
cool sheets on my skin
kissed by the cold blown wind
time tells a tale
emotions set sail
forever she said
before she dropped dead >>>>>ha I know bad line...

The smile he returned
Was one that he learned
To turn on the charm
But to him what's the harm?

That was off the top of my head in less than a minute.

Poetry flows from your soul. If you haven't a soul, dont' bother to think your a poet. I'm not and I write this s**t all the time. But then again..Rob Holliday and Zodiac Mindwarp like my bletherings... but I wont quit my day job.

Black Planet · 02 Nov 2003, 04:24

Oh and Romi go on with that book of yours!

PG

Black Shuck · 02 Nov 2003, 14:53

snubnoseuk wrote:No offence but your signature is Howard Jones isn't it. ISN'T IT!!

In defference to snubnoseuk's delicate pop sensibilities, I have changed my signature.

Black Shuck · 02 Nov 2003, 14:55

Black Planet wrote:Oh what the hell

Love called my name
wild abadoned untamed
cool sheets on my skin
kissed by the cold blown wind
time tells a tale
emotions set sail
forever she said
before she dropped dead >>>>>ha I know bad line...

The smile he returned
Was one that he learned
To turn on the charm
But to him what's the harm?

That was off the top of my head in less than a minute.

BP, I like your poem.

Almiche V · 02 Nov 2003, 15:02

Black Shuck wrote:
snubnoseuk wrote:No offence but your signature is Howard Jones isn't it. ISN'T IT!!
In defference to snubnoseuk's delicate pop sensibilities, I have changed my signature.

The power!

I saw HJ in '84, I think it was. He was pretty good, I think the strap on keyboard was a bad, bad move though.

Black Planet · 03 Nov 2003, 00:10

I saw HJ a few times back in the day .. Great show.

And today.. was cleaning house..found a photo yes. actual photo of Billy Idol looking so efffing hot...Sigh

Black Shuck, thank you. That's a nice compliment. But just so you know...you have to practice. You will write a lot of what U think is crap...but believe me..

When ppl read it , they will either like it or not.. and the ones who like it will tell you, so then you know, you have created something someone likes.

Me, I don't like Picasso. I like Monet. It's all in the eye of the beholder. That is why we call it art. And your poem isn't bad at all. I'd say...keep writing.

See?

Best to you.

BP

emilystrange · 03 Nov 2003, 20:46

i won the school poetry prize for my teenage angst. bit worrying that. can't find the things, they're here somewhere.
haven't i seen you on another forum, black shuck?

Black Planet · 03 Nov 2003, 20:49

Welcome to Heartland strange one.

emilystrange · 03 Nov 2003, 20:52

thank you. been looking for a home.

Black Shuck · 04 Nov 2003, 14:38

emilystrange wrote:i won the school poetry prize for my teenage angst. bit worrying that. can't find the things, they're here somewhere.
haven't i seen you on another forum, black shuck?

Hope you find the poem, sounds intriguing.

and I also post as Black Shuck on the 'factory records' forum, also run by the very groovy Quiff boy. perhaps you've seen me post there?

I also post on www.morrissey-solo.com but my user name is JiltedJim.

emilystrange · 04 Nov 2003, 14:43

actually there was a whole book of the. very embarrassing.

Andy TG · 04 Nov 2003, 21:37

Black Planet wrote:Yes that sig line is Howard Jones.

I have a certain feeling that the 'sig' is "This Ole House" once *cough* sung by Shakin Stevens

Black Planet · 04 Nov 2003, 23:41

But Andy, Howard Jones had a song with those lyrics...it's been running through my head non stop since I read it. Very annoying.

Black Shuck · 05 Nov 2003, 12:24

AndyTheGoth wrote:
Black Planet wrote:Yes that sig line is Howard Jones.
I have a certain feeling that the 'sig' is "This Ole House" once *cough* sung by Shakin Stevens

Careful what you say about Shakey... me and my friends thing he's a living legend

emilystrange · 05 Nov 2003, 12:34

i have found my 6th form poetry file. i haven't dared open it yet though.

emilystrange · 05 Nov 2003, 14:22

did the deed. There are 24 of the damn things! all numbered, dated and signed by my then alter ego! goodness me.

They were all supposed to be song lyrics, so you can put them in that thread. This was the 'best' one. it has guitar tabs written on it but i don't know why. And its NOT about me. it says so on the margin notes (anal or what)

I once knew a girl who used to sit
Alone and apart, in the corner of the room
Not wanting smiles and chatter
was there but not in spirit
she was never sad, never happy
not noticed but always missed
when she spoke her voice dreamt, expression echoed in her eyes;
always distance in those hypnotic depths.
Lost she was in her mind ,silently living a different life
smiling at secret joy
No emotion in accordance with reality.
she never wanted us;
we watched her, afraid of the mystery within her,
longing to share in that world.
No one hated her, every critic
received a thoughtful glance - she knew but did not care.
All admired her, some moved earth for her.
None of us knew her well;
it was enough to look, envy and feel the presence,
enough to see her breath stooping smile
and know that this creature smiled out of fantasy
and unconsciously let reality escape.
12.8.1985

And they gave me a PROPER school prize! Like in Enid Blyton!!! and i didn't even know i'd entered!!!