Some Correspondence
Posted: 31 Dec 2003, 22:15
My wife has recently been having some trouble with the Student Loans Company over money owed.
To put you in the picture, she has been ill with fybromyalgia (a condition similar to ME) since '96 and has been totally unable to work this year. I have been paying a nominal fee on her behalf, which is apparently not enough.
So I thought I'd share the letter I wrote for her - partly to shame them, mainly because IMHO it is quite amusing in places.
Writers - huh!
Probably gonna really p*ss them off but I reckon they are on a hiding to nothing anyway...
Dear Scott,
Re your letter reference CD/SW dated 23 December 2003 and my husband’s subsequent telephone conversation with your Collections Agent, Anna Bailey, on 30 December 2003. I must inform you that:
a) As my husband does not get paid until the 15th of each month he has no intention of revising the previously agreed collection date.
b) Having submitted our financial details, I am most curious as to where you expect the money for the "substantial monthly increase" to come from. Clearly, this is little more than a thinly veiled threat. However, if you wish to waste more of your company’s time and money by attempting to take a sick woman with no income to court in an embarrassing attempt to extort money from her, I am of course powerless to stop you. Doubtless, your time is accounted against company overheads and no great loss.
c) That said, I am quite prepared to submit fifty percent of my current monthly earnings to you in repayment of my loan. Sadly, the immutable laws of arithmetic are such that half of nothing is also nothing.
I am also interested to learn why, when there is no power of attorney associated with the loan, you are prepared to accept money from my husband on my behalf but will not speak with him. This strikes me as more than a little hypocritical.
Furthermore, I note that Anna’s Team Leader has not had the courtesy to return my husband’s call as requested. Perhaps my husband should return the courtesy by forgetting to pay you each month?
As previously stated, I am currently unable to work due to a debilitating auto-immune disorder, nor am I likely to return to work as my condition has no known cure. I would therefore appreciate it if you would submit in writing the exact documentation/medical proof required for the outstanding balance of my loan to be written off. I am afraid the verbal assurance of your Collections Agent, who is apparently incapable of organising for her Team Leader to return a telephone call, is not, in my opinion, worth the breath it is spoken with.
I look forward to receiving your prompt response to this letter.
Sometimes, no matter how large your vocabulary is, the most fitting word is c*nts!
Anyway,
Hope you all have a good New Year!
More nonsense posted shortly...
PS
No sympathy required - this is just me mouthing off against what I view as mindless bureaucracy.
To put you in the picture, she has been ill with fybromyalgia (a condition similar to ME) since '96 and has been totally unable to work this year. I have been paying a nominal fee on her behalf, which is apparently not enough.
So I thought I'd share the letter I wrote for her - partly to shame them, mainly because IMHO it is quite amusing in places.
Writers - huh!
Probably gonna really p*ss them off but I reckon they are on a hiding to nothing anyway...
Dear Scott,
Re your letter reference CD/SW dated 23 December 2003 and my husband’s subsequent telephone conversation with your Collections Agent, Anna Bailey, on 30 December 2003. I must inform you that:
a) As my husband does not get paid until the 15th of each month he has no intention of revising the previously agreed collection date.
b) Having submitted our financial details, I am most curious as to where you expect the money for the "substantial monthly increase" to come from. Clearly, this is little more than a thinly veiled threat. However, if you wish to waste more of your company’s time and money by attempting to take a sick woman with no income to court in an embarrassing attempt to extort money from her, I am of course powerless to stop you. Doubtless, your time is accounted against company overheads and no great loss.
c) That said, I am quite prepared to submit fifty percent of my current monthly earnings to you in repayment of my loan. Sadly, the immutable laws of arithmetic are such that half of nothing is also nothing.
I am also interested to learn why, when there is no power of attorney associated with the loan, you are prepared to accept money from my husband on my behalf but will not speak with him. This strikes me as more than a little hypocritical.
Furthermore, I note that Anna’s Team Leader has not had the courtesy to return my husband’s call as requested. Perhaps my husband should return the courtesy by forgetting to pay you each month?
As previously stated, I am currently unable to work due to a debilitating auto-immune disorder, nor am I likely to return to work as my condition has no known cure. I would therefore appreciate it if you would submit in writing the exact documentation/medical proof required for the outstanding balance of my loan to be written off. I am afraid the verbal assurance of your Collections Agent, who is apparently incapable of organising for her Team Leader to return a telephone call, is not, in my opinion, worth the breath it is spoken with.
I look forward to receiving your prompt response to this letter.
Sometimes, no matter how large your vocabulary is, the most fitting word is c*nts!
Anyway,
Hope you all have a good New Year!
More nonsense posted shortly...
PS
No sympathy required - this is just me mouthing off against what I view as mindless bureaucracy.
